I know it's a little early to start Thursday, but I'm pissed.
Big kid was completely iced out by her friend group this fall. No reason was given but we know the instigator (the others have told her privately that Miss Queen Bee is adamant about DD not being included).
Guess whose mom is using her professional organization to "like" multiple transphobic comments on Facebook? We knew the mom had a thing against our family and now we see why.
(A home health aide organization, no less. So guess who took screenshot receipts and sent them to our local LGBTQ org to make sure they aren't sending their elderly trans clients to that org for care.)
ETA: and now a second of those moms, a child psychiatrist, is joining her. This one made this whole stink during the summer about how we had to watch out for all our kids. I guess "our" kids doesn't actually include my kids. Just hers.
Our bulletin board is pretty big about 17ft by 36inches so I can do a couple trees. I am just buying rolls of paper and they seem to be about 48 X 12
I would do 3 rolls per tree trunk with the idea that two rolls would start at the bottom (layered and crumpled together and stuffed with newspaper if needed for a for a foot wide bas relief trunk), then you have over a foot to twirl/crumple into that third roll which provides most of your branches.
Also, it sort of makes me sad that a 5th grader needs a tutor…so much pressure at such a young age.
Honestly, my 4th grader does. It's just that my husband and I do it instead. Math games. Math drills. worksheets. A little something every day, all year round, to try and fall behind a little more slowly. It isn't a pressure thing. At these young ages they are learning basics and if you miss it, then you completely fall off track.
My kid just can't get their multiplication tables and is still iffy on addition. We have been working on this for the past three years (first the addition, now both). They finish worksheets at school by just adding in the margins of the paper to get a solution. (x + x is y. and y + y is z. and z + z is Q. So x times 8 is Q.) You are never going to do mulit-digit multiplication nor long division that way.
And this isn't the only gap. Luckily they have always been very verbal and *can* read at a 6th grade level. But like Dot's child, only chooses to read 1st/2nd grade graphic novels. But with all the time we are putting in on everything else I'm hoping they can make it through the year without extra reading help.
Tonight: salmon with herb butter (Costco), rice and side salad of cucumber, avocado tomato. Tomorrow: Chicken in lettuce cups, I think. I picked up something from Costco that I think will work for this and some butter lettuce) Wed: maybe "antipasto pasta" (I cook up an impromptu sauce of Italian chicken sausages with artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, olives, capers, white wine, tapenade, pesto, tomatoes, whatever I have on hand that is like that. It's never the same twice). Thursday on: who knows.
But plenty of people have explained why they’d find it intrusive or insensitive, so to dismiss those reactions as “I just can’t imagine a different reaction than I would have” is being deliberately obtuse.
And frankly they are exactly why some of us *wouldn't* love this text.
Because if we said "I'm sorry, that isn't going to work for me" we know this is exactly how it would be received.
If I can't shut down every Tuesday at 5 to call grandma on your schedule, then clearly I'm an awful bitch who doesn't even care that she's alive. Not someone who already knows poor grandma would be sitting sad waiting by the phone for an hour because play practice is running an hour late this week, and last week the car transmission died.
(I speak from experience. MIL has a weekly scheduled half hour call from BIL. She plans around it. She won't even answer the phone for other calls within an hour of that time. We tried a weekly phone check in from DH but it really didn't work. Life gets in the way. Instead, we go down (an hour drive each way) for a few hours at a time every weekend we can. Some months that is once, some months its four times. We bring our full attention, food and games and cheer.)
Some people love a rigid schedule and might be thrilled to get a text like that. Some of us already have more weekly obligations than we want and would internally bristle. I am not interested in adding yet another, fixed, on going commitment I have to schedule around. Even if I call on average once a week, making it a fixed prescheduled commitment vastly increases the hassle involved. That isn't how I show love and would just lead to resentment.
An open ended invitation to reach out in which you say *you* plan to call every Monday/Wednesday/whatever, would feel different. It gives room for so many possible ways to bring grandma joy.
(Side note: It's probably worth going in to get fully tested. Chalmydia is the problem he knew he had *and* told others about. It might not be the only thing - he might not know yet. OR, given the lying liar he is, he may not have told people everything.)
Macie did get tested for everything. And only turned up chlamydia.
I actually haven’t been with him since the end of June, since we broke up, and then I had two more travel trips. And the last time I saw him, we didn’t actually sleep together. Then I got blocked.
I will get a full panel done when I go in for a retest. But I feel pretty ok about it.
That makes sense. You know what is right in your situation.
I just thought I'd throw it out there since he's a lying prick.
(Side note: It's probably worth going in to get fully tested. Chalmydia is the problem he knew he had *and* told others about. It might not be the only thing - he might not know yet. OR, given the lying liar he is, he may not have told people everything.)
What are her specific challenges? Right now, we are still at the "lots of reminding" for some stuff. But other things that help:
1) Extra time matters for chores/daily life just as much as for a test. We pushed back our wake up time by 45 minutes and incentivize timely preparation. (If you get ready earlier than needed, you can watch cartoons in Spanish while you wait.) It feels like a ridiculous amount of time to get ready - and to a certain extent she'll just take as long as she has - but trying to be efficient in the mornings was just a repeated failure of late starts and forgotten lunches.
2) Giving her full responsibility for a task, not helping or shared responsibilities: While she may flounder or miss things on her own, it just gets worse if she gets help. When someone else does part of a task or shares a responsibility, she often doesn't do her part until last or overly relies on that help. When things are entirely her responsibility, she is more likely to complete it all (in her own way, and not always as timely as I would like). For example, when she shared guinea pig duties with her sibling, it was constant reminders that it was her day, she needed to do y and z, not just x blah, blah, blah. Now that it's her task alone, she is more reliable. She knows that if they need food, she needs to feed them, etc.
3) Verbally acknowledging what/when she is doing something right. Since tweens can get so negative about themselves and push back so often, I try to list what went right. It makes her less defensive and argumentative about finishing still outstanding tasks.
Nothing as formal as this but he’s a had a lot of controversy around how he talks about women’s in the past and reports about how he treats women on staff. Dannii Minogue has also talked about what a creep he was quite a bit
Interesting how (according to that article) two of the people supporting him during this are Elon Musk and Alex Jones. Not exactly the most credible people to lean on when you're being accused of doing something awful!
He has always seemed like the type who would do shitty things to women, so I'm not surprised about this at all.
Up next: Rousing defenses from Trump, Prince Andrew, and Woody Allen.
The dealerships are pushing leasing because that’s best for them. In addition to being worse financially, leasing comes with rules, just like any other rental. If you drive too many miles during your lease or do other things, you can incur additional fees. Leasing is the perfect answer for someone who wants/needs the car now but expects a large financial windfall in the future and is willing to pay extra overall to get it today. A medical resident who doesn’t want to wait until they graduate to get the car they want , for example
I ran a Girl Scout troop for my kid. Last year was a pain, but I stuck with it because my kid likes to see the others (doesn't care about scouts) and my co-leader's kid was ALL in. To the point they really wanted to step things up a level this year (while I'd be fine closing shop). So I ramp up recruiting, do a bunch of leg work, we rearranged the meeting dates to suit that family, blah blah blah. Then a few hours before our fall kick off meeting they pull out of the troop.
Blarg.
Three weeks ago I would have felt relieved to just move on. Even 48 hours notice would have made a huge difference since I could find someone else to help today.
That person would have to have a world class poker face.
They say to therapists: "Imagine your worst client. What would they need to pay to make it worth your time to treat them? Now set your rates accordingly."
Ted Cruz's therapist must change a literal small fortune.
My once pleasant half mile walk to school with just DS (6) has now been replaced with an annoying battle between him and DD (4) about who gets to walk in front, who is going too fast/too slow, who can hold my hand, etc. A week into the school year and I'm so over it.
Ugh.
One idea that helps my kids when they squabble over something and have fixed preferences: figure out the preferred thing (in front, holding hands). separate the options (one holds hands while the other goes first). also switch off (one kid holds hands odd days, the other on even days.) It doesn't work for things with amorphous preferences (one kid wants this today, that tomorrow, etc)
DD gets her braces on tomorrow. Does it hurt them right away? I should probably have some soft foods on hand?
Yes. It hurts right away. Have something like Advil on hand for the first 48 hours. And they will cut the skin in her mouth. They will give her wax, but for both me and my daughter, that wasn't useful (it tastes funny, dries your mouth out and doesn't really stay put). The brackets are also super sensitive to popping off during those first few days. Even things like pizza can be enough pressure to knock them off. Think of foods like soup, ice cream, etc.
No one wants a guy to draw them wearing a necklace...only a necklace?
That always looked really cold to me and I would get so bored and fidgety. Plus being stared at so long would make my skin crawl.
The renovations montage (and magically affording it all) would be pretty sweet.
I'll settle for solo driving the northern parts of highway 1 or pretty much any route between Muir Woods/stinson/bolinas/olema at golden hour (which suits me better than Malibu anyway - an empty twisting road, redwoods/ocean and that perfect light). I do it at least few times a year, sometimes just to go out where we scattered my dad's ashes and think a bit.
If I could have magic, I'd love to jump back and forth through time "About Time" style. I've always thought I would appreciate motherhood more if I could occasionally pause a day in the baby years to jump to a random chill day of later adulthood and step out of quiet times to relive exhausting but precious in their own way days with the little ones.
Something that helps me get my shoulders back: pretend you are doing snow angels while standing up. after about 10, my body is more ready to straighten up than if I just try to push the back from slumped over.
ffs. She got the first step right (stepping back) and now needs to take the second step down.
A follow on problem for all this: instead of someone coming up in a timely way with planning, it all comes down to a mad scramble after incapacitation or death. Just another way it erodes the institution.
I'm really curious what the impact is going to be on the playa from all of those ruts. Will the dry wind slowly flatten them back out, or will people 50 years from now see the deep ruts from idiots who didn't listen when they were told to stay put?
I'm not worried about ruts. It becomes a lake bed during the rainy season before drying out flat for summer. That should work away at the ruts over time. The huge amounts of trash embedded in the playa is a different matter.
As an old, I’m fascinated by not having any way to iron.
I only use my iron for Girl Scout patches. Otherwise: if it needs ironing, it needs a different owner or a dry cleaner. We send DH's work shirts out to be laundered.