Post by NomadicMama on May 19, 2012 6:09:44 GMT -5
Thanks ladies!
Cailianabroad, I won't quote your response, but you ask some very valid questions.
We live off post, in a three bedroom townhouse. They would have their own, comfortable bedroom. LO has his own room, as well as a good size playroom in the basement. My/our master bedroom is the third floor. We would each have our own space.
The post where we are is uniquely situated. There is one main location, but the commissary, PX and most housing are separate and most is not gated. They can more easily get on and around as needed.
We live in a small city. Within 1km, one can easily reach the train station, the Rhein River, the walkplatz and several restaurants and grocery stores. While we have one car, I think my dad could get his international driver's license and drive our Jeep.
We are ideally situated, I think. There are things to do within walking, train and driving distance. They are retired, so they are able to stay for a longer period of time.
I want to be realistic. I want them to stay as long as possible. But, living abroad is a complex experience. On one hand, there are so many options and things to try. But, the language barrier and many new things can be intimidating and overwhelming. I think it would be neat to share this with my parents. And, realistically, if my DH were home, he would not be thrilled with the prospect of having my parents (or anyone, really) staying with us for so long. Again, it's a unique opportunity afforded to us by the military.
Thankfully, like dorothyinaus, we do have a good relationship--which is one reason why we are able to talk about this and that we are talking about this. I think being aware of the situation is one part to keeping problems in check.
And we are going to make sure that they are in compliance with visa regulations. They will be here for less than 90 days.
What does it feel like to be on the amphetamine? Since I am so high anxiety naturally, I imagine I would feel totally jacked up. I really hate feeling jittery.
(Good thing I don't have ADD lol)
It's awesome! I'm happy & more outgoing & energetic. Between this & the lexapro, nothing gets me down. lol.
Sometimes, like if I drink too much coffee or eat poorly, I feel jittery.
The thing with amphetamines and ADD/ADHD--if you have ADD/ADHD and take a medication like Ritalin, Adderall or Vyvanse, it has, what appears to be the opposite reaction. For me, it quiets the noise. It allows me to attend to my thoughts. Without meds, I am easily overwhelmed which leads to depression.
I have also, like Kore, found that if I drink too much caffiene (coffee) and/or eat too much crap, I feel jittery and out of sorts.
I was off my good ADD meds while TTC (nearly two years), and, obviously, while pregnant. I had planned on getting back on ASAP after delivering my son--but I ended up with pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. My doctors (and I saw several, including two psychiatrists) would not allow me to go back on a stimulant medication for four months because of the blood pressure issues/concerns. It really sucked because I also developed crushing postpartum depression (with a bit of anxiety thrown in for kicks). I am so thankful to be back on my meds.
As for finding a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD/ADHD, google CHADD. They have resources available. In my experience, the really good psychiatrists don't deal with insurance. It is a PITA for them and they are able to get enough clients to pay OOP (though, some may submit claims on their own to their insurance company). I am fortunate that we are able to pay for my appointments. Though, once you've found what works, the expense goes down as you don't need to be seen as frequently. I was seeing my awesome doc every three months for med checks.
If anyone is in Northern Virginia, I have the name of a great doctor in Old Town Alexandria.
For those wondering about meds changing one's personality--I found that being properly medicated (finally) allowed me to be ME. It levels the playing field. I went from being on the verge of being fired at work (the lowest performer in my department), to being a rock star, one of the top three producers (out of about 20-ish people). I had trouble managing life--work, laundry, grocery shopping and housework were too much for me. In a matter of months, I had my life back. It was an amazing transformation. If you really think you may be ADD/ADHD, seek out help. It might make a huge difference in your quality of life.
Post by NomadicMama on May 19, 2012 4:37:12 GMT -5
Pertinent information: I have a good relationship with my parents. They are mindful, for the most part, of boundaries and their roles as grandparents. DH will be deployed for a year.
Now down to business. . . My parents are planning to visit this fall. We are talking about how long they will stay. When we first learned of our move and DH's deployment, my mom threw it out there about staying for three months. In theory, that would be great. Taking care of LO, who will be three years old, without any help is one of my main concerns. Plus, I would have help with the dog (who has to be walked to potty, he's not allowed to pee or poop in our garden). And, well, the company would be nice, too.
But the reality is is that three months is a long time. When I moved to their city the last time DH deployed, I rented my own house for the 15 months that I lived there. I am an adult, a grow woman with my own family. But, these are unusual circumstances. While we get along well, there is still some of the parent/child dynamic at play. My dad is worried that my mom and I will get into it. When I was a teenager, we would quarrel--we are very similar. But, none of the spats were major, nothing epic, by any means.
My mom has always wanted to visit Europe, but my dad has been reluctant to spend that kind of money (he's relatively conservative with their retirement funds). Though, my dad is very excited too. He studied German in high school and college--and seems to remember quite a bit of it--even nearly 50 years later! This would be a neat opportunity to see part of Europe and spend time with their youngest grandchild (and their daughter).
They would come in early October and stay through New Years. The option to go home early may be an option, though, that would mean LO and I would celebrate Christmas without any of our family. That is not a huge concern for me, but I know LO would enjoy having them here.
Having guests for three months is a long time. But, they aren't random guests. We could discuss cleaning and cooking chores. Plus, my parents are both healthy, active and independent folk. They would not sit in my house, waiting for me to cater to and entertain them. We would do day trips and overnights, too (like to Paris!).
Three months is a long time. But a year without DH/Daddy is even longer.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 14:32:29 GMT -5
I was diagnosed with ADHD after having suffered, for nearly a decade, with major depression. I take Vyvanse twice a day. Evidently, I metabolize the medication rather quickly, even the extended release version. A higher dose made me jittery, but a slightly lower dose, twice a day, does the trick!
Find a psychiatrist who specializes in Adult ADHD. It is worth it to go to the added step to be treated by someone properly trained to help folks like us.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 14:14:47 GMT -5
I would take pictures of the two of them together, as well as you and DH together, and the three of you together, print them, then hang them around the house. The visual images of DH with each of you and as a family will help your LO continue to see his daddy as a part of the family.
At this age, he's not going to really understand what's going on. Do your best to remain consistent with him. Also, remember to take care of yourself. Make sure you plan for time with your friends, to get your hair cut, to have a cup of coffee without a toddler pulling on your sleeve. By taking care of yourself, too, you'll be better able to care for your LO.
Good luck. Separation is difficult, but part of the military life. We're here for you!
Anyway, this girl comes into the store and she wants to buy a dress for her wedding that is in 8 days. She tells the girl at the store that she met a guy on the Internet 4 months ago and they decided last month to get married. The havent met yet and they arent going to meet until the day of the wedding.
What do you guys think? Romantic of BSC?
Honestly, a little frightening. (And, as mentioned above, I met my DH on line and married quickly--so I understand, to a degree, where she's coming from.)
There are TOO many unknowns with the situation. What about chemistry? Who is going to relocate? If they can't afford to meet before hand, then, in my perhaps judgement opinion, they should save their money and have a small (and very inexpensive) wedding. (Though saving money for an extended visit would be more practical and beneficial.)
Did she explain the rush to get married?
If you as a couple are meant to "be", taking a few (more) months to establish the relationship is the wise and prudent thing. Though, given that the show you are watching is called Bridezilla, wise and prudent will never happen!
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 10:58:12 GMT -5
Hi! I just saw this, despite having read and replied earlier! I will answer more when I'm able to use more than just my iPhone (damn cement walls and wifi are NOT friends). Message board replies are about all I can manage with my phone.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 10:53:05 GMT -5
I wonder if part of it has to do with the age of the patients. Young mothers and "old" mothers (I say this as an "old" mother) are more at risk for complications. There may be factors that we, as viewers, are not privy to.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 10:48:54 GMT -5
Welcome! Courtesy of Uncle Sam, my American soldier has moved me, his American wife, and LO, our American toddler, to Germany, only to be leaving us soon as he has been ordered to the 'Stan for 365 days. I considered staying back home, in the states, while he deployed, but I quickly decided that I did not want to miss out on such a fabulous opportunity to live abroad. So, here I am!
I considered buying a houseplant or two. Typically, I kill them off quite handily. But, I figured that these would be the plants that would thrive and I'd become attached to--because there is no way to take them back with me. That would be the plant world's karmic bus driving by. So I decided to keep my money in my purse!
Six months. And, we got married 24 days after we got engaged. ;D
We met online while now-DH was deployed. We wrote a ton of emails and talked weekly for almost three months before our first date. We've been married for almost six years.
And I thought be the only one who waited such a short time!
You are in good company!
It was especially fun to answer polls like this on the Knot while planning (we had a wedding ceremony and reception ten weeks after our JOP). Some of the knotties were rather surprised.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 8:56:34 GMT -5
My DH used to snore (he's lost some weight). When he was snoring, I would drink SleepyTime tea before bed and sleep with ear plugs. It usually worked.
I'm thankful he doesn't snore much now. With a toddler, I don't feel comfortable wearing ear plugs.
When one of us has a cold, someone sleeps in the guest room. We kind of "fight" over who gets to sleep in the guest room. The bed is quite nice and, in our last house, it was on the third floor--a quiet, serene and calm space.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 8:49:21 GMT -5
Six months. And, we got married 24 days after we got engaged. ;D
We met online while now-DH was deployed. We wrote a ton of emails and talked weekly for almost three months before our first date. We've been married for almost six years.
Post by NomadicMama on May 18, 2012 4:42:11 GMT -5
I'm a mod now! ;D
Unfortunately, on my iPad, I don't think that I can handle your request. If TX hasn't gotten to it, I will do my best to complete the task before 18:00 my time, which is 12:00 (noon) on the East Coast.
Awww, this is such a great offer and if A) I had a license and could drive in Germany and B)our car was insured I would definitely take you up on it! Long story with both of those, but my US license is expired (thought I wouldn't be able to use it in Spain so what was the point?). Is there any way I could get there by train and make a day of it? I couldn't do any of the cooking because I'd have no way to transport it back, but it could be fun. I don't know if your house is train accessible from Frankfurt though.
We are accessible by train. We are about 1km from the local station. If you were to train here, I could take you and Kernel home. You don't have to cook, but my kitchen is yours! I could see about borrowing a car seat, too. (I would only borrow one that I would allow my child to use. I've had to use a borrow car seat that was not up to my standards. I would not do that to you!)
Post by NomadicMama on May 17, 2012 11:57:14 GMT -5
Popcorn--while it might be a bit of a drive, you and Kernel are welcome to come to my house. You can bring recipes and cook, cook, cook. (I'm assuming you have, at least, a fridge and a microwave, right?) I've got a pack 'n play Kernel could nap in (and a guest room that gets super dark and is fabulous for sleeping!). I know we have not met yet, but I understand life in transition. I promise that I'm not scary. Can you promise the same?!?! )
Post by NomadicMama on May 17, 2012 11:48:20 GMT -5
Is it wrong that I'm curious who voted no? This feels like when I've been dropped as a friend on FB, but don't know who. Ultimately, it matters little, but I'm curious nonetheless!
Since moving two months ago (to Germany), my fine hair is even more limp and lifeless. )
AHHHHHH. I am having the same problem! Frankfurt water sucks. That is all I have to say. Thanks for asking this question as I also want to know the answer...if there is one. BTW--aren't you near Frankfurt? In Wiesbaden perhaps? We should GTG!
Yes! We are actually just east of Wiesbaden, but not far! We should GTG! Not that either of us know the area well, but we can figure something out! I'll check with a friend who has been here longer and seems to really know her stuff!
Post by NomadicMama on May 16, 2012 14:30:32 GMT -5
Thanks for the tips! I will start washing my face with bottled water (we get Culligan delivered, so it's not as expensive). I will have to buy vinegar and more baking soda. I'll look into the products suggested.
I can't condition my hair with each shower? I will try this, but I am dubious.
Thank you, again. My face is awful. I hope to report back with happier skin (and hair) soon!
Hadn't even thought about this! Thanks for sharing, NM!
You are welcome! I tried to plan ahead, but it seems to have backfired on me. :N: Also, don't use the soap that lodging provides. That stuff dried me out and made me itchier than I've ever been. Bring gentle cleansers.
In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a huge deal. But, when you are trying to get settled, and make friends, feeling dry, limp and pimply does not leave one feeling quite as confident!
Post by NomadicMama on May 16, 2012 11:28:13 GMT -5
Before our big move, I stocked up on my favorite hair and skin care products. (Aveda--not prohibitively expensive, but not cheap, either.) Well, my hair and skin are not diggin' the hard water over here. It is better now that we are in our own place (I think that water in lodging was especially hard), but it's not good. My hair is especially limp, the ends feel really dry and my face. . . It looks like shit. The products I brought with me are not working.
So, before sinking money into product, consider what things might be like in your new location. I am kicking myself for all the money I spent on shampoo and conditioner, especially, that aren't what my hair needs.
Also, if anybody has any suggestions for combatting the effects of hard water, I'm open to suggestions. My hope is to get my face cleared up so that when DH deploys, when he imagines my face, or looks at recent pictures, my skin is clear, not nasty. I swear, my face was never, ever even half this bad in middle and high school. Ugh.
Post by NomadicMama on May 16, 2012 11:16:54 GMT -5
Since moving two months ago (to Germany), my fine hair is even more limp and lifeless. My complexion, while not fabulous since having my son nearly three years ago, has gone to hell. It is awful.
I found that using my son's California Baby shampoo every couple of days helped, but I've now used it all up.
I brought a ton of Aveda products with me that I'd like to use, if possible. (They're not cheap and I stocked up--oops!). I have an Aveda moisturizer, too, and use Bare Escentials make-up.
Please tell me--what do you use to counter the effects of hard water???
FWIW, I have fine hair (chin length) and it gets oily (then downright greasy) quickly. My face used to be oily, but feels dryer these days (go figure, hard water!).
Thank you! My DH will be headed out for an extended work trip, and I'd like to get this hot mess under control so that when he imagines my face (or looks at recent pictures, I am not a pimply, gross mess.)
Post by NomadicMama on May 16, 2012 10:52:55 GMT -5
Pumpkin701 and ilovecandy are the two that prompted my "confession".
Sookie, thank you for posting this. I thought it was just me. I understand if some people are trying to remain more anonymous and don't want to link their new SN with their old one--but at least give us a hint!
Post by NomadicMama on May 16, 2012 2:49:26 GMT -5
On days that I shower--maybe ten minutes, blow drying. Another 15 if I'm being fancy and curl it. Make-up takes me 15. All told, it takes me about an hour to get ready. I wish I was speedier, but I'm not.
Post by NomadicMama on May 15, 2012 13:32:37 GMT -5
I confess that I can't keep all the new SNs straight. I appreciate it when former SNs are listed in the sig, or a familiar picture is attached. (I'll try to put up a picture soon. . . .). I know--big big confession. Sorry!
I feel so loved right now. I'm down for being a co mod. I think nomadic would be a great addition as a co mod as well. She always has such sound advice and tries to remain as neutral as possible in the face of blatant stupidity, something I have a tough time with.
I like the idea of keeping the MN initials. I like Military Nook or Niche.
Awww, you made me blush! If only you saw the responses that I delete thus don't post. Blatant stupidity makes me stubby, but having been a kindergarten teacher (many years ago), I've learned to be as gentle as possible (while angry thoughts scream through my head!).
And, I'm totally cool being vice mod. I'm not trying to thunder jack. You're doing a great job. If I were back in the states, I would not have made my offer. But, being six hours ahead, I thought it made sense--especially since other mods won't be able to edit.
They need to go to a number scale. My waist is 31 inches. Pants should say 31 inches. End of story. It gets depressing!!! Not to mention so irritating when sizes are different in the same store.
I agree. Now that I will be buying most of my clothes online, size consistency and predictability are especially important to me. Frankly, I don't care what size I wear, as long as the garment fits properly. Being able to claim that I wear a size eight (but am really a 14) will not make me buy something if the fit is poor and looks like hell.