@sessalee , did you have to buy a plane ticket for P? Because if you already spent money (on anything related to this wedding for her) to get P to this wedding, and then your stepsister said no, I'd be even more pissed off than I am right now for you. lol
No, infant in arms. We've spent no money on P at all, fortunately.
If I'd gotten her a non-southwest plane ticket, we'd all be coming and IDGAF.
Post by oliviapope on Mar 24, 2016 12:39:28 GMT -5
Kids and weddings end up bringing out the crazy in people. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding to my brother. They were so concerned about being fair, that they were not going to allow my 8 month old when we were traveling from out of state. All the possible babysitters would be attending.
I told my brother we simply couldn't attend. My mom was furious at them but it was just too much. Eventually they wanted my parents to pay for something and changed their minds on my kid. So we ended up going and bringing him but I would have been fine skipping it too.
I have decided why swim across an ocean for someone that wouldn't jump over a puddle for you.
@sessalee , did you have to buy a plane ticket for P? Because if you already spent money (on anything related to this wedding for her) to get P to this wedding, and then your stepsister said no, I'd be even more pissed off than I am right now for you. lol
No, infant in arms. We've spent no money on P at all, fortunately.
If I'd gotten her a non-southwest plane ticket, we'd all be coming and IDGAF.
Ok.
WELL.
I'm still angry for you at the way this was all handled!
Kids and weddings end up bringing out the crazy in people. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding to my brother. They were so concerned about being fair, that they were not going to allow my 8 month old when we were traveling from out of state. All the possible babysitters would be attending.
I told my brother we simply couldn't attend. My mom was furious at them but it was just too much. Eventually they wanted my parents to pay for something and changed their minds on my kid. So we ended up going and bringing him but I would have been fine skipping it too.
I have decided why swim across an ocean for someone that wouldn't jump over a puddle for you.
I'm betting when I tell her H isn't coming and that I may not (or, if I make the decision that I'm not going and tell her) she'll retreat somehow. I'd bet good money on it.
@sessalee, I don't think bringing your BFF and getting somewhat obnoxiously drunk sounds like such a bad idea. If your SS says anything you can just be all "well, I decided to cut loose since my kid couldn't be there so yeah."
@sessalee , I don't think bringing your BFF and getting somewhat obnoxiously drunk sounds like such a bad idea. If your SS says anything you can just be all "well, I decided to cut loose since my kid couldn't be there so yeah."
She's already on board with this idea, so we may execute.
@sessalee , I don't think bringing your BFF and getting somewhat obnoxiously drunk sounds like such a bad idea. If your SS says anything you can just be all "well, I decided to cut loose since my kid couldn't be there so yeah."
She's already on board with this idea, so we may execute.
The way she's talking about it is probably the most irritating thing to me, like it's a business transaction - add another element of coordination? GTFO of here with that nonsense. Call it what it is.
In my rage I would send a nice gift and book a better vacation, but I do understand wanting to see family. Sorry this is so stressful
I'm working on option 3 - fly into a different airport (also nearby), have my BFF pick me up, take her as my date and we get horrifically and obnoxiously drunk and somehow ruin the cake.
Thoughts?Â
(not a serious suggestion).
Well this would certainly show her that drunk adults can be more disruptive than kids. Lol
Although, I doubt SS has gotten it together enough to arrange an open bar. You'd better pack some cash (or booze) in your purse.
Kids and weddings end up bringing out the crazy in people. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding to my brother. They were so concerned about being fair, that they were not going to allow my 8 month old when we were traveling from out of state. All the possible babysitters would be attending.
I told my brother we simply couldn't attend. My mom was furious at them but it was just too much. Eventually they wanted my parents to pay for something and changed their minds on my kid. So we ended up going and bringing him but I would have been fine skipping it too.
I have decided why swim across an ocean for someone that wouldn't jump over a puddle for you.
I'm betting when I tell her H isn't coming and that I may not (or, if I make the decision that I'm not going and tell her) she'll retreat somehow. I'd bet good money on it.Â
Just focus on making the best decision for you & your family. I was furious that we were portrayed as "why can't they understand that you can't bring your kid everywhere?" When really you put me in a difficult spot without childcare available, and are demanding all possible sitters attend.
And ommmmmmmmggggg nothing is more annoying than a bride's demands being spun as a favor to guests or the wedding party. "Our friends are using it as an excuse to leave the baby at home and cut loose!!!!!!!" Well, great. But I can get a babysitter and cut loose whenever the fuck I want. Don't act like you're giving me a special gift unless you are arranging and paying for child care.
Fucking EXACTLY. Don't presume I want to 'cut loose' or that my kid will prevent others from doing so. Fuck you.
And ommmmmmmmggggg nothing is more annoying than a bride's demands being spun as a favor to guests or the wedding party. "Our friends are using it as an excuse to leave the baby at home and cut loose!!!!!!!" Well, great. But I can get a babysitter and cut loose whenever the fuck I want. Don't act like you're giving me a special gift unless you are arranging and paying for child care.Â
I totally agree with you. Also, because she is trying to spin KICKING HER DAUGHTER out of the wedding as a "favor". Get over yourself.
I feel you on this, OP! A good friend of mine invited my (then 2 year old) DD to be in her out of town wedding but said she could not come to the reception. Apparently she invited DD as a flower girl as a favor to me bc she did not have any bridesmaids and thought I would be upset not to be a bridesmaid. I was supremely annoyed but did it anyway, having my sister also travel so that she could watch DD after the ceremony. In hindsight I wish I'd just said sorry she can't be flower girl because it "adds an element of complication" to our trip. Ugh.
Kids and weddings end up bringing out the crazy in people. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding to my brother. They were so concerned about being fair, that they were not going to allow my 8 month old when we were traveling from out of state. All the possible babysitters would be attending.
I told my brother we simply couldn't attend. My mom was furious at them but it was just too much. Eventually they wanted my parents to pay for something and changed their minds on my kid. So we ended up going and bringing him but I would have been fine skipping it too.
I have decided why swim across an ocean for someone that wouldn't jump over a puddle for you.
I'm betting when I tell her H isn't coming and that I may not (or, if I make the decision that I'm not going and tell her) she'll retreat somehow. I'd bet good money on it.
Would your mutual parent (sorry I can't remember if its your Dad or Moms SD) intervene at all? When BIL told me I couldn't nurse at his wedding and I said I wouldn't bring the boys FIL was pissed and talked to him. Of course that led to "you have to wear a cover" nonsense but I just ignored it and nursed w/o a cover anyways.
I'm betting when I tell her H isn't coming and that I may not (or, if I make the decision that I'm not going and tell her) she'll retreat somehow. I'd bet good money on it.
Would your mutual parent (sorry I can't remember if its your Dad or Moms SD) intervene at all? When BIL told me I couldn't nurse at his wedding and I said I wouldn't bring the boys FIL was pissed and talked to him. Of course that led to "you have to wear a cover" nonsense but I just ignored it and nursed w/o a cover anyways.
I did tell my dad, he will be upset that he won't get to see Piper now, and he may try to do something. We'll see. I've not cancelled anything.
I can understand a bride or groom not wanting a bunch of kids running loose and playing tag on the dance floor during the reception. But a baby or toddler should not be lumped in with that.
Ok. Having now read all the updates, your stepsister and her fiance have more than a small touch of the stupid.
I'd stay home, cancel my ticket, and spend the whole night putting pictures on FB about how happy I was to be comfy on my couch :-)
I really want to say we've settled on me going with my friend and getting super drunk, but it's been a rollercoaster of a week.
Whatever you do you will still show more class than what your Stepsister has shown. If there was a way to bungle this, pass the buck, and try to skirt the blame, she has found it.
Hell, I'm not even above you writing your parents and stepsister and saying "Unfortunately, after giving it some thought, we've decided not to come. As Lil' Sessalee is apparently just another 'complication' to douchecanoe bride's wedding planning, and they are really trying to keep their "complications" to a minimum, we are just going to take a pass. It would have been WONDERFUL to celebrate with you all and for Lil' Sessalee to get to see her extended family (and for us to as well!) but apparently this will be the least "complicated" for everyone else involved. We'll be thinking of you from afar!"
And watch your dad's head explode at your stepsister :-)
I really want to say we've settled on me going with my friend and getting super drunk, but it's been a rollercoaster of a week.
Whatever you do you will still show more class than what your Stepsister has shown. If there was a way to bungle this, pass the buck, and try to skirt the blame, she has found it.
Hell, I'm not even above you writing your parents and stepsister and saying "Unfortunately, after giving it some thought, we've decided not to come. As Lil' Sessalee is apparently just another 'complication' to douchecanoe bride's wedding planning, and they are really trying to keep their "complications" to a minimum, we are just going to take a pass. It would have been WONDERFUL to celebrate with you all and for Lil' Sessalee to get to see her extended family (and for us to as well!) but apparently this will be the least "complicated" for everyone else involved. We'll be thinking of you from afar!"
And watch your dad's head explode at your stepsister :-)
Dad's more the crying type than the exploding type. If anyone explodes it will be the rest of her sisters exploding at her for being a total brat.
My response to her was extremely even tempered, almost cold. She told me we could talk later tonight, I told her I had nothing to discuss and that me and BFF would see her there. Ultimately, I may decide to not go, but for now this is the plan.
Her dog is the ringbearer but no kids at the reception? Lol. Gawd, I can't wait until she has kids and wants to bring them somewhere to show them off to family and friends and has to think about traveling with a kid and childcare and kennelling the stupid dog that barks all night and sheds hair all over the house and remembers back to this moment and how hard she made this for you.
See, meanwhile I think she is clearly too self-involved to remember this and reflect. I don't even give her the credit to think she will have the good grace to remember and be ashamed.
Which is why I would wash my hands of the whole situation and save my money. Or go elsewhere with my H and DD that weekend.
Her STBH will ask how Piper is at the weddin and it will take every single ounce of my good grace to not immediately choke him.