Oh please. OP asked if other people felt the same way and I told her my experience. I didn't minimize anyone's reasons for not wanting children. Clearly my view of MY life doesn't align with what you think having a kid is like. Fine I guess? To be clear, I give absolutely no fucks if you, OP or anyone else chooses to have 0 kids or 10 kids. Promise.
You also told her you were ambivalent toward kids but your husband wanted one so you were happy to give him a child.
Is your life the same because he does all the work? Because he should be in your case, lol.
I don’t think either of us actually is but if I had to pick a default parent, it would most likely be him on the day to day stuff.
My H and I are CFBC. From the time I was little I never wanted kids. I hated dolls (my mom eventually stopped trying to force them on me), I never baby sat, and the idea of pregnancy freaks me out. (Not to mention the older and more unhealthy I get, the more unwise a pregnancy seems.)
I also don't want to hold your baby or deal with your sticky toddler. I'll be polite, and might even find them amusing (one of my good friend's daughters thought I didn't have kids because I didn't have any toys in my house, and that kind of shit is hilarious). But until they are old enough to hold a real conversation and wipe their own butt, I'm really not interested.
My H also never wanted kids when he was younger, but he also never wanted to get married either, so he had a few moments of "will we have regrets?" which led to some interesting conversations. But ultimately we decided it was better for us to not put ourselves through something neither of us really wanted or felt a need to do.
My BFF would text me sometimes at the wee hours of the morning, freezing her ass off as one of her boys was playing football, and when I saw the text several hours later, I just couldn't picture that ever being part of my life. And if I ever got called into a school because my kid was swearing (and any kid of mine would 100% have a potty mouth), I also don't think I could stop my self from being like, "So, WTF is your point?"
My mom was definitely NOT happy to not get a biological grandkid, but I really didn't care. Other than throwing gifts at my nieces, she wasn't a big help to my sister or brother with their stepkids, or with my niece's boys (before she broke her hip and ended up in the endless home->hospital->nursing home cycle).
I think it helps that my H and I have a LOT of childfree friends, and our friends who do have kids are like, "definitely don't have a kid if you don't want one. That would be bad."
I am currently fighting with my kindergartener over his virtual work, the little one needs his third derm appointment for contagious warts, and I’ve had to stay up past midnight every night this week in order to finish one season of a TV show I’m a couple years behind the rest of the world on, so I rescind all of my above rosy posts and implore you to save yourself from this madness.
Bumping the thread to share this recent Medium piece where 18 elder childfree women are asked, "There are many people who tell young childfree women that they will regret not having a child in their later years. What would you say to these critics?" It offers a wide variety of perspectives, but (spoiler alert!) none of them regret remaining childfree.
Bumping the thread to share this recent Medium piece where 18 elder childfree women are asked, "There are many people who tell young childfree women that they will regret not having a child in their later years. What would you say to these critics?" It offers a wide variety of perspectives, but (spoiler alert!) none of them regret remaining childfree.
Bumping the thread to share this recent Medium piece where 18 elder childfree women are asked, "There are many people who tell young childfree women that they will regret not having a child in their later years. What would you say to these critics?" It offers a wide variety of perspectives, but (spoiler alert!) none of them regret remaining childfree.
I loved this! I have never for a single second questioned my choice to remain childfree, and neither have the several other CFBC women i know. It was cool to hesr that echoed by all the women in this article.