i made a mistake that I later corrected. He received his work permit in Nov. Why are you so confrontational with the questions? What does her status have to do with anything? She is legal, if that's what you're wondering.
Well, yes, I am wondering because for her to come in with the 1-30 that is used for reuniting alien family member, her father either needs to be a Legal Permanent Resident (at the very least) to petition for her, OR you need to petition for her as a US Citizen with proof that you are legally married to her father. And if he is not of legal status, especially with more than a year of being illegal, the chances of them recognizing your marriage for that purpose is fucking slim to none.
I petitioned for her. We are legally married. Our marriage is obviously recognized. How else could I petition for him or her?
How come SD wasn't living with her mother? Or was her mother and husband living with the grandparents too?
Once H told SD's mother he was not planning to return to their country, she left SD. Moved to another country, married and has 2 kids now. She (SD's mom) visited SD and gps once in a while. They are on positive terms. Sd considers the children her sisters
I don't know that it was someone's "idea." I mean, early in our marriage we both expressed a desire to bring her here. What does it say about our situation if it was H's or my idea?
I don't know that it was someone's "idea." I mean, early in our marriage we both expressed a desire to bring her here. What does it say about our situation if it was H's or my idea?
She's met a few MLers, so I don't think she's a catfish.
Maybe a minnow.
This will absolutely not help my case here but I, sadly, have never met any MLers. I know of 1 poster here who lives in my town. Of whom I also have not met. I will not tag or mention her by name in case she does not care to be associated with me or this thread.
And I have officially reached the point of not believing any of this.
Between "he got his Green Card" to "no wait, he got the paperwork for his Employment Authorization" but no wait, "he is still waiting to have the hearing to determine residency"....... after being here illegally for 9 years I am all kinds of LOFL at this entire thing, especially being able to bring in a family member before the spouse is even finished the petition process.
I am fluent enough in their language that I get by. Not well, but I get by. I'm planning on signing up for a refresher class in the fall.
Her adoptive mother left her with my ILs (her adoptive grandparents) 4 years ago. That was heartbreaking. The mother has since gotten married, moved to a neighboring country and had 1 child and another on the way now. DSD has seen her adoptive mother a handful of times since then but nothing consistent. She (Mom), however, has been helping us on their end with paperwork, passports, etc. for DSD.
H and I have a 3 year-old boy together.
I get that you have a huge hard on for me, and not just in this thread. But, really, you are being ridiculous. He has his employment authorization card and SS number (both new as of Nov/Dec). Yesterday, we received an I797C to appear for the interview to complete his permanent residency application. And yes, the refresher course fell by the wayside but H is currently taking adult ESL classes. Not sure why the rest is quoted since it's basically what I've repeated in this thread.
Post by Captain Serious on Jan 30, 2015 18:34:17 GMT -5
@damnation
I have recommended repeatedly that you check out a book on parenting a hurt child. I realize that technically you are not fostering or adopting your SD, but in many respects, your situation is the same. Your SD does not know her father, even if they kept in touch over the phone. She has been removed from everything and everyone she knows. Sights, smells, food/tastes, even sounds are different. She has suffered deep, primal losses, first in the loss of her birth family, it seems, then in the virtual abandonment by her father (in her eyes, he left and wasn't there for her), then in the abandonment by her mother, and now in the fact that she has left everything she knew and was close to behind, most likely with very little say in the matter.
I'm not saying this recent move wasn't the best for her, but she is struggling, profoundly, and you cannot expect her to just get with the program. She needs a different kind of parenting. She needs therapy. In fact, you should all be in family therapy together. And, for the love of your SD and your family, please do some research into the parenting of hurt children. If you absolutely cannot find time to read a book, such as this one www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hurt-Child-Adoptive-Families/dp/1600062903, which I highly recommend, please, please, please at least take a few of these online courses:
I have recommended repeatedly that you check out a book on parenting a hurt child. I realize that technically you are not fostering or adopting your SD, but in many respects, your situation is the same. Your SD does not know her father, even if they kept in touch over the phone. She has been removed from everything and everyone she knows. Sights, smells, food/tastes, even sounds are different. She has suffered a deep loss, first in the virtual abandonment by her father (in her eyes, he left and wasn't there for her), then in the abandonment by her mother, and now in the fact that she has left everything she knew and was close to behind, most likely with very little say in the matter.
I'm not saying this recent move wasn't the best for her, but she is struggling, profoundly, and you cannot expect her to just get with the program. She needs a different kind of parenting. She needs therapy. In fact, you should all be in family therapy together. And, for the love of your SD and your family, please do some research into the parenting of hurt children. If you absolutely cannot find time to read a book, such as this one www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hurt-Child-Adoptive-Families/dp/1600062903, which I highly recommend, please, please, please at least take a few of these online courses:
Please don't just thank me. Please use these resources. I have offered up that book recommendation a few times. You have no idea how vital it is. It read like a handbook for my kids (although the behaviors discussed were more extreme than we faced, the emotions were exactly what we had to work through, and the techniques work).
Is this a state or local requirement? It's certainly not a federal one. All the school has to do is show that they are making reasonable ESL accommodations.
I have repeatedly recommended this to her, since before her SD arrived. She still has yet to read anything about this topic.
Shocking! I, along with others, suggested she have a family counselor in place to help with the transition way back when she first announced that SD would be coming to live with them. She said she wanted to wait until SD was here to do it. I said she should have it set up ahead of time and ready to go for when she arrived. That was months and months ago. She's done nothing AND she acts like she didnt realize this would be something they should do. Its come up many times over the last few months. BRAND NEW INFORMATION. Every time.
Because she is an ESL student, she is graded on an S/U basis. Overall, she is receiving S's. She has failed all tests and quizzes, has a D average for daily classwork and an A- for homework, most likely because she receives help completing it.
Is she in an ESL class? Are her teachers that are not ESL teachers aiming modifications for her?