Poll- Do you sleep in the same bed as your spouse/significa

[strawberry]

The post about things you wish were normalized got me wondering. Do you sleep in the same bed as your spouse/significant other?

[macmars45]

I voted other. We start out in the same bed but frequently H or I will end up on the couch due to snoring (we both snore). If one or both of us are sick we don't even attempt to sleep in the same bed. One of sleeps on the couch until we're both healthy. We don't have a guest bedroom so that's not an option.

[joy]

I do. We actually sleep in a queen, too. I really like him right there when we sleep.

I’m also the person who adored having my baby in the room with us and we regularly let her in bed with us now (she’s six), too.

I dunno. We like cuddling!

[shortstax]

We sleep in a Queen and like to spoon. He’s been in our basement bonus room this past week due to his covid, and it’s weirdly lonely in bed alone.

But give me a hotel on a work trip and I LOVE sleeping alone.

[sofamonkey]

Yes, but if we had a spare room I’d take it in a heartbeat and live like a queen.

[lilypad1126]

Yes. But I travel for work, a LOT, so lots of nights we don't even sleep in the same house. But if H has insomnia or is sick (or if I'm sick) he goes to the couch. He’s really considerate of my need for sleep.

[mccallister84]

So theoretically we do but we usually play musical beds with DD2 coming in to join me(king bed), moving to her bed (queen bed) and then DD1 joining him. It’s 50/50 if he’s even in bed when DD2 comes in.

[yourmother]

We do not sleep together and haven’t for about three years or more. He sleeps on a pull out sofa bed in our living room because of his sleep apnea. He’s getting a new Cpap machine soon, but I really don’t think he’ll move back to our bed. I sleep on a king all to myself and like it that way.

The looks I get when I say that make me feel awful. Like it’s shameful or something. Then I get into over-explaining. Ugh.

[mala]

Other. He works overnights so he's not home at night sometimes. A bad week he might sleep at home 2 nights and be gone 5, more typically it's 3 gone, 4 at home though. I'll sleep on the couch for a variety of reasons, though, I TRY to be in bed for good sleep habits. Reasons include a run of insomnia, dog has a UTI and needs to go out in the middle of the night, he's snoring (I know most of his triggers and can often predict if he's going to be bad), Little Kid is sick (the only way either of us will get sleep is if she sleeps with me and we usually sleep on the couch sitting up when she's sick), or I'm sick. Rarely if it's hot as balls in our room (no AC) and I sleep on the couch in the AC.

[expectantsteelerfan]

My dh works 1 week a month until 10 or 11 at night (and that shift often runs late), and that shift is always from home, and his home office is on the 3rd floor bedroom that has a bed and bathroom, so for that week he always sleeps upstairs so we both get better unbroken sleep (so I can go to bed earlier and he can sleep in later). I also sleep in the guest room if I'm sick and coughing so I don't keep him up (this happens at least a few times a year), and we'll sleep in those respective rooms any time one of our schedules is off enough that we'd wake each other up. But other than that, we sleep in the same room (in a king bed), so I picked other.

[penguingrrl]

We sleep in the same bed and like it that way. But we honestly wouldn’t have a lot of choice even if we wanted to sleep apart. We’ve never lived in a home with bedrooms to spare to separate. And he’s way too messy to allow to sleep on the couch (he would leave pillows and blankets and such everywhere and it would drive me nuts). I guess we could find a way to put two twin beds in our room but that would be tighter than our queen, and our room isn’t huge.

[bsp36]

Nope and I love it. Started out due to his snoring and my sleep walking. He has a cpap now and I still sleep walk occasionally but no going back! I love having my own room.

[Bernadine]

Yes, and for us, I enjoy it. I think he enjoys it more now that I have my CPAP, lol. No judgement for those who don’t!

[mpm]

Yes until about 3-4am and then inevitably one of the kids will have a nightmare or something and one of us will end up sleeping with a kid for the rest of the night.

[lostrn]

DH frequently sleeps on the couch in the basement. I would say 4-5 nights a week at least. Sometimes he moves upstairs half way through the night. We both stay up late but he stays up super late and he snores like a maniac and won't use his CPAP anymore so life is much better if he stays in the basement for the whole night and lets me sleep. If he's in bed with me I have to use ear plugs plus this eye mask thing that plays white noise through headphones. Still doesn't block the snoring but it helps.

[Bad Dingo]

Feb 25, 2023 20:03:12 GMT -5 yourmother said:

The looks I get when I say that make me feel awful. Like it’s shameful or something. Then I get into over-explaining. Ugh.

We've had separate rooms for years, but I've only told like 2 people IRL because people tend to get super judgey about it.

[chilerellanos]

Well, we don’t live together. And don’t really have a lot of overnight visits.

And he travels a lot. So when we are together, we definitely do.

But we seem to be pretty compatible sleepers.

(I did sleepwalk in a pretty obnoxious way the first time I slept over. We laugh about it now, but it was very disruptive. Lol)

[icedcoffee]

Yes in a king. I’d be equally happy with 2 twins a la I love Lucy . LOL

If one of us is sick or snoring he will go to the basement. I am the one to stay in bed.

[SusanBAnthony]

I want an option for "yes, but if he was ok with it I would do separate rooms" haha.

We don't disturb each other's sleep or anything, but I'd still rather starfish in my own bed. My h strongly prefers to sleep together. I don't feel strongly enough to push it.

[dcn]

Yes. He gets up early but I sleep through it most of the time. The kids never sleep with us which helps. If they were coming in we’d have to do musical beds bc we have a queen.

[niki]

Feb 25, 2023 20:26:10 GMT -5 Bad Dingo said:

Feb 25, 2023 20:03:12 GMT -5 yourmother said:

The looks I get when I say that make me feel awful. Like it’s shameful or something. Then I get into over-explaining. Ugh.

We've had separate rooms for years, but I've only told like 2 people IRL because people tend to get super judgey about it.

Same. I sleep on the couch most nights due to my insomnia and his snoring (maybe my own, too?), but I still feel like I am doing something wrong, so I don't tell anyone. We have a strong sexual relationship, but sleeping in the same bed and sex aren't even related for us.

[wildrice]

I put other, because it's probably 60% sleeping together and 40% apart, or maybe together a little more than that. We just upgraded to a king bed a few days ago so we are both hoping we'll be in the same room more, but last night he went to bed quite a while after I did so he slept in our spare room.

We are not nighttime cuddlers so it really makes no difference either way. I do get better sleep when we're in separate rooms but I'm not quite ready to make that a 100% of the time thing, if for no other reason than that we travel frequently enough that I don't want to be so used to sleeping alone that it's disruptive when we do share a bed. We do have 2 bedrooms and 2 perfectly nice beds so we can both have a good experience when sleeping apart.

[orangello]

I’m an “other”. Between his snoring, my travel schedule, pets, etc. later we are spending about 50% of our time separate.

I love it but the pets absolutely hate it 😂 they go between our rooms all night.

[Jalapeñomel]

Sometimes but more often than not, no

[tiki]

Yes we share a queen size bed, but I think we'd sleep better separately. Everything we like are opposites: he wants a firm bed with minimal pillows and blankets in a cool room. I want a soft bed where I can curl up in a giant nest of pillows, and I am frequently cold. Our current fix is a heated mattress pad that can be turned on for my side only, but truthfully I still sleep better on the couch.

[starburst604]

Currently yes, but in the past before his apnea was treated and the snoring was horrific, we slept in separate rooms for almost a year. I did think that people would think it was weird or we weren’t connected, but that really wasn’t the case. Sleep is important and I saw no reason to suffer when we had an empty guest room. I was near the point of being ready to smother him with a pillow. I have friends who have complained for years about spouses who don’t treat their snoring.

Whatever the reason, if a couple can’t get adequate sleep in the same bed or room, I don’t see why it’s an issue to sleep separately. I could honestly sleep separately for good but as long as the snoring is treated I’m fine sleeping together.

[rubytue]

Feb 25, 2023 20:26:10 GMT -5 Bad Dingo said:

Feb 25, 2023 20:03:12 GMT -5 yourmother said:

The looks I get when I say that make me feel awful. Like it’s shameful or something. Then I get into over-explaining. Ugh.

We've had separate rooms for years, but I've only told like 2 people IRL because people tend to get super judgey about it.

It’s been about 18 months, but same. I don’t mention it much. 

Honestly I’m not 100% ok with it. Maybe just 60%. I think because it happened without any discussions. He just moved into the guest room and that was that. But, it also aligned with a bunch of other marriage issues, so it’s hard to not feel they are related. 

[candreco]

We do sleep in the same bed, but have separate blankets which is absolutely necessary. Neither of us sleep as well in hotels or when visiting relatives where we have to share.

That said, we're rearranging rooms in the next few months and will have an actual guest bedroom across the hall from our room, and I expect that we'll each end up in there at times.

I know neither my parents nor my ILs sleep in the same rooms anymore.

[circa1978]

No. We stopped in early 2020 because we wanted to reduce the risk that both of us would get COVID and it was so awesome we never stopped. (He also still hasn't had COVID.) We have the extra room and he snores and I'm a really light sleeper. We still cuddle at night, he just leaves when he's ready to sleep.

[laurack]

We do but at least 25% of the time I fall asleep in one of my kids beds and I stay there all night.