TW: sexual assault and teens

[waverly]

Oct 8, 2024 21:07:36 GMT -5 erbear said:

Oct 8, 2024 19:57:04 GMT -5 RitzyHeifer said:

Thanks for all the feedback. I know I’ll miss something if I try to address everything. Please just know I’m as certain as I can be that my son hasn’t assaulted any one and I do trust but verify him on everything. He is in counseling and has been since he made the stupid choice to carry a thc vape for someone else that got him in huge trouble, also 2 years ago almost exactly the same time as the nudes were sent.

Are you trolling us? "Carrying a vape pen for someone else"? COME ON. You need to have a serious sit down with your son.

I carried a vape pen for someone else is the #1 excuse in the book.

OP, start following Officer Gomez. He’s worked with hundreds of phone and vape pen issues.

[donutsmakemegonuts]

Oct 9, 2024 6:56:44 GMT -5 waverly said:

Oct 9, 2024 6:24:14 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

The fuck?

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any worse. 

Not to mention the whole rest of her thread where she is breezy AF about the distribution of child pornography and none of the men getting in trouble but the girl has to switch schools.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how that anecdote was supposed to make us feel lol.  I don't think it is going over the way the OP planned.

[shauni27]

Oct 9, 2024 7:22:40 GMT -5 donutsmakemegonuts said:

Oct 9, 2024 6:56:44 GMT -5 waverly said:

Not to mention the whole rest of her thread where she is breezy AF about the distribution of child pornography and none of the men getting in trouble but the girl has to switch schools.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how that anecdote was supposed to make us feel lol.  I don't think it is going over the way the OP planned.

I have to assume it was to show how fucked up our culture is in that the boys and men who are now distributing child pornography are still just living their lives with no consequences while the young woman is the one who is being singled out and facing repercussions. But overall, weird post. "even good kids can have secret lives! Look at this terrible example!"

[wildrice]

Oct 9, 2024 7:49:36 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Oct 9, 2024 7:22:40 GMT -5 donutsmakemegonuts said:

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how that anecdote was supposed to make us feel lol.  I don't think it is going over the way the OP planned.

I have to assume it was to show how fucked up our culture is in that the boys and men who are now distributing child pornography are still just living their lives with no consequences while the young woman is the one who is being singled out and facing repercussions. But overall, weird post. "even good kids can have secret lives! Look at this terrible example!"

This is how I read it - just like in OP's story, the girls are the ones assumed to be the problem and have to live with the consequences while the boys just carry on.

[wanderingback]

Oct 9, 2024 7:49:36 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Oct 9, 2024 7:22:40 GMT -5 donutsmakemegonuts said:

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how that anecdote was supposed to make us feel lol.  I don't think it is going over the way the OP planned.

I have to assume it was to show how fucked up our culture is in that the boys and men who are now distributing child pornography are still just living their lives with no consequences while the young woman is the one who is being singled out and facing repercussions. But overall, weird post. "even good kids can have secret lives! Look at this terrible example!"

Ok to clarify she said the freshmen boy shared/distributed the picture and not the men/adults. Her post was fucked up but let’s not go making it worse lol.

[wanderingback]

And where is DickMove with her wit and charm for this post?!

[cville]

I regret my participation in this thread.

On the upside, I was inspired to have another frank discussion with my daughter about burner phones, photos of all kinds, bullying, and social media. And now we have an ongoing joke about how she needs to charge up her burner phone so she can post on her finsta about how lame I am.

[shauni27]

Oct 9, 2024 9:09:45 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Oct 9, 2024 7:49:36 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I have to assume it was to show how fucked up our culture is in that the boys and men who are now distributing child pornography are still just living their lives with no consequences while the young woman is the one who is being singled out and facing repercussions. But overall, weird post. "even good kids can have secret lives! Look at this terrible example!"

Ok to clarify she said the freshmen boy shared/distributed the picture and not the men/adults. Her post was fucked up but let’s not go making it worse lol.

I missed that, so thank you! 

[brooke77]

Oct 8, 2024 15:17:26 GMT -5 donutsmakemegonuts said:

I'm still stuck on how someone receiving unsolicited nudes from a girl that they barely know has resulted in a rape allegation about various boys who also aren't friends. I'm guessing there is more to it than what is vaguely being discussed here due to respecting privacy, but it seems strange to me. I hope OP gets a resolution of some sort.

All I can guess is that the Mom calling Steve a rapist is grouping him with these older boys who seem to have sexual contact or interactions with younger girls. She’s using it more in the statutory rape meaning because 14 year olds (or 15 year olds, depending on your state) can’t consent and I think Steve and friends are 16/17. I have no opinion on Steve’s involvement in any of this, but I agree and hope OP gets a resolution.

[Eagles]

What is happening in this place on this day.

[wanderingback]

I can’t get over that a mom is assessing other teen girls about who is going to be a stripper. Wtf. I work with lots of teen girls and this thought has never crossed my mind.

For the record, I am not judging strippers or sex workers at all, but we all know what Jen meant by that statement.

[Eagles]

Oct 9, 2024 12:21:48 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I can’t get over that a mom is assessing other teen girls about who is going to be a stripper. Wtf. I work with lots of teen girls and this thought has never crossed my mind.

For the record, I am not judging strippers or sex workers at all, but we all know what Jen meant by that statement.

I mean, that's been her vibe since I first posted here over 10 years ago so...unsurprising.

[Aloe Vera]

RitzyHeifer I think it's time you realize your son has been fooling you for a while now. Carrying a vape pen for someone else? Are you THAT naive?! Who knows what else he has been doing since he's been flying under your radar for a few years now.

[maudefindlay]

Not to pile on, but as others have mentioned in changing your mindset and looking at this more eyes wide open, I'd phrase it as girls have accused boys instead of the girls targeted them. You have not shared any info to suggest the girls are picking on these boys, you do know they have accused them multiple times.

[shauni27]

Oct 9, 2024 12:21:48 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I can’t get over that a mom is assessing other teen girls about who is going to be a stripper. Wtf. I work with lots of teen girls and this thought has never crossed my mind.

For the record, I am not judging strippers or sex workers at all, but we all know what Jen meant by that statement.

wait, I am SO DUMB.


When I read that someone would "end up on a pole" I literally did not know what that meant, lol. I was thinking like up the flagpole a la all 80s movies where a nerd gets tied to the school flagpole. 

This is much, much worse.

[shauni27]

Oct 9, 2024 12:49:02 GMT -5 Aloe Vera said:

RitzyHeifer I think it's time you realize your son has been fooling you for a while now. Carrying a vape pen for someone else? Are you THAT naive?! Who knows what else he has been doing since he's been flying under your radar for a few years now.

I mean, I guess he COULD have been the only teenager on the planet willing to carry someone else's vape pen but not be using it themselves...

[thejen626]

All - I couldn’t fall asleep last night and took an edible to help me… apparently reading this thread set me off and I probably shouldn’t have replied at all.

I’m very sorry for my verbiage about the girl becoming a stripper. It was inappropriate and I shouldn’t have said it.

For the record, I shared the story about the teen girl and the football team, of course I am pissed off about it, I have a daughter the same age as the victim in this case. It certainly wasn’t “breezy” as someone commented. I’m appalled that it happened and horrified that none of the boys (or men) got into any trouble, yet this poor girl had to change schools. It’s awful.

Again, I’m sorry.

[marie]

Oct 9, 2024 13:40:58 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Oct 9, 2024 12:21:48 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I can’t get over that a mom is assessing other teen girls about who is going to be a stripper. Wtf. I work with lots of teen girls and this thought has never crossed my mind.

For the record, I am not judging strippers or sex workers at all, but we all know what Jen meant by that statement.

wait, I am SO DUMB.


When I read that someone would "end up on a pole" I literally did not know what that meant, lol. I was thinking like up the flagpole a la all 80s movies where a nerd gets tied to the school flagpole. 

This is much, much worse.

You are not alone 😆

Really though, my mind wasn’t ever going in that direction

[Eagles]

Look, "carried a thc pen for someone else" is the 2020s version of my friend telling her mom those were my cigarettes I left in her car. I didn't even smoke that brand in high school. Her mom bought it because she was one of the sweetest but most naive moms ever.

Pretty sure she still believes it 30 years later.

[bugandbibs]

My brain hurts.

I spend all day with 800 middle schoolers, and my own kids are 10-21. My kids are really good kids overall, but they have all done stuff that seems out of character for a variety of reasons. Open dialogue and trusting your kids is the goal, we want them to develop critical thinking and good decision making skills. There are so many red flags here about the situation. I'm not messing around with potential legal issues. If I really thought my kid was innocent of everything, he wouldn't be allowed around this group at all. Guilt by association can have major consequences for his future. Or he ends up doing something because he's hanging out with a group that is clearly problematic.

[jlt19]

Oct 9, 2024 15:30:54 GMT -5 Eagles said:

Look, "carried a thc pen for someone else" is the 2020s version of my friend telling her mom those were my cigarettes I left in her car. I didn't even smoke that brand in high school. Her mom bought it because she was one of the sweetest but most naive moms ever.

Pretty sure she still believes it 30 years later.

Last week I was talking to my dad about HS dances and parties (DD’s Homecoming was that weekend). I mentioned how he went out of town for one dance I had a “pre-party” because I recently saw some pictures. He was legit shocked and middle named me, lol.

[wanderingback]

Oct 11, 2024 17:34:24 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Oct 9, 2024 15:30:54 GMT -5 Eagles said:

Look, "carried a thc pen for someone else" is the 2020s version of my friend telling her mom those were my cigarettes I left in her car. I didn't even smoke that brand in high school. Her mom bought it because she was one of the sweetest but most naive moms ever.

Pretty sure she still believes it 30 years later.

Last week I was talking to my dad about HS dances and parties (DD’s Homecoming was that weekend). I mentioned how he went out of town for one dance I had a “pre-party” because I recently saw some pictures. He was legit shocked and middle named me, lol.

Yeah my parents would def be shocked about the things I did in high school. And I know they never knew cause I def would’ve gotten in trouble. When I was a senior in high school I thought I’d "confess" when I was old but still haven’t lol. Thank goodness there was no way to track my location back then.

I honestly am not sure if I’d want my daughter telling me EVERYTHING. Of course, if she was ever in a dangerous situation and needed help I want her to be able to turn to me but some things just help us learn and mature by figuring out ourselves!

[starburst604]

Oct 11, 2024 20:27:36 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Oct 11, 2024 17:34:24 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Last week I was talking to my dad about HS dances and parties (DD’s Homecoming was that weekend). I mentioned how he went out of town for one dance I had a “pre-party” because I recently saw some pictures. He was legit shocked and middle named me, lol.

Yeah my parents would def be shocked about the things I did in high school. And I know they never knew cause I def would’ve gotten in trouble. When I was a senior in high school I thought I’d "confess" when I was old but still haven’t lol. Thank goodness there was no way to track my location back then.

I honestly am not sure if I’d want my daughter telling me EVERYTHING. Of course, if she was ever in a dangerous situation and needed help I want her to be able to turn to me but some things just help us learn and mature by figuring out ourselves!

I remember when my friend got caught taking her mom’s car before she had her license. My mom was going on and on about how she couldn’t believe she’d done that, how stupid it was and thank god I was smarter than that. Yeahhhh, a few days earlier I was riding shotgun with the friend another time she’d taken the car. I ended up telling my mom years later and she was like JESUS CHRIST MELISSA!!

[bittybomb]

Oct 12, 2024 12:37:24 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Oct 11, 2024 20:27:36 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yeah my parents would def be shocked about the things I did in high school. And I know they never knew cause I def would’ve gotten in trouble. When I was a senior in high school I thought I’d "confess" when I was old but still haven’t lol. Thank goodness there was no way to track my location back then.

I honestly am not sure if I’d want my daughter telling me EVERYTHING. Of course, if she was ever in a dangerous situation and needed help I want her to be able to turn to me but some things just help us learn and mature by figuring out ourselves!

I remember when my friend got caught taking her mom’s car before she had her license. My mom was going on and on about how she couldn’t believe she’d done that, how stupid it was and thank god I was smarter than that. Yeahhhh, a few days earlier I was riding shotgun with the friend another time she’d taken the car. I ended up telling my mom years later and she was like JESUS CHRIST MELISSA!!

My friend would take his dad’s car from the railroad commuter lot every day and return it before his train back home. I once asked if his dad never noticed it was generally in a different spot and he was like no, he just thinks his memory is going. The poor dad. I wonder if he ever found out. lol.

[Eagles]

Oct 11, 2024 17:34:24 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Oct 9, 2024 15:30:54 GMT -5 Eagles said:

Look, "carried a thc pen for someone else" is the 2020s version of my friend telling her mom those were my cigarettes I left in her car. I didn't even smoke that brand in high school. Her mom bought it because she was one of the sweetest but most naive moms ever.

Pretty sure she still believes it 30 years later.

Last week I was talking to my dad about HS dances and parties (DD’s Homecoming was that weekend). I mentioned how he went out of town for one dance I had a “pre-party” because I recently saw some pictures. He was legit shocked and middle named me, lol.

Not the middle name! 🤣🤣

[livinitup]

I was allowed to drive my dad’s car to practice because my sport practiced at a different school. But I was expected to take the bus to school and back home and then drive to practice. I did that ONE time and then thought it was stupid to take the bus when I had access to a perfectly good car.

My grandmother narc’ed on me so my mother asked why the car was gone from the driveway all day. I straight up told her a lie. I said I drove it to the bus stop. She asked follow-up questions and I didn’t crack. According to teenage me, I drove it three blocks (because it was cold standing at the bus stop), got out, got on the school bus, came home on the bus, and drove to practice.

I don’t know if she actually believed me, but she let it slide. And I drove to school for the rest of the season. I will NEVER voluntarily admit to her that I lied so boldly.

[RitzyHeifer]

Not to dredge this up again, just popping in to say I realize how naive I sound here but I’m leaving some things out for brevity and privacy. And a few things just seem to be mixed up in here. Regardless, I appreciate you all giving feedback and being willing to be straightforward and honest with me.

[jorja]

Oct 11, 2024 17:34:24 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Oct 9, 2024 15:30:54 GMT -5 Eagles said:

Look, "carried a thc pen for someone else" is the 2020s version of my friend telling her mom those were my cigarettes I left in her car. I didn't even smoke that brand in high school. Her mom bought it because she was one of the sweetest but most naive moms ever.

Pretty sure she still believes it 30 years later.

Last week I was talking to my dad about HS dances and parties (DD’s Homecoming was that weekend). I mentioned how he went out of town for one dance I had a “pre-party” because I recently saw some pictures. He was legit shocked and middle named me, lol.

My high school best friend and I both ended up back in my hometown the summer after college and spent a lot of time at my mom’s house, drinking wine with her. I’d always thought my parents kind of had a “don’t do anything too stupid, and we won’t try too hard to catch you” policy and that they generally knew what was up.

Turns out she had no idea and was varying degrees of appalled by our high jinxs.