Parking annoyed me. $15 in addition to admission? Crazy.
Does anyone have tricks on how to get into the park without paying for parking? We stayed at a Hyatt, not a Disney property, so we had to drive ourselves in a rental car.
It's my understanding that Disney says this is stealing to do some of the workarounds. $14 at WDW doesn't seem terrible to me to park.
I took my sister less than a week ago. A one day ticket (and this is with the new Fantasyland) is $89. You don't really need the hopper for adults if you plan what day to go carefully--the park was open 9-12midnight, and we had plenty of time to ride every single thing. We didn't even get there until 11, honestly.
The cheapest possible pass that is a great deal is what I have. $199 seasonal weekday pass. For two hundred bucks, as a Florida resident, I have been to the parks many times on weekdays as much as I want--and as a self-employed person, this is great. My husband and I loved to go.
I was widowed earlier this year very unexpectedly at 27.
You need life insurance.
We were DINKS (dual incomes, no kids) and very, very conservative with our money. So you think we wouldn't need life insurance...but almost every widow I've met that's younger has to be very careful with her money, including myself.
I can't tell you how many things I've had to pay for that took me by surprise and how incapacitated grief can make you. I literally have to pay ppl to babysit me to get me through the days sometimes. It's horrible.
Get the life insurance and I hope you never, ever have to use it obviously---but if you do, at least you have it.
Since my husband passed and I'm really far from family, I'm desperately seeking something like this. A personal assistant(aka adult babysitter) that could run a few errands and not let me eat fast food every day and pick up a little clutter and do a few administrative tasks for my business and bookkeeping. So far, I've had zero luck finding this OR grocery delivery OR a reliable cleaning person in my small town...so I have to do everything and my travel schedule is insane and I have no energy.
I'm not a doctor or a therapist, and this isn't my home board, but I was widowed by suicide in April, so this caused me to want to reach out and suggest to you to keep getting therapy and counseling help.
Please please do not hurt yourself. I care about you.
Have you done a safety plan? Ask your doctor about it---I wish we had known about this when my husband was depressed.
I don't have any other insight to add---I just wanted to say I cared and to please keep yourself safe.
Is this common in your hood? One of our neighbors just posted on the fb page that they went through 300 full size candy bars tonight? Wth.. We gave out 2 snack size chocolates per kid. Now I'm thinking we are the house with the bad stuff.
How is that possible? Wouldn't 300 full-sized bars be like $300? I don't know---candy went way up since the last time I bought it. I couldn't stomach $8/bag for little fun-sized.
Everyone here has had really good ideas/advice, and I apologize in advance if you've already talked about this somewhere or mentioned this and I have missed it, but did where your Husband worked have an EAP (Employee Assistance Plan)? My employer has an EAP that offers assitance to spouses, which I know includes some free counseling visits...this may be something worth looking into, I'm not sure...?
Otherwise, I definitely agree that a High Deductible HSA health plan may be a great option, and I would DEFINITELY talk to your therapist - when I was going through my divorce my therapist worked with me on cost....it never hurts to ask/talk about it with your therapist
They do have an EAP service--it's contracted out. They contacted me when Steve first died through email (through my business) and I never did anything about it. I got the sense that I needed to do it as soon as possible and I honestly just couldn't cope and make appointments and all that at the time.
So many decisions and ppl contacted me and just overwhelmed me and I never responded to half of it. I remember it was 3 free sessions, but it takes me about 6 sessions just to tell what happened, honestly. It's horrible.
I agree with looking into part-time positions that offer affordable insurance.
Have you looked into any online grief support? Are you interested in being connected with any other women in similar circumstances?
Honestly, I find suicide and other widow support groups to be sort of exhausting/draining. If it were for younger widows, I'd be open to that, but it's so hard for me to relate to people who lost their spouse in their 70's and 80's. It's just as hard for them, of course, but it's different.
Suicide support groups make me so depressed. And it's mainly always parents there and not spouses--I've found that to be sort of unexpected.
I'm open to talking with other online support groups though.
I just have trouble hearing about suicide, mainly.
I know therapy is important but I sometimes feel that only time will help.
An HSA is money you can deduct so it helps on that part. The premium on the insurance in lower which helps. When I did this privately from my family (through BCBS but am in KS so not sure what they offer elsewhere) my deductible was 7k. It's 6k now through work so not really that different.
I strongly prefer the high deductible plan regardless but the lower cost might help you out while still keeping you covered if something expensive happens.
I really like this idea. Here's a dumb question---do I have to put the entire amoutn in the HSA upfront or over time? At some point, if I build up a lot, do I stop contributing? Is it use it or lose it like an FSA?
I do need some tax deductions---right now I have nothing to claim.
Kohl's also offers health insurance to part time employees if you decide to go that route. I've gotten the best insurance quotes from a broker so maybe calling one is worth it. My state has a reduced health insurance plan for lower income people so maybe PA or FLA does as well. I bet this is a common problem amongst professional photogs so hopefully there is a something offered through a professional organization. Hope you find something soon.
I need to see a broker. Do you know how I would find a trustworthy/good one? Do they charge for the consult?
I know most of my photographer friends have Kaiser, but it's not available in my stste, I don't believe. It's supposedly excellent.
Lots of places around here offer health insurance to part time workers (Starbucks, Wegmans, etc.) That might be an excellent option that would work around your business schedule. Maybe you can find someplace like that?
I've had a job like that in the past and am considering applying. The only downside is, I do not have open weekend availability which most want--I essentially have no weekend availability from now through next November. Also, maybe someone here can verify this, but my employee used to work at a place like that (Pier 1) and she said the health insurance wasn't very good and that it didn't cover much and you have to work 20 hours a week--if you dip below, you lose the insurance, so it was unpredictable. I travel out of town most weekends for work. Her advice to me is that it might be worth it for me to just purchase a cheap plan on my own and try to take on extra photography work instead to cover it.
I work for other photographers too as well when I have spare time and pull in extra money that way which is a good wage. I still have some contacts at the Quizno's and grocery stores where I used to work when I first moved to Florida, so I can look into that too. I'm not opposed to working hard--I'm just already working 80 hour weeks at my business and feeling a bit tense with that already.
I just don't have the energy I used to have.
Someone above asked about a professional photographer's association and insurance---I believe that's in the works but there's nothing available just yet. I'm going to double check though.
Buckybells asked: "since you used to have much more income and live frugally, is there a lot of savings that you were left with? What about life insurance (although I guess maybe that's not covered given the circumstances?). Do you truly not have the money available, or is it just a matter of not wanting to spend it?"
A: I don't mind answering at all. We're young, so my husband was working less than 5 years when he died. I was working less than that (I went to graduate school and then was unemployed for a few years). We had student loans and had used a lot of our savings to pay those off.
Almost all our money was in retirement and the savings we do have is what I have been living on these past few months since his final paycheck. I've been living on our "emergency" fund. I still have money (I can still pay my rent and everything--I won't be in the poor house at all, don't worry) but I do need to start being more careful with it and making some changes to make it last longer.
I've been in a fog for 7 months and I realize my money is dwindling now and I need to start making changes.
Life insurance--there was some, I believe. I actually haven't claimed it yet and don't really know how to be honest. I don't know if I would even get it given the manner of death and I just feel so sad claiming it--I literally don't want it. It's psychological for me that one.
I wanted to update and answer some of the questions. I don't know how to multi-quote, I'm sorry.
Q: Group plan/employees? A: I don't have any full-time employees. My husband did my books and worked for me a bit, so I actually took on his job role as well. I have a part-time assistant who has insurance through her other full-time job.
Q: What state? A: I'm in Florida, but moving to Pittsburgh in April. I don't know if that makes a difference at all. Do they have group policies for sole proprietors in FL or PA?
Q: Do you get any benefits through social security or something that helps you as a widow? Is there anything out there healthcare related that is out there you can take advantage of besides the COBRA? A: If you are a widow with no children and under 60 or so, you don't get anything. If you never remarry, you will get your husband's social security when you turn, i think, 65. That's 40 years from now, so when they sent me that letter, I was like "Uhhm, not helpful."
I don't believe there's any kind of healthcare you can take advantage of since healthcare is closely tied to employment in this country. (Begin political rant?)
Q: Low income/SSI? A: I'm not that low-income I'm just a LOT lower income that I was before. I make about 25k---but it's straight commission, so it's variable and never guaranteed. My expenses are 25k. So I have to figure something out. In April (end of my lease), I am moving and getting a roommate, so that should give me a little more cash, reducing my rent/utilities from $1000 approximately to $600 (new place is more expensive but I'll be splitting it). I feel like if I could just get rid of this health insurance problem I would be in a much better place.
Q: Also have you considered selling your assets? If cash is tight that might also be your best option. A: Well, by assets, I mean retirement and investment accounts...my financial adviser really is advising me to not touch them as much as possible and to really try to make it on my own. I don't have anything legit to sell like an extra car (we only have one).
Q: Have you considered getting a traditional job with health insurance? It might be better in the short term than keeping your business afloat. A: Yes, I have considered and am looking for sure. It's a shame because my business is really doing well, very busy, and I do enjoy it. I feel like I would rather do a job I love and be a little bit poorer than give up my dream, especially because my business really is growing and doing well.
CJeannette: "I would consider a high deductible plan and use an HSA to pay for the visits." Okay, this is what I'm thinking, but can you talk to me about this like I'm five years old? What is an HSA? What would you consider high-deductible, 10k? I think this is the best idea for me but I don't really know a lot about this.
You ladies are awesome...no one in my real life wants to talk about this stuff. They aren't knowledgeable and just feel uncomfortable talking about concrete things. People just say "Give it time" or "You don't have to make any decisions now" or "It will work itself out" and, while those things are comforting, it doesn't really solve real problems I'm having.
You ladies here are so sweet--I really appreciate all your kind words. Don't feel you have to say sorry all the time--I am going to have a lot of money questions in the next few weeks (I have not dealt with *anything* at all for 7 months, so my life is a mess needless to say) and I know it's a terrible situation and just something no one wants to ever experience.
kwynn, I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. If you can wait just a little bit longer, will you be eligible for any of the insurance exchanges that are forming up with Obamacare?
I'm going to plead ignorance on this one---I don't know what's to come at all. I haven't been following it.
I have no medical conditions at all. I am not high-risk, never smoked, have always been continuously covered by insurance. I am not eligible for an employer plan.
Would any of that be covered under an insurance exchange?
I just can't find any health insurance that will cover therapy. Wondering if I should go with something dirt cheap just in case of emergencies?
And then just went to therapy 1x per month for $150 or so?
So that would put my total costs at $68.14+$150=$218.14 plus any additional things I had to pay for out of pocket that month, like $60 in medications, etc. So let's factor in maybe $100 extra dollars a month. $318.14
Right now, the same things would run me:
$512 (COBRA) + $35 (copay for one therapy visit) + $17 (medication copay)=$564
I would still be ahead $200/month with the cheap plan, which is a decent amount, less if I don't need any medications or anything that month.
Some of my students see therapists based on a sliding scale. Would this be an option in your area?
Unfortunately, no...I live in a somewhat rural area and I have a decent amount of assets, but little actual income. It's sort of a weird situation. Also, there are grief groups, but they are on Saturday and I work every Saturday, and then the other specific young widow or suicide loss groups are too far away from me to be reasonable.
To tell you the truth, it's actually hard for me to go to another therapist. It's just so painful to have to tell the whole story of what happened again.
I've been on a waiting list since April to get 3 free counseling sessions from an organization here, but I'm not sure what's going on with that.
I'm in sort of a pickle. If you all remember, my husband made 10x what I make and I moved across country for his job, and I was then unemployed for a few years.
We were living very cheaply, nothing special, nothing extra--a cheap apartment, a paid off 13 year old car, no cable TV, basic cell, nothing to really cut.
I'm living proof that, no matter how much you are saving, it isn't enough.
I was on my husband's insurance. I have my own business. I'm 28, so too old to be on my parents' insurance.
My husband's insurance offered me COBRA, which I had to take, since his insurance got cut off retroactively to the day he died. I used services that month before I knew.
I told myself I would keep the insurance through the end of the year to get my some therapy, anti-depressants, etc. and then find something else. I will have spent $4k on this insurance this year and that's not even counting the fact that I try to only go to therapy once a month to save money.
Unfortunately, it is *so* expensive---it's $512.00 a month for just me and the co-pays, etc, are still very high.
This expense is really killing me. I can't afford it. It's my highest expense beside rent. It does include a gym membership, but I can just get something at a cheap gym for like $30/month.
If you were me, what would you do? Is there any insurance out there that would cover therapy? Might it be better at this point to go with some very cheap plan and pay for therapy out of pocket?
I'm sorry to be so lazy about this---I just am overwhelmed and do not understand purchasing private health insurance that well.
I need someone to be like "Here's what you should get."
I'm a professional photographer and would recommend the Canon Rebel series. You don't need the latest---T4i, T3i, T2i, or even T1i. You can go older---they barely make changes to the entry level in my opinion and you can save a lot of money.
Hi, ladies. I've missed you all too. I've been lurking, just haven't felt like coming back to participate.
I saw the traffic to my business website months ago from here and that's how I found you all again since the regular Nest is deserted it seems. Thank you to those that left me messages-it was very much appreciated.
I'll be around here reading and participating when I can. It's hard--I've been on MM since before my husband and I even began to date over eight years ago, and saving money was kind of our thing to do together, you know, so I've just been not into it anymore--I've lost interest in it like a lot of things we used to do together.
I used to tell my DH about my "money board friends" all the time. Anytime he'd have a question, he'd tell me to ask my Internet friends.
I've missed you ladies and I hope to post more in the future.
I am a longtime MM'er from back in 2004 until early this year, but have been lurking here for months on the new GBCN. Some of you know, my beloved husband committed suicide with almost no warning in April and certainly none of the classic signs/symptoms you hear about in health class or on the news. This is my first post since then.
Looking back with hindsight, I can see little things that may or may not have been warning signs with my husband--I'll never know. I felt compelled to post here reading your story about your husband's uncle. This is not professional advice at all, just my own experience.
He needs to get into a therapist. Think about asking him to commit himself. Call the police yourself just to know that you have done everything possible to help.
The scariest thing is, despite everything you do for him, he still may attempt or complete suicide, but know that you are doing what you can to help.
Be on the lookout for a day when things may be seeming up for him--I've read that that is a time when many do attempt, just when things seem better.
Give him the suicide hotline number.
Also, there's something called a safety plan---a worksheet you all can fill out together and he can post in a prominent place that can distract him from committing suicide until the immediate crisis has passed. You really have to Google pretty hard for this (try "suicide safety plan")--I wish it had been more readily accessible to my husband when he was feeling depressed.
The conventional advice is that someone expressing suicidal thoughts should never be left alone, so if someone can watch him at all times, that would obviously be ideal, but of course, this is not possible for 99.9% of people and also, it doesn't always prevent those most determined either.
Please try to get him help and don't wait--my husband told me he was sad one night, we decided he would call for a therapy appointment Monday morning, but he died on Sunday--he never even made it to the appointment.
I'm so sorry to be a downer in this post and I hope your uncle feels better soon.