Or maybe she's confused about where he is specifically. There are still plenty of people in places like qatar, in support of Iraq operations.
Why would a spouse's pregnancy prevent a deployment?
A pregnancy would not prevent a deployment, but a second deployment, mere weeks after the soldier's return does not sem likely. I know that a service member can waive stabilization but this sound highly improbable to me.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who wondered about MUD. I didn't respond to the post. I know that I'm not an expert but things just felt "off". I mean, when DH and I were trading emails shortly after we met online. I wrote something about being stationed in Afghanistan. He explained what "stationed" meant and I have not made that mistake again. And yes, I know a service member can be "stationed" overseas. For his deployment in '09-'10, officially, DH was station is Kuwait, but deployed to Iraq.
Well, I mean, I'm sure there are SF ops in Iraq, and the State Dept. presence means there is some military at least. If her H was SF, I could see him getting sent back quickly, but she really shouldn't be talking about his job that way if he's SF, IMO.
While combat troops are out (and have been since December), I wondered about SF and units like that. . . but I kind of think that spouses of those in SF are better informed about something like PERSEC. She uses his/their last name in her bio and in at least one post.
I do know that there is stuff going on that I am certainly not privy to--but I'm rather skeptical on this one. (And I am one of the most gullible people ever!). I'm curious to see where things go with that thread. . .
Post by NomadicMama on Jul 17, 2012 17:13:44 GMT -5
Can this even be possible??
A woman posted on Military Families, on the "other" site. She is an Army wife and pregnant with triplets. Her husband is currently "stationed" (her term, not mine) in Iraq. ^o) He is due to come home in November (around her due date), but just learned that he is being sent back a few weeks after getting home.
Really? ^o)
I've googled. From what I can gather, there aren't any troops deployed to Iraq (which is what I thought to be the case). The State Department is now the US presence in Iraq. Oh, and she has a big ole "half my heart is in Iraq" blinky in her signature (so the excuse of "I meant to say Afghanistan" won't fly).
And, even if there are a handful of soldiers in Iraq, unless she's confused and he's only coming home for R&R, troop stabilization wouldn't allow this to happen, unless he signed up to do so, right? I would think that a soldier's chain of command would not allow a soon-to-be-father of triplets to voluntarily leave his three newborns and their mother/his wife.
Post by NomadicMama on Jul 17, 2012 13:42:15 GMT -5
My mom was was 29 and my dad was 27. My brother is four years older than I am. For their peer group, this was a bit on the later end of the spectrum (I'm 40 years old). I, on the other hand, had my son a month before turning 38.
I understand your frustration. You want to attend, but are unable to most of the time.
The flip side is that to have a "mandatory fun" activity during non-work hours takes away from family time (and folks would vent about that). If it's during non-work hours and is optional, very few would attend. Sounds like they are catering to the majority.
I understand the reasoning. And it makes sense.
On the other hand, there is a very strong undertone that I am not supposed to miss these events. I've actually been half-assed called out on it before, when I have been able to make it to an event. It marks me, and DH, as the odd ones out. And, frankly, it reinforces the image that the military doesn't want spouses to work - the implication is that I _should_ be available. It's hard enough to keep something resembling a career going thru the moves we have to make. Taking time off for events like this would only make it harder.
It sucks that they call you out on it (or make you feel that way) and that there is the expectation that you will attend. What is this? 1950? It is damn hard to keep a professional career afloat when you move frequently and for those who have made it work should, if not be supported, at least not be (or feel) penalized. And the double standard--if you were a man, married to a female soldier, the expectations would be different. I understand why you are frustrated.
I understand your frustration. You want to attend, but are unable to most of the time.
The flip side is that to have a "mandatory fun" activity during non-work hours takes away from family time (and folks would vent about that). If it's during non-work hours and is optional, very few would attend. Sounds like they are catering to the majority.
Post by NomadicMama on Jul 3, 2012 16:00:20 GMT -5
I'm no help for what to do, my hair needs some help. But, for your DH's "collection"--you can donate them to homeless shelters. They give their clients travel size toiletries.
Post by NomadicMama on Jul 3, 2012 15:57:17 GMT -5
Welcome!! We recently moved from the NCR. We lived on the outskirts of Old Town Alexandria. I lived in Del Ray when I met my husband (almost seven years ago). We will likely (hopefully?) end up there, again, when DH retires (less than three years!!!!!). But, for now, we call Germany home.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 30, 2012 5:23:06 GMT -5
I occasionally sleep in my contacts, especially if I won't be asleep for the six hours needed to sterilize them.
We have a really nice vehicle--a Jeep Grand Cherokee. But I want a small vehicle. The Jeep is not enormous, but it's bigger than most German vehicles. I want a Mercedes Benz A Class or B Class--a supermini car. They are adorable!!! But, I will have to "make do" with our Jeep. I know, rough life.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 30, 2012 5:13:08 GMT -5
Dang, I don't have Adobe. All I have downstairs are Apple products. I'm not going to climb to the third floor, which is considerably warmer than the rest of the house, to fire up the desk top, to take a grammar quiz. But I'm curious!
My sixth grade teacher drilled us on "children's is ALWAYS apostrophe s!". I think it was a personal pet peeve and she did all she could to ensure that her students wrote it correctly!!! Twenty-nine years later, I still remember!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 27, 2012 14:41:30 GMT -5
Lurker chiming in. . . I had a professional wax before my wedding (second time waxing). The woman doing it made me bled! The wax tore off a chunk of flesh. . . Later, as we were getting the bleeding to stop, she passed out. Like full on slump on the floor, wet her pants, passing out. It was clearly not her day.
(I asked after my massage if she was okay. They gave me some BS answer, but in retrospect, they couldn't divulge any personal information.)
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 24, 2012 11:34:40 GMT -5
Wow. Someone screwed up. And, PCSing to an island is different that PCSing CONUS. I can't imagine showing up and expecting there to be room for us. I hope it all works out for them.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 22, 2012 3:57:51 GMT -5
Who goes to the news with this whinefest--BUT, what news organization actually finds this "newsworthy"?? Wow.
This woman is in Central NY, she should take a day trip up to Fort Drum. She could talk to wives whose husbands are, basically, one year home, one year deployed, rinse and repeat. Perhaps she'd shut her yap (on the news) about her problem. Yes, being told no, then yes, then no, again, about leave sucks. But it's life. (And he's in Kuwait--which means they are likely able to talk/email/Skype every day.)
Separation is hard, I know. But deal with it in private and with dignity!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 20, 2012 10:36:43 GMT -5
How old are your kids? Is hourly child care on post/base an option? That has been my sanity saver since DH deployed (last week!). What about hiring a mother's helper--a neighborhood tween, for less money than an older actual babysitter, to come play with and entertain the kids?
Have you been in touch with your FRG contact? Might there be people able and willing to come keep you company? Can you afford to fly a friend or family member in to visit for a week? (That would be less expensive for you than multiple plane tickets to go to see them.)
I'm sorry you are stuck on the couch. I hope your DH is home SOON!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 20, 2012 10:31:19 GMT -5
Can you send it to her by email? Then, the next time she asks for your address, because she will, you can forward her the email, showing that she already has it?
I find this annoying, but I am, too, guilty of doing it!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 20, 2012 6:44:38 GMT -5
Ummm, how else are folks supposed to be able to track you down to return your lost keys unless you provide them with sensitive personal information? Duh. I thought that was considered an appropriate secondary use of dog tags, right after giving one to your girlfriend and one to your wife to wear as accessories. Jeez.
It always seems to relieve tension when they leave... Glad to hear you are shifting back to normal.
German kindergarten for your LO sounds awesome! Will it be in German, or English?
German! I am equal parts thrilled and scared for him! I really hope we are able to get a good language foundation in German for him (and me, too). The scared part is the language barrier in the beginning. But, I remind myself that little ones adapt more easily than we do as adults. It is likely much scarier for me than for him!
Thanks everyone! I do feel better, but there will be good days and challenging days. I just need to keep beer and wine on hand for the challenging days! LOL!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 18, 2012 7:11:11 GMT -5
I travel without DH frequently. When he was deployed in 2009-2010, LO and I travelled frequently--and continued after he returned. My plan is to continue to travel--especially since he's deployed again, and we now live in Germany. By the time he was 2.5 years old, LO had been on over 30 flights.
That said, I would very likely not travel for a housewarming party. If I had not seen my family in over a year, I would not choose such an occasion for the purpose of my visit. I would prefer a non-party/event weekend when I could spend time with my family, relaxing and catching up. Party weekend you will be cleaning and prepping. You'll be busy and she may very well not want to have to help (or hear you complain that she didn't do more).
Since she does not want to come for the party, perhaps you could invite her to come another time--so you can spend quality time together. I understand having a housewarming party--buying a house is a bug deal. But it is not the same as a wedding/vow renewal/milestone birthday (like 50 or 60)/retirement party. IMO, it is much like a bridal or baby shower.
And, like others have said, this thread makes the other thread make sense.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 18, 2012 3:14:48 GMT -5
DH left a couple of days ago. The two days leading up to his departure were torture, pure torture. Watching and listening to him play with LO and the dog left me in tears. He had to report at 4:00am, and I did not want to drag LO out of bed (dealing with DH leaving is hard enough, to have to do so with a sleep deprived and off-schedule toddler was NOT going to happen). So, DH drove himself and I retrieved the car later.
We have kept busy, really busy. We have survived our first weekend. We can do this. I am taking LO to hourly child care three times a week. He enjoys being with his friends. I enjoy having toddler-free time. I am looking forward to when he goes to school in August (German kindergarten). Five days a week seemed like a lot at first, but I know it will be good for both of us.
So, thanks for your words of encouragement and support last week. Hate that DH is gone, I wish he were one with us. . . But I'm thankful to be counting down.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 13, 2012 4:57:44 GMT -5
ADD-me? Hell no! I think it drives DH batty, too. I simply don't see clutter. And, I find organizing to be mentally exhausting. But, when I get in the zone, I can hyper-focus like a professional. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen often, and usually late at night.
Madison--DH says that our kitchen table goes from perfect to shit in sixty seconds. And it does. It is a constant losing battle. I am so afraid of when I will see my table top after DH leaves. He's the one with the patience to clear it.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 10, 2012 16:03:58 GMT -5
I am feeling better now, after my morning of crying and feeling sorry for myself. The sunglasses are to mask my swollen eyes.
DH wanted Taco Bell for dinner. Grant did not. To appease the toddler, we got Taco Bell to go, and took it to the plenum (LO's version of the word playground) by post lodging (the play structure is perfect for toddlers!). While there I met a woman who had just arrived. Turns out her DH is deploying, too. In 30 days. They've been here three days. Their car caught fire during transport to the port, so they have to buy a new car. On their flight here, something happened half way through the flight, and they turned the plane around. Oh, and they have an 18 month old little girl.
I gave her my contact info. I will help her find her way around and get settled. Talking to her made me feel better about my/our sitation and helping her will help me keep busy.
I ordered LO two EOD shirts. Once they arrive, I'm going to take pictures of LO in them, then use the pictures to order a "daddy doll" of LO to send to DH. I am excited.
Well, thanks for the support. I hate this part of a deployment. Gah!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 10, 2012 11:23:15 GMT -5
Thanks ladies. It does suck. And then we get over it.
Brandienee, I need to do laundry, too. All my BGP seem to be missing.
Stan, you are right about the first 36 hours. This is why I have LO scheduled to go to hourly child care both of those days. I can cry, in bed, eating ice cream and cookies (and not have to share) and LO will come home tired, after a full day of fun!
I don't want him to go. But I am ready to get this show on the road.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 10, 2012 3:07:10 GMT -5
I swear, the woman who puts that phrase on her jewelry is crazy. I get the gist, but damn, these last few days SUCK. I can help but think, "This is the last ________ for a year.". DH just took LO on one of their typical weekend "adventures"--but it's far from "typical", next weekend, Dasdy won't be here to take LO out for fun, allowing me a few hours to myself. I can deal with DH being gone, I'm a grown-up. But my heart breaks for our son.
Tell me, please--how do you get through these last days without losing your shit every hour? I swear, by the time he leaves, my eyes are going to be so puffy and perpetually red.
Thanks ladies. I thought seeing DH off on a deployment while 30 weeks pregnant was rough. Doing so with a toddler is so much harder for me. . .
The idiot said he was pressured by the producers to hurry up and get them a picture. He said he'd deleted most of his pictures because he didn't want the reminders of such a difficult time. What the what? So you go on AGT and talk about it. Dumbass is right.
NomadicMama, do the hardware or dept stores there have pop-up closets? We got a couple in Korea, and they were fairly inexpensive. They were basically pvc pipes with curtains, but they worked really well. If it's normal for homes not to have closets, then there has to be some sort of local solution to the problem.
I am gathering my options. I am weighing the cost against the esthetics. I'm tiring of the temporary feeling that comes with inexpensive (cheap) furniture but I can't justify spending too much. It sucks (FWP suck). We could be here for three years, or we could be moving in 12 months.
Wow, as I was typing this, I recieved a phone call--our wardrobes are being delivered on Tuesday!!!! Yeah!!! Granted, they will likely be ugly, but they are at no cost to us. Yeah! This is a welcome surprise!
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 7, 2012 12:18:15 GMT -5
My older brother played soccer (like most kids). Evidently I liked to wander close to the side lines. Someone told me that the white paint would hurt/burn me if I touched it.
To this day, I still avoid the white painted lines for fear that I might get burned.
I thought girls where born with a baby already in their tummy and it just took a very long time for it to grow big enough to be born. I had no idea where second (or more) children came from. (And from my bit above, you can see that I am not the first born child.)
My Kuerig is downstairs, when I need to get ready upstairs. *shudder*
Our master bedroom is on the third floor. I briefly considered putting one (of our three) Keurigs upstairs in our bedroom. But, then I realized that I would have to buy another transformer to be able to run it (it is 110 volts and our outlets are 220) and I would need to buy a tiny refrigerator in which to keep my liquid CoffeeMate (nondairy creamer). Too much money and effort. I hear ya', Hilly.
My first world problem? We have no closets. None. Housing is supposed to provide them, but the wait list is reportedly running at least a year. At this rate, with our luck, we'll get our effing wardrobes a month or two before we move. (Not that we know if, where or when we'd be moving. . . ). Most of my clothes are laying in a heap in front of my new dresser.
Oh, another one! I love my new vacuum cleaner. It is fabulous. But I can't bring it home with me because it runs on 220 volts, not 110.
Post by NomadicMama on Jun 7, 2012 11:55:17 GMT -5
Last deployment, thanks to the Army, I was able to move to live near my family. So, I had their help and support (which I ended up needing as a result of a difficult delivery and severe PPD).
This deployment is different. Three months ago we moved to Germany. DH heads out for a year very soon. We have an almost three year old. I have thrown myself into two well established activities on post. I volunteered to be a discussion group leader for the chapel's MOPS program. And I was asked to be the publicity chairperson for our local PWOC. (This was surprised and flattered me.). Keeping busy and in contact with military spouses will help me through this coming year. These two organizations are taking steps to help support the families on post with deployed service members. It will be helpful to have people to turn to.
I hate that DH is deploying, but this is going to be a great experience for me. This move, coupled with DH's absence have pushed me to get out of the house. I am a people person, but I've become less involved in the community with each successive move. Because of our circumstances, I know that I would be miserable simply caring for our toddler. I am looking forward to doing things for me, in addition to caring for my son. My commitments may make life more challenging, but it will make it more rewarding, too.
I am glad that I am not having to rely upon the FRG either--as they have proven to be fairly inept to this point. My DH gave my information to the staff person who is responsible for the flow of information. I attended the last FRG meeting and handed the FRG leader my email address and asked her to include me. Nothin'. Fortunately, a friend is forwarding the info to me. But her DH is leaving his position to take command, so I may need to find somebody else to forward emails to me.
OP, I'm sorry that your friends are not doing for you as you have done for them. Do they know that your DH is gone? (I ask only because some people are very good at keeping this information quiet.). I wonder if you have done such a good job of projecting a confident air that they don't think you need help. I'm not saying that's right, though. I think that I might be inclined to find new friends if the current ones aren't stepping up.
I currently live in Wiesbaden. We weren't expecting OCONUS orders, but I'm really enjoying it here (even with a soon to be deployed DH). Civilian jobs are hit and miss.
We lived in Northern Virginia for two years (and I lived there before becoming a nomadic wife). It is not Bethesda, but close. The job market would be best here, since it's a big city. It is expensive to live in the NCR, but I love the area.
I lived in Nashville while DH was deployed last time--Fort Campbell is about an hour away. I enjoyed the general area, but because the military is such a presence there, you might have a difficult time finding work in your field.