this all seems very red flag. My biggest question is, if her dr thinks she is sick enough for a feeding tube why has no appointment been made? Is she saying the drs are slow? That doesn’t make sense - if she needs a feeding tube they will get her in (I know a few people who have needed feeding tubes. They don’t wait). Is she dragging her feet? If so why? You mention she has a history of trauma and eating disorders. There is so much that could be going on from denial, to fear, to another eating disorder, to exaggerating symptoms/medical information, to purposefully making herself sick, etc. Or she has REALLY crappy drs and isn’t advocating? It definitely seems she needs support from somewhere that she is not getting now. Is she still in therapy? And I’m sorry, this must be really rough to go through from a distance.
I think it's been mostly a coordination of care issue - she's been bounced around a lot. Her GI referred her to a dietician, who she worked with for at least a couple of weeks to see if dietary changes would help. Once the dietician decided a feeding tube was the next step, I think that was referred to her GI's office but they haven't been very quick to follow up. I guess this week she was referred to a gastroparesis doctor, who she was supposed to see today. I haven't heard anything yet but I am hoping that doctor will get her into surgery quickly. It seems like ever since her health issues started she has been referred from one person to another over and over and there is always a big time lag in between appointments. Meanwhile she's starving to death though!
Today they were just doing a telehealth visit for some reason? So I hope he can see that she's very thin.
As far as her part on this - I honestly don't know. She's said several times that she is worried people will think she has relapsed if they see her because she is so thin, she's been hesitant to buy new smaller clothes because she says she's too thin, etc. But that all could of course be deflection. I know the months of pain and isolation from her gallbladder issues have taken a toll, so she may be struggle even more with mental health than we realize. It's so hard to tell from afar! And additionally I've heard most of this second hand through my mom and my other sister, who seems to be a little closer to her than I am. So there could be other details I just don't know about. My mom and my sister have both been out there briefly to see her in recent months (like my mom was there 2 days before my sister sent her home) so they can confirm at least that she is very thin/low energy.
Chiming in here as someone diagnosed with gastroparesis who needed a feeding tube (twice). It look me 2 months and losing 60lbs before I got my feeding tube put in. My terrible GI doctor tried a bunch of medications at first. They obviously didn't work because I took them orally and usually threw them up within an hour. I ended up switching doctors before getting formally diagnosed with gastroparesis and getting my tube. Gastroparesis isn't caused by one thing. It's just that you have delayed digestion. That's it. So there could be a lot of potential causes.
Interestingly, I was dealing with this at the same time another young woman who worked at my same agency was. She and I both got sick around the same time. We got connected through a mutual friend. I told her about my second GI doc who was amazing, and she went to see him too. So he treated both of us. We both got tubes. Mine was a means to an end, and I eventually got it removed. She never did. She left our agency and has gotten into tube advocacy work. We thought our cases might be connected, but they weren't.
The flying was cool and obviously the dancers were great but the costuming sucked. Especially Rhianna’s. I was so distracted by the tarp draped over her. LOL. She’s beautiful and talented but this was just ok.
My work at home set up includes docking station, 2 monitors, external camera and ring light, mouse and keyboard, desk (I got a standing desk at Costco), ergonomic chair. I bought the desk and chair myself.
We just went in October. We did a free walking tour on our first day that was 3 hours long (Free Dam Tour on Tripadvisor). We also went on a canal cruise, to the Anne Frank House (tickets needed in advance), Van Gogh and Rijksmuseum (tickets needed in advance), a day long bus tour (to see windmills in Zaanse Schans, Gouda cheese factory, clog factory), Heineken experience, Albert Cuyp market.
For food, be sure to try poffertjes. They're little pancakes that are served with a variety of toppings. I got some with nutella and strawberries. For dinner, try to arrange for reijstaffel. It means rice table and is a bunch of small plates of Indonesian food. So good. We had some bitterballen on our canal cruise that were good, but I'd had others that were not good. Get a fresh made stroopwafel. And the friets (french fries) there are so good and come with a bunch of sauces.
I would absolutely try to go to Keukenhof to see the tulips.
This. My H is the executors for his dad’s estate. He died with no valid will. It has been a huge pain in the ass. We don’t have kids and will still have a trust. We won’t put our extended family through what FIL put us through.
Do you recall what it cost to set yours up?
This is where I'm embarrassed to say that we haven't yet. It's on our list of things to handle soon. We have the name of the guy my mom used for hers. I think she said it was ~$2K for her. I can text you his info if you want.
Since the original question is answered - what would a trust be set up for? Is this for distributing money to children?
My real question - do I need a trust? We don't have kids. We do need a will, just so that things aren't a giant hassle for survivors. There is about a 0% chance that I care enough about what happens to our money if we both were to die that I'm going to pay thousands of dollars right now to set something up, though.
A will alone will not save your executor much hassle. You need a trust for that. A trust means your executor won't have to go to court to get permission to: access your bank accounts, investment accounts, close your utilities and your credit cards, settle outstanding debts, and sell your cars and your house.
This. My H is the executors for his dad’s estate. He died with no valid will. It has been a huge pain in the ass. We don’t have kids and will still have a trust. We won’t put our extended family through what FIL put us through.
I'm in the same boat. We just had our policy changed, and I'll be at home for at least the next year. So I won't need much of my office attire anytime soon... and thanks to the additional lbs I'm carrying since this all started 3 years ago, much of it doesn't fit. I really need to empty my closet and only keep things that I'll reasonably wear this year.
Does it feel super crowded? Is there a lot of fighting for space at the pool, or waiting in line for activities? I have only been on 2 cruises, the most recent was summer of 2019 on RC (Adventure of the Seas out of Bayonne). I didn't find it to be that crowded maybe with the one exception of a day or two by the pool. But we managed to find seats, it just took a little time. I burn easily, so I physically cannot spend the entire day by the pool.
Do you feel rushed at the port excursions? Herded like cattle? Stressed about making it back on board in time? We did ship excursions, and didn't feel rushed. We didn't book them through the cruise line and had plenty of time before/after excursions and had zero issue/concern getting back on the ship.
If I'm prone to motion sickness am I going to struggle with seasickness? So I get car sick being in the backseat of a vehicle. I got the patches and had zero issues on the boat. I didn't have dry mouth. I was worried to be honest, because we booked the rooms at the front of the ship that have floor to ceiling windows (deck 12 on adventure in the panoramic suites). I thought we would experience more of the movement from waves, but I was fine.
Do the cabins feel claustrophobic? Will I get sick and have to stay in my cabin the whole time? I would avoid an interior cabin then. A balcony cabin or one like what we stayed in was so nice.
I’m listening to the audiobook of his memoir as I walk my dog (ha) and it is SO sad. It’s starts off with him learning of Diana’s death and it’s…just handled so badly. Like being woken up, not even hugged by Charles, and the Charles just leaves him alone?? It’s not really discussed at all then so he convinces himself that Diana faked an accident, and no one is discussing anything with the kids. It’s just so messed up. I can’t help comparing how my amazing sister in law dealt with my neice and nephew when my BIL suddenly died, and how much love and care and discussion happened (and is still happening a few years later). It just seems so damaging how they handle things. Good for him getting out of a toxic family.
This. It's heartbreaking to hear him continue to refer to it as "since mummy disappeared." I'm only on chapter 18.
I'm taken aback that Meghan did not receive instructions on how to properly greet the Queen. My friend met the Queen through a school function and he had to take a 1hr course on all the things they could and couldn't do (i.e. wait until the Queen offers her hand first).
I lived in the UK for a decently long time and can confirm that there is something particularly vile about the press there. Similar to Fox News and its ilk, but also way more entrenched in society (the London Evening standard for example is a free commuter publication and Daily Mail owns a 25% share - anyone who commutes by tube reads it at least sometimes).
It's no secret that I think a constitutional monarchy is a stable and effective form of government, but that doesn't mean the monarchy itself can't change and evolve. It absolutely should and if it doesn't, I think it's more likely to lead to republican sentiment.
The meeting with the queen was unexpected per Harry and Meghan and not a planned event. They just happened to be somewhere and she was also there so Harry said why don’t you meet my grandma. Then, that’s when the curtsy thing came up and what to expect. So she did get instruction to curtsy, but it’s not like they had it planned out for weeks in order to prep ahead of time.
She also said in the documentary that she thought the family would "let their guard down" and act differently in private. So while she may have known that the family bowed/curtsied to the queen in public, she may not have realized that they did the same in private too.
I don't think she actually curtsied the way she showed on the documentary. I fully believe that she was making fun of herself there. That the grand curtsy that we've seen on tv and in those Medieval Times performances aren't actually what a curtsy looks like. In the Oprah interview, she said that Fergie showed her right before she met the queen.
The advice I have been given from our HR folks is document, document, document. Having conversations with this person and taking notes afterwards isn't enough. I had to follow up each meeting with an email to the person about what we discussed, timelines, etc. Then I would have to send another email when that person missed the agreed upon deadline or did something else wrong. Even if it goes nowhere, having the email documentation will be important.
We flew into Amsterdam last Friday and leave this Friday. Flying in, we had no issues. And I didn’t see seas of luggage that I had been expecting, or lines and lines of people either. I can let you know on Friday how it goes.
Quoting myself. We are here at Schiphol and it really was not bad at all. The number of people seems normal, lines have been short, and we’ve gotten to our gate quickly.
We flew into Amsterdam last Friday and leave this Friday. Flying in, we had no issues. And I didn’t see seas of luggage that I had been expecting, or lines and lines of people either. I can let you know on Friday how it goes.
Which suggests FDA drug approval office could have layoffs if congress doesn’t reauthorize user fees. But the article is from early September. Does anyone know if that has happened or heard anything about that? Because, that will affect so much.
also, dude, I finished everything I needed to have done by the end of the FY (except maybe my self evaluation) by mid-September. Why the hell does congress procrastinate so much?!
edit: talked with a friend who is with one of the listed affected groups at FDA. His response made me think that it hasn’t been reauthorized yet. 🤬
Update: the user fee legislation has been reauthorized.
I think W.T.Faulkner's suggestion makes sense if you hadn't already had negative experiences with this teacher in the past. She sounds like she's a hardass on all of her students for stupid stuff (WTF to skipping in the hallway). I highly doubt she will change for your DS2. I would request a new teacher now.
There is no way Biden is flying commercial to the UK.
But is Air Force One really considered a private jet? It's owned by US taxpayers technically. I'm sure AFO will land near London on Sunday and the Bidens will stay overnight in London.
I have a PhD in epidemiology from a private university-- brick and mortar program. I had no idea what I was doing when I decided to get my PhD. My program offered no support, so I had to work while taking classes and still needed to take out loans. I finished my masters and PhD with over $100K in student loans. I knew I didn't want to go into academia, so I got a job after I passed my comprehensive exam. I've worked for the federal government ever since and was able to get my loans discharged this year under PSLF. My biggest issue with my university was the lack of funding for doctoral students. And students in my school got less support than students in other schools-- those students got a stipend and free tuition to be a TA while I got no stipend, paid tuition, and served as a TA for $10/hour for 10 hours a week. All that said, I had some amazing and unique experiences during my doctoral program that I have benefitted from. I also had an advisor who saw the benefit of getting out of academia.
I didn't need a PhD for my job, but having one has helped me advance beyond my friends who stopped at a masters degree.
I hire people now. And I'll be honest that I have not been impressed with the applicants who have PhDs in my field from an online only school.
I'm a member of the Girls Love Travel facebook page and they've been talking about how awful Amsterdam airport is all summer. I thought maybe by fall things would have settled down. The stories and pictures have been crazy.
I'm glad you made it through! Safe travels.
Thanks for the update. I hope things get better over the next few weeks because we're headed to Amsterdam at the end of October. I've already told H that we need to take only carry ons to avoid losing any checked baggage.
I saw a picture of her from a day or two ago and she looked like she has definitely lost weight. She has been declining this year for sure, canceling events to rest on medical advice. She's had a good run if this is the end to make it to 96. I hope it is true that Harry is going to see her if that is what he wants. I had only heard that Charles and William were on their way and I wondered if Harry would be allowed.
Yes, Harry and Meghan are on their way according to the reports I've read.
I am glad that Harry and Meghan were already in the UK so they could get to Balmoral quickly to be with HMTQ.
Next up is the new Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling) book, which I'm excited about. I know JKR is trash, but I've invested like 6,000 pages into the series at this point and I need to see how it ends.
Same. I wish Robin and Strike would just get together. I just bought the audiobook and started listening this morning.
Not wandering, but my grandmother just had to get the rabies shots after a dog attack where the owners couldn't prove the dog had been vaccinated. She got 5 shots in total. And they are no longer given in the stomach.
Hi! It's good to "see" you here. I feel like it's been a while.
I hope your grandmother is ok.
Aww, thanks Pilsy. It has been a little while. I'm super busy at work and just really don't have time to be here during the work day like I used to.
My grandmother has recovered from her bite, thankfully. And since she's moved now to a nursing home, she doesn't have to worry about getting bit by that dog again.
wanderingback ,when you say vaccine, do you mean a one-time shot, or the feared 14-shot to the belly button treatment I could have gotten in the 80s if the neighbor's cat that rightfully scratched me hadn't had proof of its annual rabies vaccine?
Not wandering, but my grandmother just had to get the rabies shots after a dog attack where the owners couldn't prove the dog had been vaccinated. She got 5 shots in total. And they are no longer given in the stomach.
My husband is a registered Republican but has voted mostly D in the past few elections. He voted for Shultz yesterday. And will vote for the Democratic candidate in the fall.