Burn it down. This school won’t be running much longer and I can imagine that sadly your DD isn’t the only one who they are letting fall through the cracks. They are failing the other kid as well.
My heart breaks for you guys. You seem like amazing parents. Your DD is lucky to have you guys as her advocate.
I am appalled and outraged on your behalf. This situation has gone from bad to worse. Not only were they incapable of keeping your child safe, but they are now outright refusing to even try. Every child in that school is at risk. I want to reiterate that you are handling this situation beautifully as a parent and an advocate.
BTW, do you know if they have reported the incident yet?
I would pull her in a heartbeat. And not for nothing, but her last statement doesn’t even make any fucking sense. I know what she means, but’s it’s wrong. I’d expect more from someone who is educating young minds, for God’s sake.
JFC. I think the ONLY potential reason to stay would be if your dd really wanted to AND the school has followed the action plan and reported appropriately. Since neither of these is true, pull her. Pull her now, tell them exactly why. Document every step of this process and submit to the licensing board, highlighting the fact that they "DIDN'T KNOW" the expectations of reporting and that they couldn't comply with a simple, well-documented, signed action plan. And send all of that to your fucking phone tree, too. And let them know how easily the public school is accomodating you.
I suspect their handling is incompetence [ETA: that's not really a strong enough word... negligent, compassion-less fucking buffoonery..?] and not really just trying to save this one kid's tuition check, but I'd make sure the word was spread FAR AND WIDE just in case.
Post by pegasuskat on Apr 11, 2018 20:36:37 GMT -5
He should be removed period. It doesn’t matter that your DD won’t be there after this year. Other girls will and they are proving they won’t be protecting them. He has had no therapy yet, his actions today prove he isn’t sorry. And him talking about it prove they still aren’t monitoring enough. I’d give all info to your lawyer and push it all the way even with DD in another school.
And I would make sure every family there, especially those with little girls, know just how safe the environment is. They are protecting the kid that sexually assaulted your daughter.
Post by dropitlikeitshott on Apr 11, 2018 21:04:31 GMT -5
I just caught up. I don't have words. As a former educator, I am shocked at how the school has handled this. You have every right to go after them with everything you can. Licensing, news, lawyers I would do it all.
I'm so sorry your daughter had to go through even more today. The school has continued to do nothing to protector her. WHY is it that we are continue to allow boys to assault our girls(I say this as a mom of a boy). It's not okay.
You are doing an amazing job protecting your daughter and following her wishes. You are the kind of mom I aspire to be.
You, your H, and your amazingly brave little girl are all doing a great job handling this terrible situation that just keeps on getting worse.
I'd pull her from the school immediately. Call a SAHM friend and ask her to help while you make the switch. Anyone with an ounce of compassion (good friend or just acquaintance) would be more than happy to help you out if you need help while you're at work. (& I say that as a SAHM who usually says not to always rely on SAHP to be ready/willing/able to help'just because they dont have to report to work every day. That doesn't apply here. At all.)
ETA: I wouldn't worry about absences, either. These are extenuating circumstances, and even IF they send a truancy person to check it out, you have a very valid reason. It's a transition out of a terrible environment, not monthly vacations to CA and weekly "sick" days. I would be SHOCKED if they pursued it beyond, "oh. That's awful. We know you'll have her settled into a good environment as soon as it's safe and possible. KOKO."
Following this makes me so furious for your daughter. I cannot even imagine having to parent my girls through this. You are doing an amazing job advocating for your daughter. Since you have a lawyer, I think at this point I would considering requiring all communication be through him, because they are clearly not getting the seriousness of this situation. Fuck that school. Stay strong Mama, your daughter is lucky to have an incredible female role model showing her how to fight for what is right and stand up for herself.
Since it looks like you will be pulling her, I'd just be very clear with your daughter that her moving is completely because the adults did not keep their promise and are not good enough for her, so you want to take her to a school where the adults will do a better job of listening to her and following the rules like they should. (Or some variation that works for her mindset.) She did all of the right things and you want to help by surrounding her with adults that can help her continue to be so awesome. And at least with my child I would help her understand that counseling is to help her have the tools to make her voice work when she is scared. It's not because she didn't react properly, but it's to empower her so she won't have to feel scared like that again.
But your seem to be pretty awesome parents that would help her understand that anyway. You and your husband have handled this so well. I'd like to say I would too, but in the heat of the moment you've shown your are made of great stuff.
Post by liverandonions on Apr 12, 2018 0:00:06 GMT -5
I just caught up. I am so sorry you’re all dealing with this violation, but you’re handling it like a mama bear! Your daughter is awesome and it sounds like it’s because she has parents who will fight for her.<3
What the FUCK. At this point I'd be hiring an attorney, getting my kiddo examined by a child psychiatrist, suing the FUCKING PANTS OFF THEM, and contacting the local news station as well.
I'm so sorry for your daughter. Know that she will be happy anywhere you put her.
Post by mrsukyankee on Apr 12, 2018 3:00:21 GMT -5
OMG. I've been a school counsellor and I'd be burning down shit. Everything they are doing goes against what should happen in a school in this situation. EVERYTHING. I'd pull her, letting her know that it's about the school and not her. And then I'd report that school to the state and to Montessori. They should not be running if this is how they handle things. You are being a great and supportive mum (and your H is being amazing too) - that's what your daughter will know.
So the other students were talking about it today and asking him if it was true? Him denying it and your DD had to hear and relive it throughout the day? F that!
Seems like parents will be hearing about this from their kids. School is screwed and will be backpedaling trying to cover up their mistakes. They suck and I hope they suffer serious consequences
Post by Leeham Rimes on Apr 12, 2018 7:07:45 GMT -5
I’m so sorry that this is happening to your family and your daughter. This director is a joke. She doesn’t want to deal with anything difficult so she’s hoping you’ll just let it go and she can go on pretending nothing happened.
A similar thing happened at the bright horizons in my neighborhood, except it was a teacher who was the offender and not a student. The directors did the same bullshit of trying to ignore the situation and pass the responsibility to the child (and parents) that had been offended against.
Only when the news blew it up did anything change. They took it to the director, to CPS, to the state. Nothing happened until the news media blew shit up.
It’s so awful and I would sound every alarm I could, burn everything and everyone down in the process.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Unnecessary negative energy?! What the ever loving fuck?! How about the EXCESSIVE negative energy your poor DD is feeling from everyone in that school who has failed her. That director is bat shit crazy to think that everything can go back to rainbows and butterflies after that happened. Fuck her, fuck that school and fuck everyone who is turning a blind eye to this situation.
I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. It's not fair at all. They are victim blaming/shaming. Let the motherfucker BURN.