Lucy wants me to kick H out.

[mooselovah]

You are smart.
Lucy is very smart.
You will both be ok. You will come out on the other side whole.

[underwaterrhymes]

Sept 8, 2016 21:47:47 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Sept 8, 2016 21:46:36 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

I love that you were a badass at 6 years old.

I was born a salty adult.

I wish I had been born a salty adult.

My father was not a good spouse to my mother. He hurt her in other ways and she forgave him over and over again and in the long run it was far more devastating to all of us than if she had divorced him when he did it the first time.

I love both of my parents and I think just about everyone here knows what I've been through with both of them (which is obviously a very different scenario than this) but I wish I was a badass as a child so I could have helped my mom realize she was better without him.

[kevin arnold]

Big hugs. I know this is the scariest, hardest shit you can deal with. But you ARE doing a great job. You're so, so close. Please please reach out to your support system, friends, family, whoever you have there for you and tell them you're ready to leave and you need their help. You can make a plan and make it happen. You can do this, trust yourself.

[Jermys]

Sept 8, 2016 21:54:01 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Sept 8, 2016 21:47:47 GMT -5 Jermys said:

I was born a salty adult.

I wish I had been born a salty adult.

I probably would have been better off if I'd been less mouthy. I got the shit kicked out of me a lot for not knowing when to shut up.

[Elsa]

I am not kidding that I will come be there for you if you need me. Give me a little notice and I will book a ticket. Because I adore you and your babies and think you all deserve to live the best life. And this isn't it right now. You deserve so much more.

[kevin arnold]

Lucy is your biggest cheerleader right now.

[kevin arnold]

Once you make the decision, reach out to someone with your plan, start putting the plans in place...you're going to go on adrenaline at that point. What seems insurmountable and impossible right now will suddenly be possible, the will and the guts and the pride will come from somewhere deep inside you. You're gonna be able to do it. I promise. The HARDEST part is step 1. You are so, so close.

[05heel]

Sept 8, 2016 22:00:48 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Big hugs. I know this is the scariest, hardest shit you can deal with. But you ARE doing a great job. You're so, so close. Please please reach out to your support system, friends, family, whoever you have there for you and tell them you're ready to leave and you need their help. You can make a plan and make it happen. You can do this, trust yourself.

all of this. There are so many women in your situation who are doing all the wrong things. You're not one of them, and I wouldn't lie to you. You're almost there! We're having a virtual pizza party when you throw his ass out.

[Deleted]

Are you worried about your physical safety? Or about the huge fight that will likely follow?

If you are worried for your safety, please talk to your counselor. He/she should be able to point you in the right direction for resources that can help you get out safely. I do not want you to be in physical danger but there are ways to get around that.

If you are more worried about the verbal abuse this will spark, I know that's hard too but I know you can do it. It will totally suck right now, but it will be SO WORTH IT in the end.

I remember repeating to myself many times while I was splitting up with my XH - "this sucks that I have to put up with this now, but this is the last time I'll have to deal with this. Once I get through this part I never have to fight with him again".

A song that brought me a lot of comfort during that time was "The war is over" by Kelly Clarkson. I still get goosebumps when I hear it. It was so wonderful when the war was finally over.

[nicbreeful]

Also, I believe there are advocates/volunteer workers that offer their services to be present when abused (verbal or physical) spouses inform their partner that it's over. If you truly are worried about something bad or dangerous, the police or one of these advocates will be present when you need them. You should google them. Help is definitely available

[fuckyourcouch]

Fuck him.

You deserve so much better and Lucy knows it. You can do it. You don't have to continue feeling this way. You are strong and capable and you will be fine.

[Captain Serious]

Hugs to you.

Hugs to little Jermeys.

[boxertdog]

Why are you still there?

[boxertdog]

Sept 8, 2016 21:34:27 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Sept 8, 2016 21:32:35 GMT -5 05heel said:

What do you mean, "in a way" it gives you some clarity. There's no way you're being honest with yourself right now.

I guess clarity isn't the right word. I'm so scared to even begin the conversation. He's so angry all the time. I'm afraid something bad will happen

I didn't see this post before I posted. If you are worried you're in danger, please stay safe, get help. There are organizations that can help you get out of there safely with your daughter. Take care.

[sofamonkey]

It is time for you to accept the help you are being offered. You know what you want, but you need help. You also don't want to bother anyone, so you're trying to wait until you're able to do it on your own. The thing g is, you aren't on your own, and you haven't been for a bit. There are tons of not local gals to support you emotionally, and local gals ready to knock on your door at a moment's notice.

You are stronger than you know. You are braver than you realize. You are more loved than you will believe for a very long time. Now is the time to accept help. You can do this, and all you have to do is say that you're ready.

[puddleofgrace]

I'm sitting here reading this, choking on my fucking tears.
Again, all I can tell you is I love you and am here to support you any way I can.

[happywife]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're amazing and so is L. Sending you hugs and strength .

[speckledfrog]

The chucklefucks in this post who are being smug jerks to Profart can fuck right off.


Profart, I am rooting so hard for you. You aren't fucking anything up, you are doing what you can in a crap situation. You are a great mom and you are raising kick ass kids.

[underwaterrhymes]

Sept 8, 2016 22:34:05 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

ok, I'm going to be blunt.

what do you need to do this? seriously. give us an amount, give the locals an address to meet you at, times you need the kids watched to get things in order, anything and everything.

you're stuck. let us help you get moving.

this is not a fluff post. quote me back and tell us how we can help you. right now. tonight.

I'm not close, but if you need a safe space for you and the kids, we have space. I mean it.

[isabel]

Chiming in in solidarity. Your daughter is wise. Listen to her. Don't look back. Let this feeling be the beginning of the end so that you and your kids can move forward with your lives. So many hugs. You've got this!

((puddleofgrace))

[Deleted]

You have done nothing wrong, listen to your daughter. Not listening to her is the bad move. Go see your therapist and make a plan. They can help you lay a framework for how to move forward. You can do this. It is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done but you have to do it. Don't let the fear of upsetting him stop you. You are not in this alone in this. We are here for you. Your friends and family will support you. All you have to do is ask.

[aussiecrush]

Everything you need to this is already inside of you, even when you didn't see it, you were giving that strength to your daughter. Huge hugs.

[riverrider]

I was in that exact same place. Husband was a drunk and angry all the time. He didn't help out at home and repeatedly let me know if I didn't do something to his standards.

I knew I needed to leave but just couldn't. It took my now 13 year old, he was 10 at the time, to rush into my bedroom one night while his dad was in the shower and tell me he was ready to not live with his dad. That he hadn't seen me happy in a long time and that made him sad.

I knew then that I needed to get out sooner than I could make myself do it.

I know I am a lurker and you don't know me but PM if you need anything. I'm not close to you but I would be more than happy to help with what ever I can.

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2016 22:34:05 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

ok, I'm going to be blunt.

what do you need to do this? seriously. give us an amount, give the locals an address to meet you at, times you need the kids watched to get things in order, anything and everything.

you're stuck. let us help you get moving.

this is not a fluff post. quote me back and tell us how we can help you. right now. tonight.

YES. What do you need? You're not alone.

[nicbreeful]

These words sound like lip service or just woo-woo standard words.. But I swear it's not.

The first step is absolutely the hardest. That one step that you take and tell him to fuck off to hades and to stay there will be one of the hardest things you do. But you will feel SUCH a weight off your shoulders.

Will every day be easy? No. And you might end up kicking your own ass some days and thinking you made the wrong choice. But I absolutely swear to you, in the end? You will be happier than you can possibly imagine. And Lucy will be too.

If you're not ready to do it, we understand. Then again.. No one is ever ready like they think they need to be. You just do it and everything falls where it does after. And that's when you see that you were ready all along.

[Jermys]

Sept 8, 2016 22:37:40 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Sept 8, 2016 22:34:05 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

ok, I'm going to be blunt.

what do you need to do this? seriously. give us an amount, give the locals an address to meet you at, times you need the kids watched to get things in order, anything and everything.

you're stuck. let us help you get moving.

this is not a fluff post. quote me back and tell us how we can help you. right now. tonight.

I'm not close, but if you need a safe space for you and the kids, we have space. I mean it.

Really, you could go anywhere in our area and be covered. Chicagoland is chock full of us.

[puddleofgrace]

Sept 8, 2016 22:34:05 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

ok, I'm going to be blunt.

what do you need to do this? seriously. give us an amount, give the locals an address to meet you at, times you need the kids watched to get things in order, anything and everything.

you're stuck. let us help you get moving.

this is not a fluff post. quote me back and tell us how we can help you. right now. tonight.

It's not that easy.I wish it were.

But I would do ANYTHING in the world to help her.

[eb777888]

Sept 8, 2016 22:34:05 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

ok, I'm going to be blunt.

what do you need to do this? seriously. give us an amount, give the locals an address to meet you at, times you need the kids watched to get things in order, anything and everything.

you're stuck. let us help you get moving.

this is not a fluff post. quote me back and tell us how we can help you. right now. tonight.

QFT

[puddleofgrace]

I fucking love you,tators
:-P

[Deleted]

He's emotionally abusive to you. He's emotionally abusive to your beautiful children.

I know the fear is crippling. My heart breaks for you. He will not change.