I felt all weekend like I was fighting something off, and now I'm a little sick, but otherwise the weekend was good. Friday night I went out for a friend's birthday dinner, which was a lot of fun. Saturday I rested all day.
Yesterday I went to a coworker's superbowl party. Almost everyone there was a 49ers fan, so the energy dissipated fairly early on. What I took away from the halftime show is that Beyonce has a really good waxer and/or opaque tights and makeup under those fishnets.
The best part was that after I got home, the Puppy Bowl rerun was on, so I got to see the kitty halftime show.
I guess by encouraging us to be independent? It makes NO sense. He and one other gut replying talked about how they kicked off a "fad" of women being independent. Fucking idiots. That tidbit came out after I informed them that women were independent long before Destiny's Child.
Best part was that they couldn't really say what a traditional woman is/what she does. It was just about their roles as men and the woman could "stay home or have a job and I support her."
Mine is that a former coworker posted on FB that he hates Destiny's Child because they destroyed traditional women. I engaged in the argument. He and his friends are assholes.
I remember seeing something about procedures involving stem cells leading, in some instances, to people with weird growths, like bones growing in their faces where they shouldn't. That's reason enough for me to avoid this stuff, gross/wtf factor aside.
I'm glad to hear about the update. It sounds like you're moving in a healthy direction. Are you happy? I wondered how things were going, but I've been MIA so much, I thought I missed the boat.
kande! It's good to see you on here!
I am happy, for the most part/most days. Like I said before, 2012 was a shit-tastic year, and I'm still dealing with that. But now instead of focusing on how worried I am about my cat, I'm enjoying the time we still have together. I also moved on to a new job which I think had helped immensely. No more toxic coworkers and working lots of unpaid overtime.
One recent mental shift was this: I need to appreciate where MH is and what he is capable of contributing instead of focusing on what more I'm not getting that I want. I'm working on applying this throughout my life now, appreciating the present instead of focusing on the future or the past. That shift does help me feel more contented.
I just finally got out of bed. I was trying to sleep as much sf possible because last night when out with friends I felt like I kept flushing (fever maybe?) and I've been around lots of sick people, so I want to give my immune system the opportunity to fight it off. Now it's time for coffee.
Today I need to do laundry and exchange a pair of jeans I bought at Costco. Exciting day!
I went to my 10th, it was fine. Some people were still clearly assholes stuck in HS roles, but a lot of people were cool. I was surprised by some of the people who remembered me and wanted to talk. If they do a 15 year, it would be this year and I would consider going.
I know that the way I'm handling this may not be how everyone would react, and that by sharing I'm opening myself up to judgment, but I know I'm doing what I need. Even if this marriage ends, I will have grown as a person and will be better equipped to be a.good partner in the future.
Mags, I'm not sure how long we'll keep this living arrangement. For me, what's helping guide my decision is making progress in therapy. At some point we'll need to talk again about a time frame, which I want to do in therapy, but at this point all I can say for sure is that I'm not okay with us still living separately by the time the holidays roll around. Now that we're in therapy, I think the progress will be faster, but I don't want to rush or pressure either of us. I'm patient to a fault.
I'm not going to let this stop me from living my life, meaning I'm going to find a way to go on vacation this year, probably without him. In fact, I plan to come to NJ and MA this year, so I may try to convince you all to have a GTG while I'm there.
I'm doing okay with it, actually. I'm growing too, and seeing how I contributed to things, but not excusing his behavior, just understanding it differently. I think we're getting to know one another better through this. He didn't understand worry/anxiety as separate from me. He just knew that I have an anxiety disorder, so I'm anxious. Therapy is helping him to see when I'm reacting from that anxiety (and reminding me to work with my individual therapist on controlling it).
I hate that we live apart, but I've started making changes to the apartment that are things I want. It's nice tho not have to compromise on that.
Most importantly, he didn't just dip out of my life. He's here, and making an effort, and going to therapy every week with me. He's starting to do little things that he knows mean a lot to me, which is encouraging. Now it's trusting the process of therapy and being open to moving to a new apartment if/when we move back in together.
I hadn't talked about it because things were kind of stalled, no progress. We're in therapy now and it seems to be helping so far. We're a long way from where I want us to be, but we're moving in the right direction.
I didn't tell anyone, but we've been living separately. Still seeing each other often, talking daily, etc. No end date for the separation yet (it started before we got into therapy), which is one of the hardest things for me, but I think it's been good in a strange way. He's clearly making more of an effort and the positive changes we're both making are making our interactions a lot better.
ETA: By the separation being good, I mean that we have both become more independent and he's seeing that life without me around is just as hard, so he is changing his overall effort, which includes not playing video games as much, getting to sleep at a reasonable hour, and putting in more effort at work. He's been present for as much as he can with Scotty, but can finally admit when things are getting too emotionally overwhelming instead of just withdrawing.
I'm still trying to decide between two different Superbowl parties. One is with former coworkers and is about a 20 - 25 min drive away. This one will likely be lots of fun. The other is hosted by a current coworker (the one who got me my job) and will have other current coworkers there. This one may be less fun, depending on how the 49ers do, because the host is a HUGE fan. This party is about as far away as the other.
I got a recipe from Whole Foods for a sausage and quinoa one-pot supper. Maybe you could substitute veggie sausage for the turkey sausage? The flavors are amazing.
Also, there are a ton of recipes on the Whole Foods website.
Awww, Toothless! That character reminded DH and I of one of our cats at the time (Cleo, who died) so now I get kinda sad. But we have a "new" black cat, Sofia, who really is missing teeth.
Smock, you should watch How To Train Your Dragon! It's great.
Motzie, how scary for your friend. I will be thinking good thoughts for the family.
Bully, I'm glad you're feeling okay. Enjoy the junk!
It stings at first, especially anywhere that REALLY needs exfoliation, but the stinging subsides fairly quickly. The instructions tell you to use a cotton pad. Since my skin is sensitive, I sprinkle some onto my fingers and apply that way. It's also good for elbows, heels, scabs, basically any flaky/dry skin anywhere.
If there was more contrast between my hair and skin, especially on my legs, I'd totally get it done. I think my bikini area and underarms might be high enough contrast, but dammit I really want my legs done because my skin is so sensitive.
I think it can be if done tastefully, such as a lined lace shell under a blazer or a lined lace skirt (knee length, imo). The ones Chirp posted are not okay for work. I think that particular trend needs to die already. I dislike the crochet-back shirts and sweaters. Immensely.