I'm a small business owner, and on the one hand, I love stuff like Air BnB and Uber. It lets people run their own (sort of) small business. It creates opportunity and jobs in America.
On the other hand, as a small business, I hate how legally gray all of this stuff is. A company is super happy to take your money, giving it the air of legitimacy. They take a big cut and it sort of mentally gives the seller and buyer peace of mind - hey, this has to be legal - a big national company is in charge.
You'd never get in a random unlicensed car on the street - you'd never stay with a random person online in an unlicensed rooming house. Yet that's what these companies are. My township would fine me immediately if I used my house as an unlicensed hotel.
And this whole thing, on the whole, leads to ppl cobbling together 3-4 income sources, all non-traditional, all that take up WAY more time than they actually think of $-wise - rather than have security and safety of a traditional job with benefits.
I say this as someone that does run a licensed, legit business.
There is no help with these companies - you are basically taking a risk. That's not okay when they are accepting money!
I closed an account every time I left college for the summer (re-opened every time I went back) .... Closed for good when I graduated ... Closed 4 more during every move.
You just close it. I think they have a system for tracking any new charges against the account after it closes. It's no big deal to close an account at a bank.
Everything I read says they do not have a system at all to track new charges. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine bought a bagel one Thursday morning. The following Tuesday, she closed the account. It was a HUGE ordeal that the bagel charge hasn't hit yet, the bank charged her a ton of fees, said it was actually criminal to close an account with outstanding charges, etc. All over $4.
If you'd prefer to keep using that account, order new checks from a third party company. When I wrote checks regularly, I never got them from the bank. Or, call and talk to someone else and you may get a different answer.
I tried to order checks from a third party - there's some kind of "no ordering checks" hold on my account.
In my past, I've never actually closed a bank account. I have just stopped using it, started using another account, and eventually then closed the first account like a year later at $0 balance when I have transitioned to a new bank fully.
Long, long story short - I no longer live in the area where my former bank is. It also is a joint account with my late husband. I remember bringing in my late husband's death certificate shortly after he died and they made a note of it somewhere, but advised not closing the account right away because I might be getting his final check, we had no idea what money/bills were coming out of there, etc - they essentially advised me to give it some time, then do it. Since it was a joint account - fine, I kept using it. If I understand correctly, the bank can't just take his name off - I have to close the account and reopen my own completely.
I went through probate and moved a few years ago - continuing to use the account. I recently tried to reorder checks and they said I can't - I have to bring in his death certificate and close my account and reopen a new one or I can mail the death certificate in with a notarized letter and they will close the account - so obviously they noted his passing on the account. I'm frustrated this is coming up now - I get all emotional when his passing is brought up again and again when I'm not expecting it. I can continue using the account but I can't order checks anymore - so I guess it is time... Keep in mind, I DID bring in the death certificate.
I don't want to open an account there - I don't live there anymore. I will be in the area very soon - in ten days. How do I do this - is this enough time to phase out use of an account? I feel a bit overwhelmed. What if I have an outstanding check that I forget about or an autopay? My fear is bouncing a check or getting in trouble with something financially - I have anxiety over this and tried to carefully handle all our accounts after his passing to do everything right - I thought this was all done.
My plan is:
1 - Open a new account in my area in my name
2 - On vacation, go to the bank and give them the death certificate again.
3 - Try to make sure everything is balanced and good before I go and have them close the account.
Or is a better plan to?:
1 - Open a new account in my area in my name
2 - Move everything to new account gradually, don't close account or go to bank on vacation - just let the bank account sit there and do nothing with a little cushion $ in it
3 - Eventually, when I feel confident everything is moved over, mail in the death certificate and close the account, even if it is a year from now
My late husband passed a few years ago and I honestly felt everything was taken care of. I distinctly remember going to the bank and discussing this a few years ago and I felt everything was squared away, so when they stopped me from reordering checks, I was stressed. I thought it was done - I just worry maybe I will get in trouble for waiting any longer to close this account? I have no idea.
Thanks, ladies, for always guiding me through things.
This might sound crazy, but I wonder if you remarry if your future H could be buried there too. Your late H was a special person to you and anyone you marry in the future will understand that and be supportive of it (or should be, at least).
I am dating and hope to someday marry a widower. I actually don't know if his first wife even has a grave but if she did, I would absolutely consider us all being buried in the same place. This may sound even more extra crazy but I feel a connection with and affection for her. She is someone who loved the person I love and was very important to him and his life, and I am so lucky and feel so terrible that I get to have him much longer than she did. I am having trouble putting this feeling to words, but I almost feel like she's a part of my family too.
So - I hope you don't have to make a decision right now, but I just wanted to chime in that if you do remarry it might not even have to affect your decision.
Thank you for posting this. I do hope that when I'm ready (which is definitely NOT now), I will find someone who can be understanding about all this. It is so nice to hear from someone dating someone who's been in my shoes, and who feels the way you do about it.
Young widow here too - this is so, so amazingly beautiful. I don't know how I find someone like you (well, a male version) for myself, but this is a beautiful blending of three lives together and I wish you and your widower so much happiness and love together.
I never made the decision on my late husband's burial place - I have his urn in my home. I can't even begin to decide what to do, so I avoid thinking about headstones, etc because that's very emotionally healthy, I am sure.
They are up visiting with us while we are getting ready for FIL's estate sale and memorial,
They are older...and pretty well off each on their own. So my sister informs me this morning that stepdad washed his dixie plate after we had pizza last night and mom was washing the red solo cups.
JFC. We can afford to throw out the disposable stuff. Please tell me how to keep my mouth shut I have so many other things to deal with. Love em but head/desk.
I wash my solo cups. And I rinse and reuse ziplock bags. I draw the line at birthday candles, though. We are rich enough to throw those out after one use. That's how I knew I'd "made it."
Reuse birthday candles here - why not? They are only lit for like 30 seconds.
Actually, I am so cheap - we used, for everyone, a candle my dad had on his cake that said "50" - 12 years ago. Like I put that on everyone's cake for more than a decade. Very MM and it was funny too.
(Claim about steaming hot food) "I asked the flight attendant if they had anything hot, because Juliette is very particular about her food," Beegle told KPTV. "If it's warm she won't eat it, if it's cold she won't eat it, it has to have steam rolling off of it.""
I think the flight attendant came over at least 4 times and tried to help them - and at one point, they just decided enough is enough and this family wasn't ready to fly at this particular time - nothing they were doing was appeasing the girl.
I also read where one passenger did say the girl was howling and the flight attendant tried to work with them for over an hour.
I was just thinking of you today and wondering how you were doing! I think I'd want to know a fair price before I approached them, so I would probably get the portion of the land you want appraised and then start with an offer below that if the neighbors are open to the idea and ask what price you had in mind.
Hanging in there! Had some health challenges the past 5 months but am now on the mend and very happy about that. Trying to rebuild my life and figuring out where I want it to go/what's in store for me.
Oh man, you are so brave! I have never done this but wanted to say - your plan of finishing before you move in is very very smart. Many times, people move in before it is done and they never really finish!
Who is dumping back there? Is it the neighbor? If so, then I'll echo PP & say I'd try to force them to clean it up.
If it's not them, I'd go knock on their door. A written note would be good if you didn't live in the neighborhood & were looking for property, but since you live right behind them, I'd go ask them in person.
I get the sense everyone is dumping back there. Don't want to make waves.
Heck, when I had a tree cut down (it got dangerously damaged during a storm) they were all "It's a thousand to pull it out, $400 to just knock it back in the woods here" and I let them do the latter - I'm guilty too.
Now there's so many downed trees, especially because of the hillside being steep. (Note: I did eventually cut apart the downed tree and take it out in sections)
I think the neighbor dumping is the neighbor who actually has the house that sort of capped off the "truck route" if you will. He was the last house built and closed it to the main road, it appears. His driveway goes straight back and the tires and concrete blocks appear to be spilling down from there.
Another neighbor has that orange plastic fence to keep the deer from the woods away from her actual level yard and garden. It, in my opinion, looks sort of tacky as a permanent option.
It's just a big mess up there.
I don't know the neighbors personally because these yards are big enough that we couldn't see each other if we were in our respective yards. I guess I could contact them by knocking one afternoon and go from there. I highly doubt they *like* having a super steep shale covered hillside leading into a crazy bramblebush of poison ivy and old tires. The issue is just access in there - they can't maintain it from their side in any way realistically, no way to get a lawn mower down there or the barrel up. It almost HAS to be accessed from my side.
This is not what you asked, but do you live in a city or town? If so, there may be requirements that people keep their lots in good condition. In my area, if you don't cut your lawn or have a lot of litter and debris in it, then you can be fined. Do you think that they could be forced to clean it up this way?
I live in a town/borough. There probably is a rule about the debris - but I think you are probably allowed to let a wooded section get as unruly as you want? I don't think there's a rule that everything has to be grass, for example.
I guess it's like, we're all bordered by a bit of woods...but if you don't keep on the woods, it just spreads. I've seen it about 5 houses down - the woods weren't regularly cut back and reduced my neighbor's yard by a lot (plus he/she didn't maintain their retaining walls keeping the hillside at bay)
It's pretty overgrown - I didn't see the tires until I actually got up there and stood by my property line. But the trees, bramble bushes, etc are definitely visible and starting to get wild. I had some of them cut back last year.
My subdivision is very hilly. It is essentially 3 planes:
my backyard, steep hill up, flattened out overgrown area, steep hill up, neighbor's back yard
The flattened out overgrown area was once, it appears, a way for trucks, etc, to get in when they were building the subdivision.
So, my backyard and the neighbor's back yard actually touch each other. I have about 10' into the flattened overgrown area, they have about 40'
No one uses this land, because you have to go down a very steep embankment from their house and climb into the woods from mine. I went back there today and it has become a dumping ground for old tires, grass clippings, a barrel people burned stuff in, cement, building materials, trash, and 6 fallen trees from both hillsides/yards. It is really getting overgrown and starting to be an eyesore, broken off trees sticking out onto my hillside, etc.
I had an idea a few months ago. If I owned more of the flat part (or even my 10' of flat part) - I could have it clear cut, put some grass up there, have steps built to it, and essentially have an "upper yard" with chairs, etc
If I spend the time and money to do this, I'd love for it to be bigger. I would also fence it on 3 sides (open to my backyard) or plant a row of hedges or something to camouflage the surrounding mess.
I have NO idea what this project would cost. My neighbors can't see the overgrown mess because they are up above it.
How could I approach the neighbors and see if they'd sell me any of that flat part? A letter in their mailbox?
If they don't want to sell, that's cool - can I ask them if they'd at least grant me permission to clean it up? They're welcome to use it of course! (Although the hill from their side is SO super steep they'd likely never ever come down - my portion is much less steep)
Barring that, I want to camouflage the view by putting some kind of shrubs or fence.
Dumb idea? It's going to waste and becoming a junk pit back there.
Derrick is a Walmart accountant and has a college degree. Jill has never worked a salaried job beyond TLC - she was a SAHD (daughter) until marriage, although she completed some lay midwife training/education. It's Jim Bob's house.
Jessa and her DH also live in a Duggar property - believe it is the small house that Josh and Anna used to live in which at one time belonged to Grandma Duggar?
Jessa got a much much smaller home, her DH works for Jim Bob. She is also a SAHD and I'm not sure what her focus was before marrying - she wasn't doing midwife training.
I think people speculate Jessa, first girl to get married, is the favorite and got the biggest house - but Jessa got a European honeymoon, so, tradeoffs.
Jessa was teaching at the "Duggar Academy" which is the homeschool for the younger kids. I saw an episode where it said she basically managed the whole thing. Also i believe that Jill did most of the cooking for the family before her marriage. It is a lot of extra work now for Joy-Anna, Jinger, and Jana.
Ahhh, I see. I didn't know about the homeschooling - I thought they had transitioned mainly to online learning.
Aren't many of the Duggars done with school? Josh (obv), Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph (away at a very Christian college), Josiah, Joyanna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah - they are all done since Duggars get a GED at 16.
So it leaves the youngest 8. I'm not saying that's not a big job - it is! But man, the Duggars are growing up and in just 2-3 years, they'll be down to a normal-sized family at home!
I haven't seen the show in a long time. I just watched a more recent episode and it showed the big house Jill & Derick live in….the kids moving Jessa's furniture in to her house all complained how Jill's move took forever b/c their house was so big…. where did that come from? How can they afford that? Maybe b/c they are older and both have been working with salaried jobs? I know Derick works for Walmart… Jessa and Ben seem so young -- I don't even know what Ben does for a living?
Just curious for anyone that could maybe fill me in!
Derrick is a Walmart accountant and has a college degree. Jill has never worked a salaried job beyond TLC - she was a SAHD (daughter) until marriage, although she completed some lay midwife training/education. It's Jim Bob's house.
Jessa and her DH also live in a Duggar property - believe it is the small house that Josh and Anna used to live in which at one time belonged to Grandma Duggar?
Jessa got a much much smaller home, her DH works for Jim Bob. She is also a SAHD and I'm not sure what her focus was before marrying - she wasn't doing midwife training.
I think people speculate Jill, first girl to get married, is the favorite and got the biggest house - but Jessa got a European honeymoon, so, tradeoffs.
I'm not a mom - but it sounds like maybe her hours don't work with the daycare hours? If she's dawdling on getting out the door and chatting too much, that's one thing - but if she is supposed to work until say, 5:30 and the only way she can get out at 5 is to skip lunch - well, I kind of understand why skipping lunch every day isn't healthy and would make for an incredibly long, tough day of trying to run and get the kids with minutes to spare.
What time does her work open and close versus your daycare? Just wondering
My sister has been through 3 FitBits - all keep breaking for no reason. She just keeps sending them back and they keep sending her new ones! This latest one has lasted the longest, about 8 or so months.
And so "why are you here" is a standard opening I have heard from specialists. They want you to describe symptoms. I don't think it's supposed to be patronizing. And I have a rare but easily diagnosed disease and am seen by specialists interested in that disease.
Oh, I am totally fine with "why are you here today?" Or "what brings you in?" I get irritated with the tone I have heard on "why are you here?" with a dismissive look, holding the chart in crossed arms.
I don't have papillidema but I'm sorry that you too have a headache type illness. Mine weirdly goes away when I lay down - sort of the reverse of ICH.
Is your eye doctor an optometrist or ophthalmologist?
I've seen (in the past year) 2 optometrists and 1 ophthalmologist. I've had a total of probably 8 eye visits, got new glasses, tried to get new contacts (I can no longer wear a contact in my affected eye so haven't picked them up yet)
I am considering a neuro-opthamologist but there's only 2 in my city covered by my insurance and I doubt my PCP will make a referral. And after crying in a specialist's office today when he/she asked at least 5 questions about my husband's death and gave me that patronizing look - I just feel I would be wasting a specialist's time. It's so demeaning to have this great and knowledgeable doctor, a professor at the med school even, kindly and gently tell you while holding your records that he/she can't help you, even though he/she sees a ton of difficult cases in his profession, and he/she has no idea why you are in the office when you obviously don't need a rheumatologist. "Why are you here?" was the exact question asked that made me feel small.
So my PCP isn't real big on referring me to places and I've been doing it on my own because I don't need a referral for my insurance. But I feel I am not qualified to be making these inquiries to these doctors since it is just me over here Googling to try to figure out "Well, maybe it could be auto immune!" or "That sounds like my symptoms - maybe it's vasculitis"
This has been suggested to me a few times. I feel really foolish because I am functional, able to walk around and work, and since I've had this in some form or another for a year (with daily problems for 3 months) - I feel it isn't life threatening. It does effect my quality of life.
I live in an area with decent hospitals. I don't love some of the providers I am able to see with my insurance and with scheduling through BigCity Hospital System (i.e. takes 3 months to see a doctor, have to see them in a dingy/run down office, etc)
I'd love to hear if anyone has had experience at the Mayo Clinic. It is far from my house and I'm sure going would get the eyeroll from my family and current doctors.
Someone on here (LovesTrains?) has a not so common condition that I think was identified by a neuro-ophthalmologist. Not that you have this specific condition, but since it began with your eye, I would consider seeing an eye specialist. And if the "maybe it's anxiety" thing comes up, I would straight up tell them that you have had your concerns dismissed by multiple doctors and that you aren't interested in a repeat.
I will say that my eye doctor is the ONLY one who didn't say "stress" - she said it wasn't anything on her end (the eye) but it could be something circulatory system related.
I struggle with advocating for myself and being confident. I cry because I know the visit is coming to an end and I will be going home again with no answers. (And sometimes these appointments I have been waiting for for three months! So it will be a LONG time until I can get another one).
Also, I do still cry when my husband's death is brought up and I have to explain it, what happened, was it sudden, how long were you married. It's upsetting, especially when I am already not feeling well physically and I then know we are going down that road again into "you poor thing, you've been through a lot. Are you socializing? Going out and dating? Do you have any kids?" Look, I don't just pay you money for an office visit to talk about my feelings and get attention (which is what I am convinced they think - one of the notes in my chart hurt my feelings). I have spent $4000 thus far to find out it's "migraines" or "anxiety" so I'd like a little more for my dollar.
I keep thinking that a man would be taken more seriously. Or someone with better insurance
What kind of discipline does daycare do? Versus the preschool? I'd be curious as to why daycare's strategy is working and the preschool's isn't. Also, can you ask your kid (I know, this might be a dumb non-mom thought) but ask him when he's calm and mellow if he likes preschool, why did he take his shirt off, if he's happy in general, etc - just to see what he says is the problem?
I apologize if we are friends on FB/in other groups/IRL and you've heard this whole spiel about my health already.
I'd just like to get some feedback/advice from people who have been there - tell me how you got through a mystery illness or maybe it really *was* anxiety or how you got doctors to listen to you or give me some hope about how your mystery problem cleared up on its own!
Long, long story short (leaving out tons of details): In January of last year, my eye hurt. Two doctors found nothing, so I let it go. It apparently healed on its own after a month.
In late fall, I get the flu and never really recover after it. My eye starts to hurt again, turns into full blown headache, then a daily headache and dizziness, general flu feeling, shortness of breath, and it goes on and on. From the beginning of December to now, I have had a headache and other symptoms every day. (I had a clear MRI and good bloodwork for the record - I've seen ENT, PCP, rheumatologist, headache specialist, etc)
I can still work and I love my job - but I need to be 100% for it! I am getting tired of being sick and tired and I'm sure my fam and friends are tired of hearing about it.
I am not depressed or anxious - except about my health issue. I *am* still grieving the loss of my husband and probably will on some level for a long time.
I know the mind is powerful, but I feel this truly is a real illness I have. Every single doctor I see, when they find out my husband died 3 years ago (while taking a history), dismisses it as "anxiety" or says that "You've been through a lot." I agreed to try two different anti-depressants - it made me better able to deal with the illness but all the symptoms are still present.
Before this, I have been so lucky to never in my life have chronic pain or an illness that doctors couldn't fix up.
I'm posting today because I wasted yet another co-pay on a doctor that told me it was anxiety and/or my grief manifesting itself physically and there wasn't anything he could do for me besides let it go away on its own, eventually. I was crying in the car on the way home because I'm tired of not being taken seriously as a young woman. And I've spend a few thousand dollars on tests and meds and still have no improvement.
I feel like, as soon as doctors see "widow" or "history of anxiety" (which is true) - they dismiss any problem you have. Anything I can say to them to make them understand?
I'm also trying alternative things - clean eating, food diaries, journaling, am willing to go back to a counselor, meditation, Dr. Sarno's book on healing your pain - heck, even planning a trip to a warm place to see if it is weather related! So you know, give me any wild ideas/encouragement/advice/personal stories you have - you ladies are very smart and have always been people I looked up to. I appreciate it!
Update: Long long long story short - physical therapy took away the headache. A chiropractor (I was previously very skeptical) took away the other weird symptoms - dizziness, twitching, etc.
I *still* get headaches and symptoms if I don't go to the chiropractor or don't spend enough time lying down - like if I get a short night of sleep, I am more affected. But I am fully functional now and have been at at least 70% since May and 100% since August as long as I stay on top of it.
Possible diagnoses are SCM muscle problem or atlas/vertebrae out of place, or maybe a combo of being out of alignment and then the muscle pulling. I believe - my theory - that I have a pinched nerve and my artery is being pressed on by muscle/bone when I am upright and it eases off when I am laying down.
However, as a result of my involvement with the podcast, I am getting an angiogram on my carotid artery to make sure I don't have a dissection. I doubt the test will show anything - since my problem is when upright and the tests are done while lying down.
Sooo - it is open-ended. Podcast should be updated when they know more.
The podcast is called "Reply All." And don't judge me too harshly for it - I was emotional about things that were brought up, especially my late husband's passing and I was also nervous. There are a ton of grammar mistakes too which I am kicking myself for.
I have learned so much - I have so much more empathy/sympathy for people with chronic pain whereas before I was dismissive of it. I have been humbled by my experience and realize that the body is a mystery and we don't have all the answers.
i always wonder how she's doing with her sister-roommate. they had such a difficult relationship and while it was easy to see all the right answers as an outsider, i can imagine how hard it was to navigate those challenges in person.
Ahh, hello, ladies! I am still lurking a few times a week. Just been busy with work!
We still live together (and she still works for my company too). It is now going well. I should note that I have been sick for the past few months (nothing major, just something I can't kick) and because of that, she had to step up and do a lot of the chores. I think it made her realize how much there is to do! I try to be a kinder, gentler, more relaxed person too. And yes, she is still clogging the toilet. I may believe her that the toilet itself is to blame after clogging it once myself.
Hey, you! My advice to you is photo related - if you don't have your heart set on spots, ask your photographer!
So many times, my brides pick spots they want, but the lighting is SO much better elsewhere. My best portfolio weddings have been where I picked all the spots, to be honest. OR the bride has said "College X" and I've been able to pick the spots at College X.
She may also know the ins and outs, where you need permits for rain, where is very busy and shouldn't even be attempted, etc. There are 2 spots in my city that are great, but will eat up your entire time. Only the couple can decide if that 1 shot is worth it!
My neighborhood was built in the early 70's. There are about 5-6 different styles of house (not elevations - those are all the same). They are brick with some siding.
So you have "the big one" (it has a 2 car garage, the small one (the one car garage), the square box, the pointy roof, and the overhang.
Above me is a street with larger homes - they have "the big one" and the overhang, plus fancier options. They were Phase 1 of the development. My house was Phase 2, I guess "no variety for poor people" (joking, they just are obviously the less expensive ones where I live because they are smaller and on a hill - no level yards for the poors either).
Weirdly enough, my house is called the "Mediterranean" as I have the original blueprints. The home is a rectangular box, almost looks like a trailer a bit, TBH. NOT Mediterranean at all.
Anyway, in my neighborhood, they didn't mix them at all. They built six point roofs in a row, then an overhang, then 7 small ones in a row on one side. The other side is about 20 straight, no joke, big ones.
I live in #6 of 7 small ones and painted my door a bright color, partly because I pulled in the wrong driveway once!
It doesn't bother me because, over time, with additions, roof replacements, porch replacements, driveways needing repoured, etc, things start to look different.
I tell guests "there are 7 identical houses in a row on the left. I'm #6, bright teal door"
I still bought it. Now, if I had the choice and was building, I MIGHT get something else.
I'm a widow - no kids, I was 27 when my late husband passed away (I'm 30 years old now). I know I'm late coming into this thread to respond, just wanted to reach out and send a message of support. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Next time I talked to her, I'd be like "Oh, you said he lives on Smith Street? My friend lives in that neighborhood - the houses are so nice! What's his address? I'll see if my friend Sally knows Bob! Does he own or rent? Are you guys moving in there together?"
Stuff like that..wide-eyed innocence that gets her thinking.
If I had concrete freaking proof, like he claims he lives and owns a house on Smith Street but property records show he doesn't and you've driven by and the lot is vacant or there's a family living there but it isn't him or the lot is vacant, I'd have no problem again playing dumb and saying "Hey, I tried to send an engagement gift to Bob's address but it came back! I went to drop it off and the people living there have no idea who he is. What's going on? It's weird, right?" but all in a friendly tone.
I've never been thin but that's not what bothered me about my wedding pictures. My hair was down and curled. It got all jacked up between the salon and pictures and no one told me. We did our pictures before the ceremony and between pictures and ceremony DHs cousin fixed it but about 1/3 of my pictures are wasted. The others are ok with the angle or whatever but I'm still pissed that out of dozens of friends and family and two photographers no one freaking said a word.
I didn't consider doing a re-do. I would always think of them as my fake wedding pictures, you know?
As a wedding photographer, I hate when this happens. I sometimes *do* notice that an all-down do is not staying in at all or is messed up, but I can't say anything - because it will only lead to hurt feeling and a very delayed day - and sometimes the issue can't be fixed at all if hair styling has already left.
Then you are left with a bride who *knows* her hair looks jacked up. And is off in the bathroom trying to fix it for 15 minutes when time is ticking away on the photos.
I'll instead just try to pose her where it doesn't look that bad (minimize) and try to do what I can as far as smoothing, etc.