Post by aprilsunshine on Jan 12, 2013 16:21:54 GMT -5
[/quote]
Agh. Ok. I get that I shouldn't complain about the flight, because I know how much they cost. But seriously? All I wanted was for her to check with me because if she had said "Look, mom and dad's flight is $50 more, so I am getting these other ones.", I would have immediately said we could pay the difference. Is that really that awful? I don't think so.
[/quote]
Do you not see how you are contradicting yourself? First you are complaining that you cannot afford anything, which is why she paid for your tickets and hotel. NOW, you are saying that your entire beef with her is not checking with you because you would have paid the difference.
Why would she assume you would pay the difference when your family doesn't have a lot of money right now? If she assumed this, you would probably be bitching that she asked you to pay for some when she promised to pay the entire thing. You're just trying to find something to be mad about because you have other issues with her.
Had you read further, you would have seen that the oh-so-awful sister dropped nearly three grand to fly this spoiled brat and her entire family to Hawaii.
Suck it up. I've flown with an infant and a with a toddler. With layovers. At 4 am, in the middle of the night, with only my H to help me. It's not that big a deal. Seriously, you look like a total tool for the crap you're bitching about when your sister is paying three grand for you.
OMG.
i'm feeling anger over here. I said it was all about the approach. I'd ask my sister, nicely. You know? because i feel as family we can do that. BUT i wouldn't push it if she said no and be along my way and on the plane to her wedding.
Damn right there's anger.
Sister drops three thousand bucks on this chick and she finds reason to complain, enough to post that her bitching to the sister about the tickets purchased made HER livid. That makes me angry.
Post by aprilsunshine on Jan 12, 2013 16:27:37 GMT -5
Also, weddings are often difficult for most people. Finding something to wear, transportation, a place to stay, someone to watch the kids, etc. is something that you just have to deal with to be there for someone you care about on their wedding day.
Are your flights ideal? Maybe not. But that's a part of weddings. Your sister went way far out of her way to try to make things easier for you and your family, and you are complaining that it's not perfect. Think about how people probably had to go out of their way for YOUR wedding. Even if it wasn't a destination wedding, people still did a lot for you.... why are you so adamant about not returning the favor to your own sister?
Hindsight being 20/20, you should have stuck with your gut about mixing money and your relationship with your sister. While sucky that's something your sister would have to deal with since she chose a wedding in Hawaii.
What's done is done and you need to suck it up now, stop complaining, thank your sister profusely and ask if she needs help with anything.
Post by EloiseWeenie on Jan 12, 2013 17:13:41 GMT -5
If you're interested, my family of 4 can stand in for yours. We would be extremely grateful, thank your sister profusely, buy a wedding gift, and even offer to help with any of the wedding stuff.
True story: My ILs paid for my family of 4 to go on a cruise with all of my H's side of the family. They paid for flights and an interior cabin. Do you know what we said? Thank you thank you thank you. Then, we contacted our travel agent, and paid a little extra to get a cabin with a window across the hall from ILs. We also flew, just the 4 of us, all by ourselves. . . and were perfectly fine.
Apologize to your sister for being a brat, and thank her for her generous gift. If you feel the need, call the airline and see if you can fly out at a different time. Obviously you won't be with your parents, but you could try to avoid a red eye. Oh, and long layovers are nice with kids. It takes a long time to get everyone bathroomed, fed, and across an airport.
I still really want to know how many nights you're staying in Hawaii on her dime. This reminds me of my SIL who wanted to back out of my wedding party because I paid for her BM dress but not her husbands $60 tux rental.
Post by RoxMonster on Jan 12, 2013 17:46:56 GMT -5
I also wanted to say that I have a friend who flew red eye to Italy (with her H) and their two children under 2 years old. She has flown red eye with them many times, as well as a few non-red eye flights and says she ALWAYS prefers red eyes with kids. She said they slept basically the whole time because it was their normal bed time and were refreshed and awake by the time the plane landed. I don't doubt that traveling with small kids can really suck and be a huge pain in the ass, but red eye may not be as bad as you are saying it will.
Oh and also, you should be super grateful your sister is spending all this money in order for you to be able to come to her wedding. If she is such a bitch like you make her out to be, why would she even care if you could make it to her wedding? I would just say thank you, take the tickets, and be super grateful I got a free Hawaiian vacation. Hawaii is awesome. I would gladly go back for free.
I also wanted to say that I have a friend who flew red eye to Italy (with her H) and their two children under 2 years old. She has flown red eye with them many times, as well as a few non-red eye flights and says she ALWAYS prefers red eyes with kids. She said they slept basically the whole time because it was their normal bed time and were refreshed and awake by the time the plane landed. I don't doubt that traveling with small kids can really suck and be a huge pain in the ass, but red eye may not be as bad as you are saying it will.
Oh and also, you should be super grateful your sister is spending all this money in order for you to be able to come to her wedding. If she is such a bitch like you make her out to be, why would she even care if you could make it to her wedding? I would just say thank you, take the tickets, and be super grateful I got a free Hawaiian vacation. Hawaii is awesome. I would gladly go back for free.
But her kids are very special, they WON'T sleep and they can't be away from her for more than 3hrs or they turn into gnomes.
To be fair, I think she said her ILs won't take the kids while they vacation, (no overnights or more than 3 hours). That seems reasonable on the ILs part but also a barrier for them to go as a couple without kids.
Part of me also wonders why OP didn't refuse the tickets for the rest of her family and just thank her sister for flying just her out. Instead, she accepted a crazy generous gift to fly a family of four to Hawaii... And then had the nerve to bitch about it. Unbelievable!
Oh boy. If you don't go at all, and your sister is out three grand on non refundable tickets, I think that will be the nail in the coffin of this dicey relationship you have with her.
I think if your sister really wanted her whole family at her wedding, she wouldn't have had it in Hawaii. But that doesn't excuse you accepting her paying for your ticket and then bitching about it. You should have said no and stuck to it.
I do think it's weird that people are shaming you with the whole "It's your sisters wedding, I would do ANYTHING to be at my sisters wedding!!!!" Dude, she chose to have her wedding in Hawaii. When you choose something like that, you do it with the understanding that some people can't be there.
And when you choose to accept someone's offer for them to buy your entire family tickets because they are willing to pay for you travel and accommodation to attend their wedding, you do it with the understanding that you don't get to pick every detail to your exact liking
I didn't read everything but from your OP it looks like your parents flight is on a different airline. I doubt your sister bought refundable tickets, its crazy expensive. So she would lose all the money on your existing tickets and you would have a credit available for a flight later in the year but she would have to buy all new tickets. So its not just $50/person at this point. You can't change flights. Also, its not like you can socialize on the plane. So why is it so important to be on the same flight? Who the hell cares?
Lurker here. I was in your sister's shoes with my own wedding, so I'm just going to lay this out there...
You are about to make what seems like an already fucking rocky relationship with her even worse. She gave you time to consider, you agreed to a very generous offer and now are being a snotty brat about it. She paid for those tickets & your hotel. You don't get to whine about it.
We had a destination wedding and my sibling/their SO were suppose to be in the wedding. A week before, they told me they weren't going because they couldnt afford it. Parents offered to pay for flight & hotel. They declined. We had already paid for attire, flowers, food, etc for them. Imagine how pissed but more hurt I was that they didn't show. This was several years ago. Guess what? Now it's their turn to tie the knot. I've decided that I need to put my issues aside and be there for them. Point is ... get over the fact she tried to "ruin" your wedding. Holding on to those feelings isn't worth it.
I flew to Hawaii with an 18 month old. Yes, long flight but it can be done. Do your research first. Pack plenty of snacks, new toys, activities, clothes, diapers for the kids. Take advantage of the layovers to drain their energy! Have you flown with your kids before? My LO fell asleep upon each take-off and slept for two hours. Use the days before the first flight to alter their schedule so they nap then. Stop with the excuses.
Just based on your OP, and I don't know all of the deets obviously with your sister and your relationship, but she shouldn't flip, unless you've been high-maintenance in the past, have been a jerk, etc., and it's the last straw. Assuming you're a good lady, she's being dumb, and should let you pay the $50.
Post by lissaholly on Jan 12, 2013 21:34:03 GMT -5
OP you sorely need some perspective on this. I have had a rocky relationship with my younger sister, and I have attributed a whole lot of questionable motives to her actions because of this. I had to take a hard look at some situations to be unbiased. Here is yours, your sister is getting married and shelled out nearly $3000 so your whole family can attend. You an look at all the ways that she did this on her terms, whatever, but she did it. What do you win by questioning any of this? What do you loses?
That said, traveling with kids is hard; YOu chose to be parents AND to go on this flight. Own it. And really, isn't buying tickets kind of a pain in the ass? You see a price, wonder if you should do it, wait a little bit and lose that price altogether. So next time, you see a price you want and jump at it. Sure,it would be nice to be in control of be tickets being bought for you, but really? The tickets were BOUGHT FOR YOU, that is nice. Period.
Okay. So what I'm reading here is "My sister is a bitch for paying $2800 plus hotel costs for us to go to Hawaii for her wedding, and I'm pissed off because she didn't pay an extra $200 so I could be on the same flight as my parents so they could help with my children whether they really wanted to or not."
If you could afford the $50 difference, you should've been offering to give it to your sister to help out with the cost of tickets, not getting pissy that she didn't get you on the same flight. You need to thank and apologize to your sister, and plaster a grin to your face the whole time you're in Hawaii on her dime.
The cancellation fees and differences can sometimes be as much or more than the tickets, I'm guessing this wasn't the case? Aren't all long flights in the West-East direction red eyes? That's all I've taken from Hawaii-Mainland or US-Europe.
people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?
either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.
ETA: and "livid"? really? she was rude, but damn. first you refused to come to her wedding. then you decided only to come on HER dime. then you told her the tickets she paid for weren't good enough. i think there's enough ill behavior to go around here.