Post by indifferentstars on May 21, 2019 8:17:36 GMT -5
I totally understand it can be a difficult topic to broach. I introduced toys by renting a hotel room for my H's bday and giving him a whole box of "fun things to try". But that's most likely not a timely idea for you. If you're going to get something first and then spring it on him as a fun surprise rather than conversing about it beforehand, I'd suggest something small and non-phallic to start so he doesn't feel like it's a replacement for his equipment, but an addition. Probably save anything like the Hitachi Wand for something to work up to later (btw very recommended but definitely not discreet during the action!)
I can't be browsing sex toys right now but in the other thread someone linked a small purple thing with a cord and battery pack on amazon. I think it's Dr. Berman brand. I have something very similar and it's super small and non-obtrusive to use during intercourse but does the job. It was probably one of our first toys and good enough that I replaced it when the first one wore out.
Post by brandy0331 on May 21, 2019 11:50:31 GMT -5
I definitely agree with not getting anything phallic shaped. One, he could feel some kind of way about it. Two, it would be awkward to use it, if you plan using it during.
I'm 41. Single. It is getting harder and harder with a partner because I have taken care of myself for so long and they don't know the pressure to use and sometimes I lose it during the build up. The guy I'm seeing thinks I'm abnormal as all the women he's been with and his friends have been with, it is easy for them. I think some are lying going by the female friends and acquaintances I talk to. I need to use my hand or maybe a vibrator. I have told him so. Or porn. We have a lot of connections besides that, but he will have none of my suggestions on what I need:(
Post by lexxasaurus on May 21, 2019 13:15:03 GMT -5
We use a ton of different stuff in the bedroom and are super open when it comes to the topic of sex. But previously I had people that were harder (or impossible) to talk to so I agree with not bringing it up like it isn't good/not doing the job and just 'I'd like to add something new and thought this might be a fun addition'. There are so many options out there! Like someone else said, confidence in itself is hot. I get kind of bossy because I know what I like, and D is really receptive to it. I think my boyfriend enjoys watching me get myself off more than actual sex some nights. That's been a big turn on for most guys I've been with so I'm sure he would be happy to include something that will make it better for you.
Post by picksthemusic on May 21, 2019 13:57:12 GMT -5
I use a little bullet that helps when a few things happen:
a) DH finishes before I can b) Not enough foreplay (this is the biggest one) c) For fun on my own/with a dildo
It has different speeds/settings/patterns that can be fun, but I generally only use one setting. The handle vibrates too and I can use that on other body parts (mainly my nipples).
I’m so fucking angry at some of the men in this post on behalf of some of you. Wtf. They don’t deserve you.
An engaged, interested partner has been utterly life changing for me.
Honestly, I think I am done trying. I am told by a couple men now that they don't want to see me touching myself and something is wrong with me if I need to as no other women they are with need that.
Why do they think women get off on just PnV? And this one does not watch porn. I DO!
This guy is going to make it even harder for me because I will be nervous. Ive only orgasmed my whole life by touching myself and a few times from oral but I often need to touch nearby.
I'm very depressed over this as my ex husband was very open to whatever I needed.
I’m so fucking angry at some of the men in this post on behalf of some of you. Wtf. They don’t deserve you.
An engaged, interested partner has been utterly life changing for me.
Honestly, I think I am done trying. I am told by a couple men now that they don't want to see me touching myself and something is wrong with me if I need to as no other women they are with need that.
Why do they think women get off on just PnV? And this one does not watch porn. I DO!
This guy is going to make it even harder for me because I will be nervous. Ive only orgasmed my whole life by touching myself and a few times from oral but I often need to touch nearby.
I'm very depressed over this as my ex husband was very open to whatever I needed.
Those men are ignorant idiots and are not worthy of you. PLENTY of women need extra help just because of the way they are constructed. There is no "right or wrong" way to do it.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
mdmb, This is odd, because so many men I have met would love to have watched me touch myself before or even during. I think even some men will do that during PnV, but not all.
Honestly, I think I am done trying. I am told by a couple men now that they don't want to see me touching myself and something is wrong with me if I need to as no other women they are with need that.
Why do they think women get off on just PnV? And this one does not watch porn. I DO!
This guy is going to make it even harder for me because I will be nervous. Ive only orgasmed my whole life by touching myself and a few times from oral but I often need to touch nearby.
I'm very depressed over this as my ex husband was very open to whatever I needed.
Those men are ignorant idiots and are not worthy of you. PLENTY of women need extra help just because of the way they are constructed. There is no "right or wrong" way to do it.
I tried explaining that to him, but he said he didn't want that in a relationship. He said none of the women he's been with had to do that:(
mdmb , This is odd, because so many men I have met would love to have watched me touch myself before or even during. I think even some men will do that during PnV, but not all.
Those men are ignorant idiots and are not worthy of you. PLENTY of women need extra help just because of the way they are constructed. There is no "right or wrong" way to do it.
I tried explaining that to him, but he said he didn't want that in a relationship. He said none of the women he's been with had to do that:(
He needs to see deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
I tried explaining that to him, but he said he didn't want that in a relationship. He said none of the women he's been with had to do that:(
He needs to see deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
DTMFA.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
OMG I'm angry on your behalf. You deserve better, he's an ass who clearly doesn't deserve you. A man should never, ever shame you for what you need in sex, ever! It's very common for women to touch themselves, and most men enjoy that, hell I've had several men ask me to do that so they can watch me. I've had two men who have shamed me during sex, both were kicked to the curb, I'd rather no sex that deal with that nonsense.
OMG I'm angry on your behalf. You deserve better, he's an ass who clearly doesn't deserve you. A man should never, ever shame you for what you need in sex, ever! It's very common for women to touch themselves, and most men enjoy that, hell I've had several men ask me to do that so they can watch me. I've had two men who have shamed me during sex, both were kicked to the curb, I'd rather no sex that deal with that nonsense.
Yeah, Im there. I think it will be no sex for life now. I wont date a republican man and I don't even want to ask that before. So many single men seem to be republican.
This man pushed my hand away when i went to touch myself and said "What are you doing?!"
He's willing to give me up then let me touch myself even though we have so much in common. He told me the point of a man in a relationship is to create the orgasms
He needs to see deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
DTMFA.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
I dated a man when I was 22 who made me feel pretty bad about the fact that I do not get lubricated on my own quickly. It takes a lot of foreplay or friction. He made me feel so shitty about this and then I talked to a friend who told me she is the same way. Men don't know shit. ANd just because some women become a fountain at the slightest bit of being turned on, that does not mean all women will or should be that way and if they are not, there is nothing wrong with them.
OMG I'm angry on your behalf. You deserve better, he's an ass who clearly doesn't deserve you. A man should never, ever shame you for what you need in sex, ever! It's very common for women to touch themselves, and most men enjoy that, hell I've had several men ask me to do that so they can watch me. I've had two men who have shamed me during sex, both were kicked to the curb, I'd rather no sex that deal with that nonsense.
Yeah, Im there. I think it will be no sex for life now. I wont date a republican man and I don't even want to ask that before. So many single men seem to be republican.
This man pushed my hand away when i went to touch myself and said "What are you doing?!"
He's willing to give me up then let me touch myself even though we have so much in common. He told me the point of a man in a relationship is to create the orgasms
"Well, I guess there is no point in this relationship then." HOnestly, he does not know what he is doing, in part for not wanting you to be a true participant in sex. What a fucking asshole.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
I dated a man when I was 22 who made me feel pretty bad about the fact that I do not get lubricated on my own quickly. It takes a lot of foreplay or friction. He made me feel so shitty about this and then I talked to a friend who told me she is the same way. Men don't know shit. ANd just because some women become a fountain at the slightest bit of being turned on, that does not mean all women will or should be that way and if they are not, there is nothing wrong with them.
If men don't know shit, how do you get them to listen?
Yeah, Im there. I think it will be no sex for life now. I wont date a republican man and I don't even want to ask that before. So many single men seem to be republican.
This man pushed my hand away when i went to touch myself and said "What are you doing?!"
He's willing to give me up then let me touch myself even though we have so much in common. He told me the point of a man in a relationship is to create the orgasms
"Well, I guess there is no point in this relationship then." HOnestly, he does not know what he is doing, in part for not wanting you to be a true participant in sex. What a fucking asshole.
He's good at oral, I just need the extra umph from my hand or a vibrator.
and early on in a relationship, Im so excited it's easier. As time progresses it gets harder so he thought it was something else. No it's just my body and hormones!!!!!
Yeah, Im there. I think it will be no sex for life now. I wont date a republican man and I don't even want to ask that before. So many single men seem to be republican.
This man pushed my hand away when i went to touch myself and said "What are you doing?!"
He's willing to give me up then let me touch myself even though we have so much in common. He told me the point of a man in a relationship is to create the orgasms
"Well, I guess there is no point in this relationship then." HOnestly, he does not know what he is doing, in part for not wanting you to be a true participant in sex. What a fucking asshole.
I tried explaining a relationship is so much more than a 6 second orgasm.
He needs to see deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
DTMFA.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
YES to so few men who are worthy. Who is telling you to wait 3-6 months? I wouldn't, unless that's something you really want to do. I'm your age and I'm not planning games like that, I know what I want, and if he can't provide it, next!
Post by thedutchgirl on May 21, 2019 14:43:27 GMT -5
mdmb, this guy sounds like a jerk who doesn't deserve you. I will say that my BF is a Republican, and he's not at all like this. I get if you don't want to date a Republican for any number of reasons, but they aren't all bad in bed and sex shaming.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
YES to so few men who are worthy. Who is telling you to wait 3-6 months? I wouldn't, unless that's something you really want to do. I'm your age and I'm not planning games like that, I know what I want, and if he can't provide it, next!
oh so many girlfriends shame. They say well if you would've waited this wouldn't have happened... blah
He needs to see deli scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
DTMFA.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
His experience is his experience and that is what it is. What's unacceptable is that he's judging you and isn't accepting of how *you* are, and not to mention that he's not at all invested in you having a satisfying sex life with him.
Someone in the other post made the suggestion of couching the request in "wouldn't it be fun to try" adding toys to an established couples' sex life. I think you could do the same thing before anyone dropped their drawers. If he's not enthusiastic, then you'll know.
Trust me, I know that there's not a lot of guys out there and many seem to be republican. I also won't date a picky eater or someone who doesn't love animals, so that narrows the field too.
Yes, I agree, but in his experience he thinks I am lying or my body is dysfunctional. Probably because women have lied to him. But men don't want to believe that. I can not and will not lie.
There are so few men out there who are worthy. And how do you broach this subject early to not waste time. It's been 3 months. And what if you wait 3 or 6 months to have sex like Im being told to do?
I dated a man when I was 22 who made me feel pretty bad about the fact that I do not get lubricated on my own quickly. It takes a lot of foreplay or friction. He made me feel so shitty about this and then I talked to a friend who told me she is the same way. Men don't know shit. ANd just because some women become a fountain at the slightest bit of being turned on, that does not mean all women will or should be that way and if they are not, there is nothing wrong with them.
On of the men I mentioned shamed me for the exact opposite! Some really don't know shit.