Did I miss something--why is he still in class with her again? That's unacceptable--and I'd venture to say, that whoever they are mandated reporters to, that agency will also find that a problem. What happens the next time these three chucklehead teachers are all gossiping together, not paying attention to their kids?
I just got off the phone with the local board and they have been contacted and will be there tomorrow morning. So we will see. He may be asked to leave and that may be part of why his parents are rushing to a psychologist.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
How does she even think she can start putting this on your DD? She already send an email saying she had a good day. I would keep pushing all the way because it seems she is going to flip this around and start blaming on her, this makes me sick for you. I would not trust another word she says and try and keep all contact to email now so you have proof.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Apr 12, 2018 10:07:32 GMT -5
lol at the school's email about how your child was "terribly behaved" yesterday. What a transparent attempt at retroactively covering their asses, which everybody knows works exactly 0% of the time.
At this point, I'd make sure to highlight that the problem is 10% what the little boy did and 90% the way that the adults in this situation are handling the situation. What happened was terrible (and I am NOT minimizing that), but could have been dealt with in a way that everyone could have moved forward safely and confidently. What has happened is THEIR inaction and destructive action have continued to cause even MORE problems for everyone.
If you decide to go to the news about this, I'd be sure to make that VERY clear. This is NOT about what that little boy did anymore. It's about what the school did/did NOT do in response to the situation and what they're continuing to do. Leave no room for people to twist this into "Little boy asks little girl to show her underwear and parents flip out." This IS NOT what is happening. The school is failing BOTH children at every single turn. Their poor supervision of a classroom allowed this to happen and they've continued to make the situation worse every single step of the way.
I’m so sorry that this is happening to your family and your daughter. This director is a joke. She doesn’t want to deal with anything difficult so she’s hoping you’ll just let it go and she can go on pretending nothing happened.
A similar thing happened at the bright horizons in my neighborhood, except it was a teacher who was the offender and not a student. The directors did the same bullshit of trying to ignore the situation and pass the responsibility to the child (and parents) that had been offended against.
Only when the news blew it up did anything change. They took it to the director, to CPS, to the state. Nothing happened until the news media blew shit up.
It’s so awful and I would sound every alarm I could, burn everything and everyone down in the process.
Wait - what? An adult forced a child to get naked for the adult and it was the child’a fault? What?
I’m so sorry that this is happening to your family and your daughter. This director is a joke. She doesn’t want to deal with anything difficult so she’s hoping you’ll just let it go and she can go on pretending nothing happened.
A similar thing happened at the bright horizons in my neighborhood, except it was a teacher who was the offender and not a student. The directors did the same bullshit of trying to ignore the situation and pass the responsibility to the child (and parents) that had been offended against.
Only when the news blew it up did anything change. They took it to the director, to CPS, to the state. Nothing happened until the news media blew shit up.
It’s so awful and I would sound every alarm I could, burn everything and everyone down in the process.
Wait - what? An adult forced a child to get naked for the adult and it was the child’a fault? What?
It was actually more than that but until the parents got a lawyer (whose casual car is a rolls royce, so Im thinking he doesn’t lose a lot) and they all went to the news media the school blamed the child and the co-teacher whom reported it, they moved the reporting teacher and not the sexual offender. They did not self report either and gas lit the parents when their child came home saying what the teacher did.
I can’t believe people still send their kids there to be quite honest. And at $2k/month.
Last Edit: Apr 12, 2018 12:02:33 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Oh, fuck her! She's implying that your daughter is somehow at fault for what happened because she was having a bad day? I get that she's probably making that up to twist things, but even if she was a holy terror that day, what the fuck kind of defense is that? One would have nothing to do with the other. What a shit director. She needs to be fired.
Last Edit: Apr 12, 2018 12:14:14 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Post by emoflamingo on Apr 12, 2018 12:44:27 GMT -5
I don’t usually delight in the karma bus hitting folks as they cross the street, but in this case, I’ll be on the sidewalk in a lawn chair like I’m waiting for the Fourth of July parade to start.
If you haven’t already, you and H need to document everything in writing while it’s fresh. Print every email received from the director or teachers and keep copies of any reports they may have sent home with her on her behavior if you have them.
Post by mrs.jacinthe on Apr 12, 2018 12:55:49 GMT -5
What the ever-loving hell. Light her ass on fire. (Not literally, of course.) I would not only contact every licensing board for schools you can find, I would also figure out who licenses teachers in your state and file a complaint against all three of the teachers in that room and the director - bonus points if you find out they're not actually licensed! (Some states don't require private school teachers to have actual, you know, teaching credentials). I would also contact every parent you know that has a child in that school, every tv station in town, and every newspaper worth their salt. And a lawyer, while everything is still fresh in your mind.
Wait - what? An adult forced a child to get naked for the adult and it was the child’a fault? What?
It was actually more than that but until the parents got a lawyer (whose casual car is a rolls royce, so Im thinking he doesn’t lose a lot) and they all went to the news media the school blamed the child and the co-teacher whom reported it, they moved the reporting teacher and not the sexual offender. They did not self report either and gas lit the parents when their child came home saying what the teacher did.
I can’t believe people still send their kids there to be quite honest. And at $2k/month.
Or if you don’t want to leak it, I am sure plenty of GBCN-er’s who would light it up for you if you mention the school and your area in a PM. You know you have the support of women from all over with kids and without kids in my case.
I hope they go down in flames. Literal or not so literal. Whatever works best for your family.
Post by definitelyO on Apr 12, 2018 14:23:04 GMT -5
I'm sorry that your DD was assaulted and has been exposed to how awful people can be. But - you and your DH are amazing in the way that you have brought her up to be this brave and in the way that you are making it right. I didn't want to read and not respond and hopefully the school will learn from this (doesn't seem like it - but maybe...) and at the very least your DD knows that she can trust you with everything and anything and maybe the boy will be able to get some needed help.
Post by sapphireblue on Apr 12, 2018 14:26:29 GMT -5
I would just go ahead and contact the news.
Also--I would tell the parents of kids in the school. This school clearly won't be telling them, and they also clearly don't give a shit about protecting them, and these parents need to know.
Post by downtoearth on Apr 12, 2018 14:33:14 GMT -5
This is terrible. I think you are handling it well and am glad you have documented your email train. We left a charter Montessori (public money with a parent-run board instead of school board and an administrator who was more business person than public administrator), so I can see how this can easily happen when a school is not run by professionals. You and your DH are doing well by your daughter and the rest of the kids in that school!
I don't know about the media part - I'd wait and go to them after their response... not because they are right, but only b/c I wouldn't want my kid, even tangentially, associated with the unprofessional response of that school at their new school. But I'm guessing I'm in a smaller city, so a new kid coming at the same time that this happened in the news might be noticed and otherwise wouldn't in larger places.
I would talk to a lawyer before you talk to the news about it.
I think it also really depends on you and what you're willing to deal with. Personally, I'd have to think about whether or not I'd like to pull the news into it. I'm not sure I'd be able to handle all of the keyboard warriors and nasty people who make judgments without having all of the information and I also wouldn't want to open my child up to other kids talking about the situation if people made the connection. I'm also not certain that I could trust my local news to highlight the TRUE problem instead of the initial incident. Judging from comments sections of other articles, I'd put money on the comments largely being "kids will be kids, and parents are overreacting" and I honestly don't know if I could take that while also helping my child through the situation. It would be tough to decide, though, because you also want to make sure that no other child is ever put in this situation at that school again. At the very least, I'd talk to a few trusted friends about this decision and wait a couple of days to make sure I had really thought through all of the potential outcomes of having it put on the news.
I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. You and your husband have been doing an excellent job advocating for her and for the safety of other kids who might encounter this boy.
If I were in your shoes, I'd probably look into lawyering up at this point and suing the fuck out of the school. Maybe they'll finally start taking things seriously rather than blaming your child. Their lack of response in infuriating.
I’m so sorry you and you’re family are having to go through this. I’d the director isn’t the owner of the school I really hope they do the right thing and fire her.
I agree with others, write down everything you’ve said and talked about with the director while it’s fresh in your head. Also, before you have any more interactions with the school I’d talk to your lawyer.
I may be wrong here and I’m not a lawyer but before I did anything else including contacting the news I would consult with them first.