New Relationship....Advice. All signs say no!

[bluejen22]

Hi All. A little backstory on me. I am 33 years old and recently divorced. I filed end of Sept, husband moved out end of November and divorce was final January 5. I decided to keep the house and I have been working 2 jobs, busting my butt. I have been dating and hanging out with guys. One guy I met, doesn't have his license, 3 DUIs, childsupport for 3 kids, but he lives about a mile away and we have a lot of fun together. He has basically stayed at my house the past week and I have known him for 3 weeks. We have gone to watch baseball games at the bar, he took me to breakfast, saw a movie together, he mowed my lawn, grocery shopped together, he has grilled out, etc. Well, I know he has an alcohol problem and he actually peed my bed the other night. I woke up and my shirt was soaking wet, he was on the floor sleeping. he LEFT me in the bed! Thank goodness I have a waterproof mattress pad. Anyways, I got off work last night, he wasn't responding to my texts, I figured he got shit faced and passed out. I went to his apartment to see if he was home, his apt door was unlocked, so I let myself in. I reached down to touch him and soaking wet. He peed himself again!!! I yelled at him to get in the shower and I told him I would take him over to my place to sleep. (His coworker lives around the corner and takes him to work because he does not have a license.) I enjoy his company- he is someone to hang out with, but I am not sure I should continue things with him. I do love waking up and having sex in the morning, but not if I have to act like his mother. My best friends have told me to CUT THE CORD and no longer talk to him. Advice!?!?

[TR]

I don't want to sound mean, but are you serious? This guy is a loser.

[jigsy]

Girl. No. How is this a question.

[bluejen22]

Exactly. I do actually like the guy though. I am not a loser, so why am I drawn to him? Convenience? attention?

[jojoandleo]

Dude, he peed in your bed. Why is this a question? There are plenty of fun guys out there without this baggage. Homeboy needs to fix HIMSELF before dating. I could overlook the DUIs and Child Support if he had changed. He hasn't. No. HE has to do that work HIMSELF. You can't fix him.

[arielroux]

I got angry just reading this.

Nope.

No way.

I don't even understand how you can still like someone who left you covered in HIS urine in YOUR bed. That alone would be enough to turn me off forever.

[arielroux]

Also, you deserve better than this. Don't let yourself get sucked into his mess.

[bluejen22]

I'm thinking of packing up all his shit tonight and telling him he needs to get it.

[bl]

This is a huge flag. If you aren't already in therapy I think you should look into it. I am not saying that to be mean, but something seems off here.

[Deleted]

Yeah. No. I understand you want to fill a void but he's pissing your bed and has alcohol issues that he is not actively fixing. This will only cause you issues long term.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2016 12:36:28 GMT -5 mp said:

Apr 20, 2016 12:33:00 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

I'm thinking of packing up all his shit tonight and telling him he needs to get it.

Did you start dating after Jan 5? How much stuff of his can you have during a 3 mo relationship? This whole thing sounds like an unhealthy disaster.

No girl. Three weeks. She's known him three weeks.

[cuddlyevil]

You've known him for how long and he's stayed at your house for a week? AND he's peed your bed??

Dude, boot his ass out, run into therapy and don't look back.

[doriswe]

I'm stuck on why you already had waterproof mattress cover on your bed. Is that a normal thing?

[cuddlyevil]

Apr 20, 2016 12:26:46 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

Exactly. I do actually like the guy though. I am not a loser, so why am I drawn to him? Convenience? attention?

Only you can really answer that.

Best guess is attention and ego boost. But really he shouldn't be staying at your house after only 3 weeks--you barely know him.

[bluejen22]

He only stays at my house while I am there. I don't let him stay there alone. He lives close. Sleeping together in the same bed is nice.

[doriswe]

Apr 20, 2016 12:40:25 GMT -5 mp said:

Apr 20, 2016 12:39:31 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm stuck on why you already had waterproof mattress cover on your bed. Is that a normal thing?

I have dogs, I have a cover, too.  

lol...fair enough! I guess I only associate them with kids beds

[doriswe]

Apr 20, 2016 12:41:18 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

He only stays at my house while I am there. I don't let him stay there alone. He lives close. Sleeping together in the same bed is nice.

Until he pees on you.

[bluejen22]

I have the cover because I am a squirter. Obviously, a turn off to my neighbor who I was hooking up with in February.

[jojoandleo]

Apr 20, 2016 12:39:31 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm stuck on why you already had waterproof mattress cover on your bed. Is that a normal thing?

I've always had one on my bed. Not because of pee, but I have pets and love to eat cereal in bed.  It's a lot easier to wipe down a cover than to clean a mattress due to wet dog/cereal milk spill.  It's not something I ever really thought about either...

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2016 12:41:21 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Apr 20, 2016 12:40:25 GMT -5 mp said:

I have dogs, I have a cover, too.  

lol...fair enough! I guess I only associate them with kids beds

Yeah I feel like it's common to protect the mattress between periods, normal spills, and my animals. I have a vengeful/spiteful dog who like to drizzle pee pee. 

[arielroux]

Apr 20, 2016 12:39:31 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm stuck on why you already had waterproof mattress cover on your bed. Is that a normal thing?

I have one...I had dogs, and I get wicked night sweats like the week before my period (you're welcome for that info, lol). I'd rather wash a mattress cover than deal with a sweaty mattress. 

[bluejen22]

Yes, I shouldn't be accepting this sort of behavior. I have worked too hard in my life to let him bring me down. Either he wants to change or doesn't, but I can find someone else pretty easily.

[doriswe]

I'm fascinated by the mattress cover thing...and the need to get an uninvited golden shower on the regular.

[jigsy]

He peed on you. You like waking up next to someone who peed on you? And you like to have morning sex with someone who peed on you? You like to have morning sex in pee puddles?

And you went to his home, after only knowing him for 3 weeks, walked in without being invited to find him passed out covered in pee yet again...and your first reaction was to invite him back to your place?

WUT?

[bluejen22]

Haha!! I'm cracking up about that. He told me last week that he didn't want me to see his place because of what happens sometimes. He let me see it last Friday and it was pretty filthy. My BFF calls it the "Piss Palace." I have been helping to do his laundry at my place.

[bluejen22]

I agree that I shouldn't have gone to his place and just barged in. My friend told me that was BSC.

[Deleted]

Yeah it's time to cut him loose. You do deserve better.


Is now the time to tell the story of when I puked on a guy's dick when I was drunk? One more reason to get a waterproof mattress protector doriswe

[bluejen22]

@lemonlover, been there!

[doriswe]

Apr 20, 2016 12:48:23 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

Haha!! I'm cracking up about that. He told me last week that he didn't want me to see his place because of what happens sometimes. He let me see it last Friday and it was pretty filthy. My BFF calls it the "Piss Palace." I have been helping to do his laundry at my place.

WTF??? Dude....DUUUDDDEEEEE. He needs more help than you should be willing to give him!

[bluejen22]

doriswe, I know. I've just been trying to help him. For what its worth, he did tell me he wanted to come over last night and that's why I showed up at his place.