Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
There's a Minecraft museum?? I need to google this.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
OMG yes! Before she went back to school, I could tell that DD was as tired of me as I was of her. My MIL looked at me like I was a monster when I said something about us being tired of each other ("how could I ever possibly get tired of that precious little angel, blah blah blah" - shut up lady). It was definitely taking a toll on all of us. Having to be "on" and fun and engaging is exhausting.
And to the couple of previous posters who both have kids starting back at daycare - I'll be thinking of you guys. There definitely aren't any easy answers out there. I hope it goes well and that what that does mentally for everyone goes a long way.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
There's a Minecraft museum?? I need to google this.
I thought it was a whole museum but I double checked and it’s a traveling exhibition at the Museum of Pop Culture. It was supposed to run through September but I’m not sure what will happen now.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
so much this ... until I was let go mid May bc I wasn’t a ‘viable candidate to work from home long term’ bc I had a school age child and no designated place to work undisturbed/uninterrupted bc until school got out in June I had to juggle work,school, and parenting - even though she’s 10, she’s not a self motivated child at all. I start a new position next Monday *YAY* but these 2 months w her have not been pleasant bc what is there to do Nothing ... drives us both nuts and smashes the ‘quality time’ myth to pieces.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
so much this ... until I was let go mid May bc I wasn’t a ‘viable candidate to work from home long term’ bc I had a school age child and no designated place to work undisturbed/uninterrupted bc until school got out in June I had to juggle work,school, and parenting - even though she’s 10, she’s not a self motivated child at all. I start a new position next Monday *YAY* but these 2 months w her have not been pleasant bc what is there to do Nothing ... drives us both nuts and smashes the ‘quality time’ myth to pieces.
I must have missed that you lost your job. Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened but relieved to hear you found something new!
But, yes, the whole argument is steeped in this sexist misconception — this faux concern — that we as working mothers weren’t spending enough quality time with our kids before. When I used to travel for work, people like my mother would tsk tsk that I was “missing out” on time with my DD, but NO ONE ever said to my H, “Aren’t you glad your wife travels so much so you get more quality time with your daughter?”
We were managing JUST FINE before this happened, thankyouverymuch. The whole world didn’t need to fall apart so I could be a better mother.
I feel a lot of this. When schools and daycares shut down we suddenly had Dh and I and both kids home 24/7 and instead of focusing solely on work from 8-5, we were managing 2nd grade education, preschool, screen time, wrestling, and our work requirements/commitments never changed. So instead of working 8-10 hours a day, we were now working 16-18 hours a day due to interruptions, schooling, and even increased work responsibilities.
When summer camp opened, we needed to send the kids. They needed more than 1 hour of school followed by Minecraft/Roblox/Netflix and entertaining themselves all day and after 3 months, that’s what it became because we were done fighting with them. Yes, it’s risky to send them to daycare but we all needed it. They needed more structure and we needed quiet time to do our jobs. I can’t tell you the number of times We were both of conference calls and ds2 comes in from the bathroom without pants on or yelling he needed help or just rough housing in general. The risk sucks, but having them at home getting lazier and wilder by the day sucked more.
so much this ... until I was let go mid May bc I wasn’t a ‘viable candidate to work from home long term’ bc I had a school age child and no designated place to work undisturbed/uninterrupted bc until school got out in June I had to juggle work,school, and parenting - even though she’s 10, she’s not a self motivated child at all. I start a new position next Monday *YAY* but these 2 months w her have not been pleasant bc what is there to do Nothing ... drives us both nuts and smashes the ‘quality time’ myth to pieces.
I must have missed that you lost your job. Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened but relieved to hear you found something new!
But, yes, the whole argument is steeped in this sexist misconception — this faux concern — that we as working mothers weren’t spending enough quality time with our kids before. When I used to travel for work, people like my mother would tsk tsk that I was “missing out” on time with my DD, but NO ONE ever said to my H, “Aren’t you glad your wife travels so much so you get more quality time with your daughter?”
We were managing JUST FINE before this happened, thankyouverymuch. The whole world didn’t need to fall apart so I could be a better mother.
I feel lucky that I was able to land a new position relatively fast.
As a single mom, I’ve had to dodge all of the questions about her dad helping me from those who don’t know the complicated situation. No, there is no dad for back up. People tell me to enjoy the time I’m not working to be w her. Uh we had no problems w quality time while I was working and she was in school. I got my much needed break from her so I could enjoy her.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
Seriously. I missed the memo where this was supposed to be quality time. My mom/ILs definitely think we're just sitting around baking cookies and making DIY volcanoes all day.
It's been everything BUT quality time. It's been 'Please watch this tablet and do not disturb me for the next 60 minutes while I'm presenting in a meeting with people I really need to impress'. And nearly losing my mind when they come in to interrupt 15 seconds later.
Or losing my shit because after 25 minutes, my kindergartner STILL did not write his required 2 sentences on some bullshit worksheet assigned by our city's department of education (not even his specific teacher, just a Kindergarten teacher that picked busy work for all K students).
It's me rushing through bedtime. Probably yelling at some point in the process in the hopes that a 4 year old and 6 year old move faster. Just so I can log a few more hours of work after the kids go to bed.
It's been me burning the kids lunch because a meeting ran over the planned time and lunch was ruined because I thought it would reflect poorly on me professionally to stop the meeting and admit that I needed to go tend to my kids.
It's feeling guilty for saying 'No, you can't go play outside, Mommy has to work' and shoving them in front of a screen again instead of letting them get the fresh air and active time that their bodies desperately crave.
Or resenting my husband because his essential work is outside the home, so there's no tapping out or switching off midday.
I felt so incredibly guilty to send them back to daycare two weeks ago. So much so, I only signed them up for 3 days a week and I'm powering through the other 1.5 days (1/2 day Fridays). I know I'm being judged by older family members for sending them. That the grandparents now won't want to see the kids in person because of the added exposure (understandable). So it's like I've prioritized better working conditions for myself over my kids seeing their grandparents.
It's all a no-win situation.
ETA: I guess the TL;DR version is my kids were getting the worst version of me. Yes, more time together in quantity, but certainly not quality.
And our retired parents are bored and having a hard time... okay, I’m sorry you are bored, but I’m busier than I’ve ever been in my life. I have a new job, H works FT in a demanding job and we are drowning trying to keep two kids healthy and mentally well at this point in isolation. (Over quarantine we have also lost my MIL, and then a family pet and my parents’ dog within a couple of weeks after, it has been really hard on the kids as they are grieving on top of everything else with no break, support from friends, or distractions. Let alone my H and supporting my FIL. I simply cannot take on “boredom” of others right now.)
omg, I feel the bolded so hard. It's all I hear about from MIL, about how she's "climbing the walls" at home, and so bored, and having such a hard time adjusting to FIL being home all the time (he was pushed to retire 6 mo. early with the pandemic). WOMAN. Under normal circumstances I'd try to listen and be empathetic, but... the ring theory of helping grieving people applies to all people in crisis. And those of us who are working parents are 100% IN CRISIS through this. Comfort in. Dump out. Find a girlfriend to dump to. Same to you, dad. Love you, but NOT NOW with this!
I am sorry for the losses your family has been dealt these months.
Leaving aside the issue of schools, how many people ACTUALLY feel like this additional time with our kids is additional quality time anyway?
I mean, I was supposed to take DD to Disney World for five days and then a girls trip to the Minecraft museum in Seattle. Now I drag her around the neighborhood on walks that neither of us is really enjoying while I either have to play endless games of “Guess that Pokémon” or hear about how boring I am.
But yeah, so glad we had this pandemic thing so we can enjoy all this extra togetherness.
There's a Minecraft museum?? I need to google this.
Yeah that's what I got out of this post.
But also, I agree that the time I spend isn't quality. I try to carve out an hour or two a day to do stuff with my 6 year old, but today meetings prevent that. He's laying on me watching a movie while I prep for my 1:00. My older one is 14 and really doesn't care much about quality time with mom. He just rode his bike to a friend's house and the mom texted me that they are gossiping on the porch. I did ask the older one to be back by 2 to play with his brother during my 2:00 meeting. Then at 3 when the older one had guitar lesson (over Zoom) I will be done with meetings and play with the little one. It just feels like a juggle all day every day.
Post by dulcemariamar on Jul 6, 2020 16:03:27 GMT -5
I think I would do totally win at being home during a pandemic if I didn’t have an kid so I also get so annoyed by my parents when they complain about how bored they are being at home. I am an introvert and I have a ton of hobbies that would keep me busy when I don’t have to work.
Like I think it would be boring after a while but it gets so exhausting trying to keep things normal for my kid and putting on a happy face... like on the days that I am feeling sad I just want to stay in bed and watch tv all day
Today was the day I had picked out a month or so ago as the day we would send the kids back if things looked ok. But because I’m in Texas and our governor sucks and 50% of the population wasn’t wearing a mask until it became required on Saturday our numbers are going crazy and we decided not to send them back yet. My 3 year old celebrated by getting my cell phone while I was on a work call via Teams and accidentally dialing 911. Quality time, indeed.
I’m technically on maternity leave with a newborn (though still working some most days now that everything is virtual) and my older 3 are all back In childcare and it’s amazing. I’m going to take what I can get of normalcy for now, since I seriously doubt things will be normal during the school year. Our county isn’t doing amazing, but our county is also nearly the size of Connecticut, so there’s a ton of variability within it and our town is a low case area. We haven’t increased our risk in any other way as things have reopened (adults still WFH, still getting stuff delivered) but this risk is worth it to me.
My toddler is in an in home daycare with two other kids and has been since early June. My older two kids are in their third week of YMCA camp. Our whole family is happier and healthier.
I’m touring different private schools everyday this week. They could all open under the current public health orders because the small class sizes would allow them to socially distance the kids and have school 5 days a week. But if all schools shut down again, then we’re paying for private school tuition and would still have to hire a babysitter. And private school tuition would already be a stretch on top of the new baby in daycare. I tell my friends I’m starting my own homeschool with a few other families and I’m only half kidding.
I will say that I sometimes feel like I’m living in crazy town, though, because I don’t feel like the parents I know IRL are really ready to send their kids back to school and childcare. Especially the ones with some degree of privilege (a high-paying and/or flexible job and/or help from family). They may SAY they agree with this article, but when push comes to shove and they need to fill out a parents survey on preferences for next year, many are checking the box for distance learning. It makes the teachers argument moot.
If we say schools and childcare are essential services, then people have to be willing to use them.
While we are ranting, I just need to share this infuriating interaction I had with my mother. I told her that we decided to send B to camp (it started yesterday), and that we are concerned about the additional exposure but that overall it was the best decision for all of us. And her response was “Well, I’m sure you will make the right choice.” It was all I could do to limit my response to “We DID make a choice, and it’s the right one for us.”
I will say that I sometimes feel like I’m living in crazy town, though, because I don’t feel like the parents I know IRL are really ready to send their kids back to school and childcare. Especially the ones with some degree of privilege (a high-paying and/or flexible job and/or help from family). They may SAY they agree with this article, but when push comes to shove and they need to fill out a parents survey on preferences for next year, many are checking the box for distance learning. It makes the teachers argument moot.
If we say schools and childcare are essential services, then people have to be willing to use them.
I totally agree with the article but at the end of the day our schools are supposed to open in about a month and we still haven’t been given any information on what that will look like. I checked the “in person” box on the survey but if the in person option doesn’t include distancing, masks, etc, I am keeping him home. With the shit show Texas is I don’t predict in person schooling to last more than a few weeks before they shut it all down again anyway. I know that is my privilege to make the decision to keep him home, despite how awful it is for all of us. Our leaders have failed our children, and in turn have failed us.
I will say that I sometimes feel like I’m living in crazy town, though, because I don’t feel like the parents I know IRL are really ready to send their kids back to school and childcare. Especially the ones with some degree of privilege (a high-paying and/or flexible job and/or help from family). They may SAY they agree with this article, but when push comes to shove and they need to fill out a parents survey on preferences for next year, many are checking the box for distance learning. It makes the teachers argument moot.
If we say schools and childcare are essential services, then people have to be willing to use them.
I agree but most of those are very privileged in that they can hire a nanny/tutor or have a SAHP/grandparents or another family member that can stay home and supervise. They don’t generally have two full time working parents and no nearby family.
I will say that I sometimes feel like I’m living in crazy town, though, because I don’t feel like the parents I know IRL are really ready to send their kids back to school and childcare. Especially the ones with some degree of privilege (a high-paying and/or flexible job and/or help from family). They may SAY they agree with this article, but when push comes to shove and they need to fill out a parents survey on preferences for next year, many are checking the box for distance learning. It makes the teachers argument moot.
If we say schools and childcare are essential services, then people have to be willing to use them.
I totally agree with the article but at the end of the day our schools are supposed to open in about a month and we still haven’t been given any information on what that will look like. I checked the “in person” box on the survey but if the in person option doesn’t include distancing, masks, etc, I am keeping him home. With the shit show Texas is I don’t predict in person schooling to last more than a few weeks before they shut it all down again anyway. I know that is my privilege to make the decision to keep him home, despite how awful it is for all of us. Our leaders have failed our children, and in turn have failed us.
I filled out one of these yesterday and although I think in person is best, I will not send him if everyone isn’t wearing a mask and having kids and teachers do that all day including on the bus is not going to be easy. I see a lot of parents posting anti-mask stuff and my head explodes100 times a day. It’s going to be so hard for schools to implement everything for safety and make the necessary adjustments. It’s hard for the schools and hard for the parents. I don’t think there’s an easy or clear cut answer here. We live on a hard hit area that is doing much better now, so a lot of my perspective comes from where I sit sort of speak. I’m sure people in other areas of the country might feel very different.
goldengirlz I feel like a lot of it is people signaling to society that they care more about their kids than others do. Not needing to send your kids to daycare or camp or school is like a new status symbol. The richest elementary school in our district had the most parents say they’d keep their kids home from school, but my friend who lives there says those people are having sleepovers and doing other risky stuff. So in public they want to signal that they care more about their kids, but in private they aren’t acting like it.
I think a lot of SAHMs are also getting pressure from spouses and grandparents to keep their kids home even if they don’t really think it’s the best thing. Many of my SAHM friends have always felt guilty using childcare or preschool because ‘well, I’m home...’ even if they wanted to.
I’d be fine sending my kids to elementary school without masks and distancing, given what has been found so far in daycares and in other countries about the risks of small children suffering from and spreading COVID. Assuming adults are masked and distanced. But I’m happy to send them in whatever is helpful to make teachers and staff feel safe. And I think older kids need to be masked and distanced.
Post by goldengirlz on Jul 7, 2020 11:02:15 GMT -5
cherry1111 and lovelyshoes, I understand your concerns, but you’re kind of proving my point.
The article is wondering where the groundswell of parent outrage is and ... I don’t hear it. On the one hand, you have people who rely on the schools and are desperate to send their children back no matter what. But on the other hand, you have a fairly vocal contingent that either wants the impossible (i.e. modifications that would be very challenging for schools to implement) or have flat-out said they won’t send their kids back to a classroom.
And that creates gridlock. Extending virtual learning is the easiest way for schools to say they’re “doing what’s best for families,” but as the comments here suggest, they’re crushing families.
I’m not saying these are easy decisions for schools or parents. But for all the times this article has been circulated on social media, I really don’t see anything changing in the fall.
goldengirlz I feel like a lot of it is people signaling to society that they care more about their kids than others do. Not needing to send your kids to daycare or camp or school is like a new status symbol. The richest elementary school in our district had the most parents say they’d keep their kids home from school, but my friend who lives there says those people are having sleepovers and doing other risky stuff. So in public they want to signal that they care more about their kids, but in private they aren’t acting like it.
I think a lot of SAHMs are also getting pressure from spouses and grandparents to keep their kids home even if they don’t really think it’s the best thing. Many of my SAHM friends have always felt guilty using childcare or preschool because ‘well, I’m home...’ even if they wanted to.
I’d be fine sending my kids to elementary school without masks and distancing, given what has been found so far in daycares and in other countries about the risks of small children suffering from and spreading COVID. Assuming adults are masked and distanced. But I’m happy to send them in whatever is helpful to make teachers and staff feel safe. And I think older kids need to be masked and distanced.
Are those families having sleepovers with anyone, or are they sticking to very small self-contained stable pods/bubbles? Small pods have worked very well at containing the virus in other countries, while still allowing safe closeness like that, but it's a solution we are almost completely ignoring in this country.
Post by minniemouse on Jul 7, 2020 11:23:39 GMT -5
Most of our circle really wants the kids to go back in person; I don’t know anyone who is planning to homeschool solely due to the pandemic. I would be very interested to see the results of our school’s survey though, as I suspect our circle may not be the norm.. My kid’s dance studio tried to set up an outdoor recital taping event, with no audience, and couldn’t get enough people to commit as people were nervous about kids being that close onstage for 2 minutes. I can’t imagine those people would be ok with their kids in school for 6 hours. At this point I just need NY to make a decision. I can’t take the anxiety of the unknown much longer.
goldengirlz I feel like a lot of it is people signaling to society that they care more about their kids than others do. Not needing to send your kids to daycare or camp or school is like a new status symbol. The richest elementary school in our district had the most parents say they’d keep their kids home from school, but my friend who lives there says those people are having sleepovers and doing other risky stuff. So in public they want to signal that they care more about their kids, but in private they aren’t acting like it.
I think a lot of SAHMs are also getting pressure from spouses and grandparents to keep their kids home even if they don’t really think it’s the best thing. Many of my SAHM friends have always felt guilty using childcare or preschool because ‘well, I’m home...’ even if they wanted to.
I’d be fine sending my kids to elementary school without masks and distancing, given what has been found so far in daycares and in other countries about the risks of small children suffering from and spreading COVID. Assuming adults are masked and distanced. But I’m happy to send them in whatever is helpful to make teachers and staff feel safe. And I think older kids need to be masked and distanced.
Are those families having sleepovers with anyone, or are they sticking to very small self-contained stable pods/bubbles? Small pods have worked very well at containing the virus in other countries, while still allowing safe closeness like that, but it's a solution we are almost completely ignoring in this country.
I think you’re missing the point. She’s not judging sleepovers or social pods. She’s saying privileged people are living in their own world of cutesy terms like “social bubbles” while families that need to put food on the table have no choice but to suck up this shitty hand they’ve been dealt. If you have a “pod” of two or three other families who are watching your kids when you need a break, good on you. But what good is a social pod if you have zero support, you’re burning out and you’re close to losing your job?
Post by somersault72 on Jul 7, 2020 11:32:50 GMT -5
Anyone who says "well, you shouldn't have...." can fuck right off. I've also heard it for being choosing to work in healthcare. Yes, when I went to school for this 15 years ago I totally thought in 2020 a fucking pandemic would happen. Whatever. I'm also tired of "well at least..." LET PEOPLE COMPLAIN. Of COURSE I'm grateful to have a job, and healthy kids, blah, blah, blah. But that doesn't mean stuff isn't shitty sometimes. For ALL of us.
As far as school, I have no idea what's going to happen. They're pushing the "return to school full time" thing HARD but we have more cases than ever. It's really skyrocketed the past couple of weeks. I don't know what the right decision is, honestly, but I'm not going going to sit here and judge other parents. This whole situation just sucks. Also I can't believe what some of your parents have said to you. Jesus. Big hugs to all.
Are those families having sleepovers with anyone, or are they sticking to very small self-contained stable pods/bubbles? Small pods have worked very well at containing the virus in other countries, while still allowing safe closeness like that, but it's a solution we are almost completely ignoring in this country.
I think you’re missing the point. She’s not judging sleepovers or social pods. She’s saying privileged people are living in their own world of cutesy terms like “social bubbles” while families that need to put food on the table have no choice but to suck up this shitty hand they’ve been dealt. If you have a “pod” of two or three other families who are watching your kids when you need a break, good on you. But what good is a social pod if you have zero support, you’re burning out and you’re close to losing your job?
Um, pod members can either provide childcare for one another or pool resources to hire a babysitter. It can be a very practical arrangement that solves these problems more safely and cheaply than daycare.
I think you’re missing the point. She’s not judging sleepovers or social pods. She’s saying privileged people are living in their own world of cutesy terms like “social bubbles” while families that need to put food on the table have no choice but to suck up this shitty hand they’ve been dealt. If you have a “pod” of two or three other families who are watching your kids when you need a break, good on you. But what good is a social pod if you have zero support, you’re burning out and you’re close to losing your job?
Um, pod members can either provide childcare for one another or pool resources to hire a babysitter. It can be a very practical arrangement that solves these problems more safely and cheaply than daycare.
OK, so what you’re saying is that instead of school, I’m supposed to team up with a couple of other families and instead of managing distance learning for one kid five days/week, I’ll manage it for three kids every third day. Or we can hire a private tutor to teach these three kids and rotate them from house to house (since I’m not volunteering my 1400 sq ft home as a makeshift classroom or daycare while I’m trying to work — at least not five days a week.)
Most of our circle really wants the kids to go back in person; I don’t know anyone who is planning to homeschool solely due to the pandemic. I would be very interested to see the results of our school’s survey though, as I suspect our circle may not be the norm.. My kid’s dance studio tried to set up an outdoor recital taping event, with no audience, and couldn’t get enough people to commit as people were nervous about kids being that close onstage for 2 minutes. I can’t imagine those people would be ok with their kids in school for 6 hours. At this point I just need NY to make a decision. I can’t take the anxiety of the unknown much longer.
This is very interesting to me. Our daycare reopened in Center City Philly on 6/22. My daughter started yesterday because we had already paid a nanny for June care. With all the social distancing and new drop off/pick up procedures, I truly had no idea who had returned from her previous class.
I emailed the parents of her old class last night to see who had returned. A solid 40% have returned for the first month with more returning in August. I was so nervous that my daughter was literally the only one bounding back but it simply wasn’t the case.
Daycares are different than schools and younger kids are different than older kids, but the equation is so complicated. It’s hard to tell from what people say where they stand when push comes to shove.
cherry1111 and lovelyshoes , I understand your concerns, but you’re kind of proving my point.
The article is wondering where the groundswell of parent outrage is and ... I don’t hear it. On the one hand, you have people who rely on the schools and are desperate to send their children back no matter what. But on the other hand, you have a fairly vocal contingent that either wants the impossible (i.e. modifications that would be very challenging for schools to implement) or have flat-out said they won’t send their kids back to a classroom.
And that creates gridlock. Extending virtual learning is the easiest way for schools to say they’re “doing what’s best for families,” but as the comments here suggest, they’re crushing families.
I’m not saying these are easy decisions for schools or parents. But for all the times this article has been circulated on social media, I really don’t see anything changing in the fall.
Parents are afraid to voice their outrage b/c they are afraid to be let go. My male, empty-nester boss has tried to be supportive but literally said to me, "I don't know what to tell you about school; it affects so many employees" [basically, "that I can't do anything useful about it."] He also said, "I'll try to get you guys flexibility [from grand boss]." Like, you'll try? Okay, well, I'll try to not quit.
I think you’re missing the point. She’s not judging sleepovers or social pods. She’s saying privileged people are living in their own world of cutesy terms like “social bubbles” while families that need to put food on the table have no choice but to suck up this shitty hand they’ve been dealt. If you have a “pod” of two or three other families who are watching your kids when you need a break, good on you. But what good is a social pod if you have zero support, you’re burning out and you’re close to losing your job?
Um, pod members can either provide childcare for one another or pool resources to hire a babysitter. It can be a very practical arrangement that solves these problems more safely and cheaply than daycare.
But then families will lose the benefits of their childcare subsidy. In my state over 100k kids get subsidy; the net difference that they pay would have to be pooled with a LOT of families to have enough to pay someone to manage the pod, and then they'd lose their place on the subsidy, where the waitlist can take years to get thru.
I think you’re missing the point. She’s not judging sleepovers or social pods. She’s saying privileged people are living in their own world of cutesy terms like “social bubbles” while families that need to put food on the table have no choice but to suck up this shitty hand they’ve been dealt. If you have a “pod” of two or three other families who are watching your kids when you need a break, good on you. But what good is a social pod if you have zero support, you’re burning out and you’re close to losing your job?
Um, pod members can either provide childcare for one another or pool resources to hire a babysitter. It can be a very practical arrangement that solves these problems more safely and cheaply than daycare.
Yes, but this is a “solution” like food pantries are a solution when EBT gets cut— it completely shifts the burden to families. We can’t have a pod because, quite frankly, we don’t have anyone we know that we’ll. Maybe that makes me a loser but oh well. Our one close-ish relative, my MIL, does not want to see us in person because she would be sad not to hug my kids. My friends have close-knot neighbors and families that are their pods, and my girls haven’t made close enough school friends to do this yet.
I guess if everyone who can pod does, it makes day care a more manageable and less risky option for people like us, but I think setting this out as a way to manage a systemic issue is too narrow.