I feel terrible even eliciting sympathy about this. Ridiculous. I'm surprised at how negative I feel, and the extreme guilt I have over this being a spontaneous, genetic pregnancy. I don't want Lydia to ever feel like an outsider.
You moved MOUNTAINS to get Lydia. She was so extremely wanted and longed for. I can't imagine her ever feeling any different because you had an accidental pregnancy after hers.
Quoting so you can read this again because it's so so true.
(((RexManningDay))) I can't even imagine the thoughts swirling around your head. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to digest all of this.
Post by rupertpenny on May 16, 2016 7:57:53 GMT -5
Hugs, Rex. Not being happy about being pregnant when you feel like you should be is such a difficult place to be in. No matter what happens I doubt Lydia will feel like an outsider because you would never treat her as an outsider.
You moved MOUNTAINS to get Lydia. She was so extremely wanted and longed for. I can't imagine her ever feeling any different because you had an accidental pregnancy after hers.
Quoting so you can read this again because it's so so true.
(((RexManningDay))) I can't even imagine the thoughts swirling around your head. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to digest all of this.
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Tritto! I don't know your story but so much this. Take your time digesting this. It is a huge thing even when planned.
Post by squirrelymom on May 16, 2016 8:01:12 GMT -5
And be kind to yourself. Even planned pregnancies are a mindfuck when that line appears.
Unplanned? Well, with F I probably took 10 pregnancy tests "just to be sure" (lol). In my defense, I was 19,ignorant, and baby having technology wasn't quite so advanced by then. Plus, you know, denial can be a beautiful thing. Ha.
DD wasn't planned either--I was on birth control. 23, junior/senior year of college, had one already and neither me or H made more than $13/hr. I accepted that one a little sooner, but it took quite a while to determine how I felt about it. And quite is an understatement.
I feel terrible even eliciting sympathy about this. Ridiculous. I'm surprised at how negative I feel, and the extreme guilt I have over this being a spontaneous, genetic pregnancy. I don't want Lydia to ever feel like an outsider.
She would never. The lengths you went to, and the love you feel for her? Not possible. Not to mention you are a wonderful mom. You will get through this, no matter what you decide.
I think your feelings are completely understandable. Especially on top of things you've shared lately. Please make sure to take care of yourself, and don't forget the Rx either.
Post by cinnamoncox0 on May 16, 2016 8:14:19 GMT -5
Wow Rex. All the hugs. Lydia was so so wanted you did so much and went through so much to bring that lovely girl into the world I can't imagine she would ever feel less than on account of this. ((Hugs)) this is a lot to take in. I wish you all the best.
Post by compassrose on May 16, 2016 8:25:46 GMT -5
((Hugs)) sorry, too, for my flippancy. You're in a complicated place. But I cannot imagine your daughter ever thinking you love her any less than completely. She will already be secure in that knowledge before this baby is ever born.