It's his family, even if extended, and after 23 years - they are yours too. Unless financials or other issues are prevelant, I would buy all expected and send it to them. At the very least, a gift or gift card off their registry.
I disagree - a present from someone who doesn’t know them is no where near as meaningful as one from a sibling.
Your husband should be the one to send them something, you can sign onto the card as well but it really should come from him. A shower invite doesn’t control the core relationship here - which is between the men. So that is who should send *and*!br the recipient of the gift. I’d probably check in with DH and offer to get a childhood book that has meaning to him (since I’m the big children’s book buyer in the family - and if he didn’t have an answer, I’d remind him of favorites he read to our kids) but it’s his loved one and any real meaning would come through him.
the washer is set up to drain into the utility sink. 🤷
this is how both the washer and sishwasher (hose goes through a hole in the wall) were set up by the original owners of our home. It will take a full kitchen remodel as well as a lot more to fix. Blarg.
In my town l, this would probably reach town hall and be declared a public nuisance. So a letter to the HOA seems fairly mild in comparison. Lol. I would t have to do *anything * because someone would have been on it. And written up a whole report about how it was interfering with the nesting and migratory patterns of this or that local or endangered bird, some one else would have called the cops every night and the town hall would be up in arms I’d be sitting over here amused at the brouhaha.
Doesn’t the 22nd amendment go against trumpers already? If you truly believe he won the vote and was elected president in 2020, then he isn’t even eligible this year.
I've never attempted a lamb mold, shaped cakes are always 50/50 on if they stick for me.
this is why my big holiday standby is pavlova. Christmas gets a wreath shape (with cherries, mint and raspberries). Easter gets an egg shape with decorated with 4 ish rows of fruit in different colors. (berries/mango/kiwi/whatever). easy but pretty. My favorite combo
Spent half of last night in the ER with DH. His heart was skipping every 4th beat and did that for about 24 hours. Got home by 3 but I'm a little wrecked today and he's insisting it's all normal again. la la la.
Here's my general rule of party planning that has stood me well in my professional and personal party planning. If someone hasn't responded to me within 12ish hours of the invite, they're not coming. Even if they respond later that they are, they won't show up because something else happens blah blah blah.
Interesting.
I have found the opposite for my invitations. The fastest responses are often knee jerk "sounds fun." People haven't really checked their calendars or think of it as a firm commitment. Most my cancellations come from that group ("I hadn't realized that DS has a tournament that weekend" etc.).
It's all about knowing your audience and it sounds like you know yours
that you are treating as an emergency/priority situation needing an immediate response (even though the main cause of delay here isn't them - it's your last minute, back up invite)
solely to make a stranger more comfortable than the people you supposedly care about enough to invite.
If you are looking at behavior patterns, consider both sides.
My youngest went for a hair it with dad and came back with that look. Lol. Apparently that is exactly what they had wanted. Usually I go and they come out looking like photo #2.
Luckily, within a week of normal washing and brushing the effect was gone.
Years ago, my husband spent a week learning to scuba dive in roatan. He had a great experience but said it had more mosquitos than anywhere else he’s ever been.
Probably not the right answer for you, but we found suave clarifying shampoo to be the most effective after swim shampoo for my kid. We tried a lot of fancier ones but that worked best for improving her hair texture and health during swim season.
Lots of great advice and support. I do want to caution about other people you may know. They may not be as supportive or helpful as you would expect. That is on them and not you or your child. We are trying to navigate the process with a distant relative. While I try to remember the new name and correct pronouns I do fumble. I apologize and let them know I still am trying to remember. They seem to be more comfortable when I acknowledge my mistake.
practice works for distant relatives, too retell their relationship and family narrative to yourself with the correct name/ pronouns. ‘That is Fred. His mother is my cousin. He has 2 sisters. Fred wax born in Fresno. His oldest sister is wilma. Fred plays soccer….’
My confession - I just figured out this Sunday is Easter -because of this thread. I had been looking forward to a calm day after weeks of craziness. Even our Saturday is busy. Now I see why MIL said she’s looking forward to seeing us for Waster. I had better start buying that dinner. Lol.
And now I need to know what colors show up on brown eggs. Because that is what I bought a dozen of today. 🤪
One thing you mention is your fear your child won’t ‘pass.’
’Passing’ isn’t central for everyone. For many people, living a personal truth is more important. That also doesn’t mean anyone wants people going around clocking them or making an issue of it.
As a side note: I see you using ‘they/them’ here. Is that how your child now identifies? Or she/her? Practice using the correct pronouns here. We will too. practice thr new name while looking at photos, change it in your phone, etc. I retold myself memories using the new name and pronouns. practice makes all the difference on these things
I recommend looking for a support group - in person or online, for other parents. I know we have had a lot of recommendations for PFLAG in here and my only caution is to look for something specifically for parents of transgender kids, particularly adult children. There is enough to process without navigating the transphobia of some ‘Allies’ and you are facing a very different situation from someone whose child transitions while in their care (not harder or easier - just very different than a grade or middle schooler).
In terms of feeling like it came out of the blue: you are not alone. I know people who were surprised by kids (or spouses) of every age. It doesn’t mean you don’t or didn’t know your child.
A year from now, all that is new about this will feel normal. Like any change, it takes time to settle in.
I haven’t seen it, but it came out in a time when there was a lot of problematic humor based around the idea ‘I’m not racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic. offensive, I’m making fun of people and things that are offensive. Don’t you get the joke?’
That was some Andy Kaufman level shit. Dropping ‘hill to die on’ into your original post. Taking an adamant stance for incivillity specifically in customer service. And then coming back with the explosive account deletion.
Brava! Simple, elegant and efficient.
And for the rest of you:
It will always be ‘Joanns’ (I can’t even find the website the ‘s’ is so firmly attached in my mind)
Never have or will. At most I'd go onto the attached balcony/patio if there is one.
I've done this. That was the whole reason for getting a room with a patio/balcony was to have somewhere not the room we could be while the child was sleeping in the adjoining room.
My 13 year old has gone to the movies with friends . But she also has a different friend group that expects an adult and then I go. So it depends a bit on the kids.
One thing to consider is assign her a dinner night each week. I plan to start doing that with my kids. It's her job to plan, shop (or at least list) ingredients and prepare the meal. I have a friend whose family did this starting in high school and it was a good system.
I do think it's ridiculous that some states apply different standards on the basis of whether or not you have children.
But to not even give the option of divorce because you have a parasite is insane. It's not an extreme reach in post dobbs to think having frozen embryos might be justification to prevent divorce or, hell, even get medical care. A lot of what we thought would never happen in our lifetime, being so modern unlike our nanas, had already happened.
and I believe, the mother’s husband is legally presumed to be the child’s father until that presumption is rebutted in court. Even if mom lists a different person on the birth certificate. So birth within wedlock v after dissolution has big consequences (I don’t know if that is actually true in Missouri, but it is true in some “places)
They only have the green in my size. Would that still be appropriate or try to have the black altered?
Do you like the green? Personally, I love wearing green/dark teal/blues, so I'd happily wear it.
And I'd preorder a sparkling wine split for the intermission (you pay at the bar before the show and they'll have it set aside for you - at least most theaters will do that and the Met did way back 15 years ago when I went
Does he collect the kids from your house? If so, I’d pack a box at a time of whatever I most wanted gone that week and hand off what I have ready each time he shows. I wouldn’t want to pack and store for fear it would never leave that storage.