50% of marriages fail and of the 50% that remain 25% of them are unhappy marriages
Having to hire a lawyer and having to pay possibly thousands of dollars for a divorce
Taxes
And I just don't like the idea of the courts being so involved my relationship...but I guess I would have to deal with the courts anyway if we get that health proxy thing...
Your relationship will either fail or succeed, whether you get a marriage license or a health care proxy won't make a difference in how happy you are as a couple.
To have any sort of legal protection you will need to hire a lawyer. I only hired a lawyer for a total of 30 min for my divorce. Cost about 100 dollars.
50% of marriages fail and of the 50% that remain 25% of them are unhappy marriages
Having to hire a lawyer and having to pay possibly thousands of dollars for a divorce
Taxes
And I just don't like the idea of the courts being so involved my relationship...but I guess I would have to deal with the courts anyway if we get that health proxy thing...
Your relationship will either fail or succeed, whether you get a marriage license or a health care proxy won't make a difference in how happy you are as a couple.
To have any sort of legal protection you will need to hire a lawyer. I only hired a lawyer for a total of 30 min for my divorce. Cost about 100 dollars.
It's less than 50% now. That's an old statistic. You're welcome.
Source please?
According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America: The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41% The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60% The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America: The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41% The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60% The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
50% of marriages fail and of the 50% that remain 25% of them are unhappy marriages We already established that this is an old stat. And if you want to throw out this stat find one that shows a ltr has better odds to support your point.
Having to hire a lawyer and having to pay possibly thousands of dollars for a divorce With all the lawyer hours to draw up paperwork to ensure some of the benefits you DO want, you will pay thousands of dollars to get those benefits -- and that's before you potentially break up and have to undo all of those agreements.
Taxes My taxes were less when I filed married/joint than when I filed single. Unless you have a big difference in your earnings or you currently file head of household (which I am guessing you do not because you have no dependent), your tax liability will likely go down when you are married.
And I just don't like the idea of the courts being so involved my relationship...but I guess I would have to deal with the courts anyway if we get that health proxy thing... In your scenario of a ltr and finding ways to ensure certain legal benefits, I think the courts will be more involved in your relationship than if you got married.
I do understand being fearful of getting married again after a messy divorce. My divorce was pretty clean, and I am still scared of the idea sometimes. Fi and I have talked about it and we talk through all the things that scare me. Combining finances was one for me. So we came up with a joint/separate combo solution that we are both comfortable with.
We will also have all of the things we want protected outlined in a prenup. That eases my mind a bit as well.
I also think you need to finish reading the book. If you don't already know how it ends, you may be surprised.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I can't help but notice that you seem to be a little bit all over the place lately. And, if I remember correctly, you were planning to take a good amount of time to yourself before dating again, but then got swept off of your feet. I'm not judging that; it happens. But instead of reading a self-help book written a (lousy) novelist who doesn't have any sort of background in counseling, maybe get a book written by a professional, or actually go to a therapist who will help you sort through these thoughts.
50% of marriages fail and of the 50% that remain 25% of them are unhappy marriages We already established that this is an old stat. And if you want to throw out this stat find one that shows a ltr has better odds to support your point.
Having to hire a lawyer and having to pay possibly thousands of dollars for a divorce With all the lawyer hours to draw up paperwork to ensure some of the benefits you DO want, you will pay thousands of dollars to get those benefits -- and that's before you potentially break up and have to undo all of those agreements.
Taxes My taxes were less when I filed married/joint than when I filed single. Unless you have a big difference in your earnings or you currently file head of household (which I am guessing you do not because you have no dependent), your tax liability will likely go down when you are married.
And I just don't like the idea of the courts being so involved my relationship...but I guess I would have to deal with the courts anyway if we get that health proxy thing... In your scenario of a ltr and finding ways to ensure certain legal benefits, I think the courts will be more involved in your relationship than if you got married.
I do understand being fearful of getting married again after a messy divorce. My divorce was pretty clean, and I am still scared of the idea sometimes. Fi and I have talked about it and we talk through all the things that scare me. Combining finances was one for me. So we came up with a joint/separate combo solution that we are both comfortable with.
We will also have all of the things we want protected outlined in a prenup. That eases my mind a bit as well.
I also think you need to finish reading the book. If you don't already know how it ends, you may be surprised.
41% is not that far off from 50%...
I don't know how the book ends, but I'm guessing they get married...
I think the prenup idea is something that is reassuring me a bit
Sounds like an easy out to me, so that if it fails one or the other can't get taken to the bank due to antiquated unfair family laws that are in place right now. The only reason I see for a "committed" unmarried relationship is for an easy break. I'm in the middle with that because I am very against the old unfair family laws in place right now so I can really see both sides. Its a tough one.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I can't help but notice that you seem to be a little bit all over the place lately. And, if I remember correctly, you were planning to take a good amount of time to yourself before dating again, but then got swept off of your feet. I'm not judging that; it happens. But instead of reading a self-help book written a (lousy) novelist who doesn't have any sort of background in counseling, maybe get a book written by a professional, or actually go to a therapist who will help you sort through these thoughts.[/quote]
Not a bad idea...and you didn't sound like an asshole
OP - the more you talk the more you're sounding like a whack-a-do. Nothing you're saying makes sense. You want all of the legal benefits of being married without being legally married. To get said benefits, you will have to hire a lawyer. To dissolve said benefits if your relationship ends, you will also most likely need a lawyer.
So it all boils down to not wanting to pay higher taxes??? Because that's the only clear "non-benefit of marriage" that you seem to be implying about.
OP - the more you talk the more you're sounding like a whack-a-do. Nothing you're saying makes sense. You want all of the legal benefits of being married withouth being legally married. To get said benefits, you will have to hire a lawyer. To dissolve said benefits if your relationship ends, you will also most likely need a lawyer.
So it all boils down to not wanting to pay higher taxes??? Because that's the only clear "non-benefit of marriage" that you seem to be implying about.
Didn't mean to come off that way...but I'll admit I should do more research on the pros and cons of marriage and commitment ceremonies...like I've already said several times already...I'm just throwing the thought out there...a commitment ceremony is not something I have set in stone to do...I appreciate everyone's honest input
You mentioned in another post that you and Mars had discussed your feelings on marriage this weekend. How'd that go?
He said he could understand where I was coming from about just having a LT committed relationship without marriage...he said he has seen ALOT of failed marriages himself and it really bothers him too...his parents are still married though