OMG I am livid.

[Deleted]

Yes, I'm a lurker, but I really need somewhere to rant about his before I drive my H nuts.

So my sister is getting married in April, in Hawaii. We told her that it was quite likely that we couldn't afford to go, but we hoped she had a good time. She was realllllly insistent that we go, and said she would pay for our hotel and flight. From past experience with her, mixing money and our relationship doesn't work. Ever. She gets all entitled and bossy about it.

My mom talked me into accepting though, and the tickets were purchased. I asked her if she could book our tickets on the same flight as my parents and she said their flight was all sold out. We have to pay to check our bags, and there are insane layovers plus the return flight is redeye.

I was just checking the WestJet website (where my parents booked) because I was curious to see if anything had opened up, and there are now some tickets available on the same flight everyone is on. I called her to ask what the cancellation policy was for our flights, and she said that she didn't want to buy these other tickets because they were more expensive. Do you want to know the total price difference? $50.

I said we would pay the difference, as well as any cancellation fees and she totally flipped out. Started ranting about how I don't appreciate this, and she can't believe I don't want to go to her wedding, and it's ridiculous that I don't want to put our debt repayment on hold to go and on and on.

Now I really don't want to go. Like at all. I was already dreading the flight with a 2 year old and 1 year old, and this just makes it worse. And yes, I probably do sound like a spoiled bitch by complaining about this, but I definitely didn't ask her to pay for us.

Before new people read this and start flaming, maybe you could read my last post? on page 8? Thanks!

[amberatkins]

It sounds really frustrating and I would be annoyed too. But you can't change your sister, and getting worked up about it isn't going to help anything. Either go or don't go, but if you throw a fit about the way she's acting you're only increasing the drama.

[emsumm]

See, I would never miss one of my sister's weddings.
I'm sure from her perspective, you seem ungrateful. She probably paid a lot for the tickets and is bummed that you are complaining.

[Deleted]

people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?

either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.


ETA: and "livid"? really? she was rude, but damn. first you refused to come to her wedding. then you decided only to come on HER dime. then you told her the tickets she paid for weren't good enough. i think there's enough ill behavior to go around here.

[motzie]

You didn't ask, but you did accept, and now you're bitching about which exact flight? She's being a little dramatic asking you to put your debt repayment on hold, but I don't see how you can be livid over any of this.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:28:46 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

It sucks that she's being a snatch about it. But why is it so important to be on the flight with your parents?

It's not a huge thing, but I was looking for any way possible to make it easier on us. I'm really not looking forward to being on a red eye with a toddler who won't sleep unless he's in a bed.

[spankswife]

Just to be devil's advocate - If I was getting married, and wanted my sister to be there, so I bought her and her family tickets, and she called and tried to change them, I woud be super annoyed.

Once the tickets were booked, I wouldn't have even looekd for new ones. What's done is done.

[Deleted]

Why can't you change them yourself? Tickets should be in your name.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:30:45 GMT -5 cville said:

people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?

either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.

I am looking into changing the flights, but the ticket says it not refundable unless issued at a fully refundable fare. IDK what that means in terms of our tickets, but I'm not going to just make her eat the cost. That would be really bitchy. Also, when I agreed to go it was with her assuring me that she would clear the flights with us before she paid. That didn't happen, and I think it's the main reason I'm mad.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Jan 12, 2013 14:30:45 GMT -5 cville said:

people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?

either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.


ETA: and "livid"? really? she was rude, but damn. first you refused to come to her wedding. then you decided only to come on HER dime. then you told her the tickets she paid for weren't good enough. i think there's enough ill behavior to go around here.

*sits next to cville*

[smock]

Is there some back story here with your sister?

I would be incredibly hurt if my sister didn't make every effort to come to my wedding (even if that meant you going solo and leaving your H and kids behind). She bought your entire family plane tickets and your hotel, correct? It sort of sounds like you're still looking for reasons not to attend.

[Deleted]

you're not looking to refund the flight, you're looking to change it. call a ticket agent and look into it.

[ralphlauren]

I think you are kinda being a jerk here...

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:30:45 GMT -5 cville said:

people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?

either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.


ETA: and "livid"? really? she was rude, but damn. first you refused to come to her wedding. then you decided only to come on HER dime. then you told her the tickets she paid for weren't good enough. i think there's enough ill behavior to go around here.

Um... well I think our own financial security SHOULD come before paying for a trip. We just wiped out a good chunk of our savings on a new furnace, new hot water heater and a new (to us) car. After we bought all that, she announced her wedding plans.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:37:47 GMT -5 frkls said:

leave your kids with your inlaws

*gavel*

lol I wish. They won't do overnights, or even more than 3 hours.

[Deleted]

Ok, her wedding is 3 months away. She's probably stressed and has a billion things left to do and listening to her sister bitch about the flights that you didn't even have to pay for and how you want them changed over so that YOUR life will be easier?? Yeah, I'd be pretty unaccommodating, too. Sorry.

[emsumm]

Ok, and for real, if I was paying for my sister's whole family to fly to Hawaii, you can bet I'd get an economical flight. Come on.

[LeggsBenedict]

Your sister wants you at her wedding enough to fork over money for plane tickets and hotels for you. Don't be a dick about it.

[Deleted]

I'd ditch the h and the kids and go alone.

[nadasteph]

Jan 12, 2013 14:28:46 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

It sucks that she's being a snatch about it. But why is it so important to be on the flight with your parents?

Can you not see her Sig? She has two kids under two and I'm sure not only would she like some help but lay overs and red eye flights are ducking horrible with babies.

Op - Can you explain that to your sister

[emsumm]

Going solo is totally an option. I went by myself to my friend's wedding last year because tickets were too expensive to buy for the whole family. I didn't want to miss it because he is important to me.

[macmars45]

H and I paid for his sister and two nieces to come to our wedding OOS (for them) because otherwise they wouldn't have been able to come. Since we're not assholes we made the flights for reasonable hours and no huge layovers. Your sister is an asshole to book your return flight as a red eye & bad layovers knowing you have 2 kids under 3 IMO. Whether or not you're with your parents is eh though. It would be helpful/nice, but not required.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:38:44 GMT -5 jenmegs said:

Jan 12, 2013 14:30:45 GMT -5 cville said:

people, she already agreed to go. what happened to no backsies?

either get the flight information and change the flights--which should be in your own name anyway-- on your own, or deal with the flights you don't prefer, or don't go and recognize that this likely could be the end of your relationship with your sister. a series of shitty options, but that's what you've got available.


ETA: and "livid"? really? she was rude, but damn. first you refused to come to her wedding. then you decided only to come on HER dime. then you told her the tickets she paid for weren't good enough. i think there's enough ill behavior to go around here.

Um... well I think our own financial security SHOULD come before paying for a trip. We just wiped out a good chunk of our savings on a new furnace, new hot water heater and a new (to us) car. After we bought all that, she announced her wedding plans.

ah, i see. the wedding of your sister is a "trip." got it. not a major life event for your sibling and family.

you are allowed to say no to a destination wedding (and accept the familial fallout consequences), but you didn't say no. you said yes, let her pay for it, and then told her that her gift TO YOU for HER WEDDING wasn't good enough. unless she came into your house with a hammer and axe and broke both your furnace and water heater and then dropped a bomb on your old car necessitating a new one, i don't see how she's either responsible for your unfortunate financial situation, or how her generous offer TO FLY A FAMILY OF 4 TO HAWAII FOR A FREE VACATION/WEDDING was anything other than, um, generous.

not to mention that you could've just CHANGED THE TICKETS BY YOURSELF WITHOUT INVOLVING HER AT ALL.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:36:40 GMT -5 smock said:

Is there some back story here with your sister?

I would be incredibly hurt if my sister didn't make every effort to come to my wedding (even if that meant you going solo and leaving your H and kids behind). She bought your entire family plane tickets and your hotel, correct? It sort of sounds like you're still looking for reasons not to attend.

Yes, but I didn't want to make the OP even longer. Basically, we've never had a good relationship unless I bow to her every whim, but she's like that with everyone, so I shouldn't be surprised any more.

[LeggsBenedict]

somewhere on the knot, your sister is complaining about how she just wiped out a chunk of her wedding budget for her ungrateful sister.

[Deleted]

Oh, and this (waves arms around) is why destination weddings are nearly universally assy.

Unless you're a Kennedy.

[smock]

Ah. Flying your family to Hawaii=bowing to her whims.

It sounds like you and your sister are very, very similar.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Just pay the difference for the tickets that are in your names, like you offered to do in your OP and be done with it. JFC.

[LeggsBenedict]

Jan 12, 2013 14:46:24 GMT -5 frkls said:

there are two adults and two babies. how would a team of grandparents make this any easier?!

well frkls, you see, then there would be FOUR adults and two babies. and that would mean... something. and then it would be easier because reasons.

RED EYE!

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2013 14:46:24 GMT -5 frkls said:

Jan 12, 2013 14:43:04 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Jan 12, 2013 14:40:38 GMT -5 nadasteph said:

Can you not see her Sig? She has two kids under two and I'm sure not only would she like some help but lay overs and red eye flights are ducking horrible with babies.

Op - Can you explain that to your sister

there are two adults and two babies. how would a team of grandparents make this any easier?!

This can't be a serious question.