How many ways are there to destroy a portrait?

[zoidberg]

Oh god.

[janegold]

H is laying on my lap on the couch and I keep shaking him with laughter every time I come into this post.

[DotAndBuzz]

Jun 14, 2015 21:35:26 GMT -5 just said:

I feel like there's a baby's forearm joke here ...

There's nothing funny about a massive hulk arm reaching out to grab you, when you least expect it, and dragging you into portraiture Purgatory. 

[blondemoment123]

I keep going back and giggling at this pic lol

[livinitup]

So your DH overcame several personal/childhood deformities to be a well adjusted adult?? ... Celebrate it?

[blondemoment123]

Lol! H just walked in the room and asked why I'm laughing. I showed him the pic and he says "wtf is that?!"

[slcjess]

Sorry I disappeared. I had to call my mom. She hadn't seen the pic I texted her yet and literally gasped and said 'oh. Ugh! Oh! Well. Huh'.
I don't know that h realizes how bad it is. When she unveiled it everyone was like oh cool! Looks great! I just said wow abut 13 times. My mom suggested hanging it on the back of a decoration I like and flipping it around when she comes.

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 21:45:48 GMT -5 livinitup said:

So your DH overcame several personal/childhood deformities to be a well adjusted adult?? ... Celebrate it?

I'm so freaking glad he grew into that arm. 

[Patsy Stone]

Jun 14, 2015 21:28:07 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

This reminded me of this:

This is exactly what I thought of too!

[Deleted]

Jun 14, 2015 21:28:07 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

This reminded me of this:

my thought too omg so funny. and yes that is just so awful and yes he does look like a used car salesman wtf is that about

[DotAndBuzz]

Ooh! You could use it for Halloween, and randomly put it different places to scare the shit out of him. Like when your h is in the shower, place it so he sees the reflection in the mirror when he opens the curtain. "Greetings from your past!"

[textbookcase]

Goddamn. That's the most glorious piece of art I've ever seen.

[gretchenindisguise]

Jun 14, 2015 21:55:56 GMT -5 DotAndBuzz said:

Ooh! You could use it for Halloween, and randomly put it different places to scare the shit out of him. Like when your h is in the shower, place it so he sees the reflection in the mirror when he opens the curtain. "Greetings from your past!"

Yes. This is definitely the answer.

[pittsmcgee]

Oh.

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 21:55:56 GMT -5 DotAndBuzz said:

Ooh! You could use it for Halloween, and randomly put it different places to scare the shit out of him. Like when your h is in the shower, place it so he sees the reflection in the mirror when he opens the curtain. "Greetings from your past!"

And then when he asks why I keep moving it I'll be like what? I haven't touched it.  It must be using that arm to get itself off the wall and pull itself nearer to you. 

[themysteriouswife]

H and I both laughed until we cried. He said he was sorry. I can't get over the used car salesman.

Make your H handle this and answer any and all questions about it.

[rosiebear]

OMG I cannot stop laughing. This is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

My mom tried her hand at this, too. My sister had two boys: one portrait turned out cute and looking like him, the other looked like Herman Munster. When mom painted these, I had no kids, so I got a portrait of my cat.

[sterl724]

Will your mil ask/look for it next time she is there?

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 22:02:07 GMT -5 themysteriouswife said:

H and I both laughed until we cried. He said he was sorry. I can't get over the used car salesman.

Make your H handle this and answer any and all questions about it.

Thank you, MysteriousH, for your sympathy. 

[lime]

This thread just does not disappoint.

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 22:04:13 GMT -5 sterl724 said:

Will your mil ask/look for it next time she is there?

Yes. And she has no qualms in instructing me where I should hang things instead of where they are. 
This woman hung (another!) picture she painted on my wall when I was on my homeymoon. And made my bed. Boundaries. They have none. 

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 22:06:00 GMT -5 pinkplasticdoll said:

I think your only answer is to pack up leave in the middle of the night and the only thing that shall remain is this picture, never give a forwarding address.

Do you have to actually witness a murder to get into the witness protection program? I feel like this should qualify me. 

[themysteriouswife]

Jun 14, 2015 22:06:47 GMT -5 slcjess said:

Jun 14, 2015 22:04:13 GMT -5 sterl724 said:

Will your mil ask/look for it next time she is there?

Yes. And she has no qualms in instructing me where I should hang things instead of where they are. 
This woman hung (another!) picture she painted on my wall when I was on my homeymoon. And made my bed. Boundaries. They have none. 

It's past time to set them.

[Nonny]

Hang it on your front door. You'll never be bothered by Jehovah's Witnesses or scammy tree trimmers ever again.

[killercupcake]

That's... precious.


Eeeesh.

[LeggsBenedict]

Jun 14, 2015 22:06:47 GMT -5 slcjess said:

Jun 14, 2015 22:04:13 GMT -5 sterl724 said:

Will your mil ask/look for it next time she is there?

Yes. And she has no qualms in instructing me where I should hang things instead of where they are. 
This woman hung (another!) picture she painted on my wall when I was on my homeymoon. And made my bed. Boundaries. They have none. 

oooh, guuurl, we could talk about this.

I'm sorry about your horrifying husband.

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 22:36:05 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

Jun 14, 2015 21:24:49 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

Wat. Why does that baby look like a used car sales man?

..and From the 1950's

...who wants to make you into a skin suit

[suzyp]

I'm sorry. I cannot stop laughing. That is glorious

[slcjess]

Jun 14, 2015 22:36:16 GMT -5 LeggsBenedict said:

Jun 14, 2015 22:06:47 GMT -5 slcjess said:

Yes. And she has no qualms in instructing me where I should hang things instead of where they are. 
This woman hung (another!) picture she painted on my wall when I was on my homeymoon. And made my bed. Boundaries. They have none. 

oooh, guuurl, we could talk about this.

I'm sorry about your horrifying husband.

Thank you. He grew into his arm and teeth. I'm pretty sure he won't kill me in my sleep, so. There is that. 
ETA- unless the portrait drives him to madness! Someone needs to watch the utah obits and make sure mil takes the rap for my murder, not my h. 

[cville]

May 10, 2012 7:50:51 GMT -5 decemberwedding07 said:

If we ever want to have exciting drama-filled days that distract us from important current events and ease campaign period infighting, we will need some strangers. Who want to find a blogger with a lot of overprotective friends to make fun of?

Well, we've all witnessed the murder of good taste, talent, and perspective tonight.