Post by mrsukyankee on Oct 16, 2015 10:09:31 GMT -5
If a guy asks me out, then they should pay. If I ask them out, then I'll pay. In a show like this where neither asked the other out, then I'd offer to pay half.
Yeah OK!!! All you bitches are bourgeoisie as hell!!
Who? Not me.
^o) May I remind you of the fancy suite you stayed at in the ATL? How about you renting some kick ass Cabin every year for Thanksgiving. Just accept it, there is a reason we all hang together.
May I remind you of the fancy suite you stayed at in the ATL? How about you renting some kick ass Cabin every year for Thanksgiving. Just accept it, there is a reason we all hang together.
i am just wondering that the woman's end of the deal is if the man is supposed to pay in order to impress. what does a woman have to do?
Be good company?
Not all life is equal and fair. You don't always get something because you gave right now. I would call a man paying for the date an "investment". You don't expect instant rewards, but in the long run, it could work to your advantage.
Post by decemberwedding07 on Oct 16, 2015 10:14:31 GMT -5
If I were still dating, I would want to pay for my half. It makes me feel very uncomfortable when other people pay for my meals. I feel obligated to order one of the cheaper things on the menu, even if that's not what I want. If I pay for myself, I can order whatever I want and not feel guilty. I also wouldn't want to feel like the guy thought I owed him something. I don't like feeling like there's an imbalance of power.
May I remind you of the fancy suite you stayed at in the ATL? How about you renting some kick ass Cabin every year for Thanksgiving. Just accept it, there is a reason we all hang together.
i am just wondering that the woman's end of the deal is if the man is supposed to pay in order to impress. what does a woman have to do?
Be good company?
Not all life is equal and fair. You don't always get something because you gave right now. I would call a man paying for the date an "investment". You don't expect instant rewards, but in the long run, it could work to your advantage.
If I were still dating, I would want to pay for my half. It makes me feel very uncomfortable when other people pay for my meals. I feel obligated to order one of the cheaper things on the menu, even if that's not what I want. If I pay for myself, I can order whatever I want and not feel guilty. I also wouldn't want to feel like the guy thought I owed him something. I don't like feeling like there's an imbalance of power.
I've said this a couple of times earlier in the thread but I don't get this. Never in all my years of dating have I ever had someone ask or demand anything of me after paying for a date. I say thank you and that's that.
I did in college. He was mean and forceful. I yelled and ran off.
If I were still dating, I would want to pay for my half. It makes me feel very uncomfortable when other people pay for my meals. I feel obligated to order one of the cheaper things on the menu, even if that's not what I want. If I pay for myself, I can order whatever I want and not feel guilty. I also wouldn't want to feel like the guy thought I owed him something. I don't like feeling like there's an imbalance of power.
I've said this a couple of times earlier in the thread but I don't get this. Never in all my years of dating have I ever had someone ask or demand anything of me after paying for a date. I say thank you and that's that.
Because I'm thinking - what kind of folks are ya'll dating?
And Imma say this - folks show you their natural ass after a while. You don't keep hanging out with their representative. What happens is folks ignore the little "I'm Crazy as a Road Lizard" signs trying to keep hope alive. NAWL. You know what you got. And if homeboy makes jokes about putting out for a steak, then bounce. That's jerk behavior right there.
Not all life is equal and fair. You don't always get something because you gave right now. I would call a man paying for the date an "investment". You don't expect instant rewards, but in the long run, it could work to your advantage.
Flip or Flop. Not just a house design show, anymore!
I am not paying. I am not splitting. I am not offering. I am not reaching for a wallet. I am not playing quid pro quo games. I am not asking a man on a date. I am not ever going to feel bad about any of this.
First date I 100% expect him to pay and I expect him to do the asking. If it's awkward I'll offer to split it with him, if he takes me up on it, he's done, there will be no 2nd date. If we get to a 3rd date, I'll pay and I make that clear up front and pick the place. Only once have I had a guy think I owed him something because he bought my dinner, hell no that didn't go over well. I told him exactly what I thought of him and then bitched about him on MM lol.
Post by CrazyLucky on Oct 16, 2015 11:26:19 GMT -5
I'm old. My last first date was 15+ years ago. I offered to pay half, but DH paid. If he had taken me up on my offer, I would not have ruled out a second date. I agree that whoever does the asking should do the paying, but it's not a showstopper for me.
How do the feminists among us reconcile wanting him to pay for the meal with the benevolent chivalry stuffs?
I'm glad you asked this question because I was wondering about this when I read the OP. I think all of this stuff can be very confusing for men. They hear that women want to be treated equally in the workplace and life generally, no special consideration or treatment, no chivalry, and I think many do agree that perspective. They see us as their equals and try their best to honor our wishes in that respect. Maybe that leads them to think there should be more equality in romantic relationships. But then you hear so many women saying that romantically they do want all of that stuff, they want to be "courted" and impressed, they want the door opened and the chair pulled out. They want the man to take the lead and do the planning. Look at all the women who ate up those 50 Shades books and movies. But then obviously not all women want that. Some women do get offended if the man assumes he will be paying on a first date or if he does the half stand up thing when she leaves the table, etc. It's an interesting time that we're living in.