After the things you've posted about this counselor, you need to ditch her ass. She is either unskilled/untrained in understanding and working with relational violence issues and/or she's unethical. I don't know how anyone could not see the red flags here. (I say this as a therapist who is loathe to criticize other therapists.) What is this therapist's license? MFT, LCSW, LPCC, PhD/PsyD?
Your local YWCA may have resources related to DV and/or may be able to give you referrals and assistance. The Hotline can also connect you to services in your area.
Truly, there are so many signs of abuse here. Google "power and control wheel" while at your parents' house (internet connection he can't access). Take a look at that and see how much of your husband's behavior matches up.
You're right to reach out, now you need to reach out to professionals. They will be able to help you, you may or may not need medication. If you are prescribed medication, it's to help stabilize the chemicals in your brain to give the talk therapy time to work. You may be able to wean off later.
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, our brain chemistry goes out of balance. The good news is that there truly are effective treatments. Medication, if you're open to it, can help even out the brain chemistry, and talk therapy can help you deal with all the negative things you're saying to yourself, about yourself. It can also help you address the underlying family of origin issues (your mom). You are NOT your mother. You are not perfect, either. No one is. But there's a hell of a lot of room between functional alcoholic and perfect. Give yourself credit, you're trying to do things differently. I'll bet you are a better mother than you give yourself credit for, and that you'll be an even better mother once you get help through this. And you can absolutely just tell a therapist you feel like walking/running away from everything...that's a good place to start.
I use Clinique super rescue antioxidant night moisturizer for very dry to dry skin. I, clearly, have pretty dry skin and it's somewhat sensitive. I love this stuff.
I found a few old photos and I think this is the oldest, though you can't really see my face. Please excuse the awful fashion. I thoughts it was hot shit.
Then get black and dark grey. Two pairs of black pants makes it harder for people to tell when you're wearing the same pants, but it also looks like you're wearing the same pants every day.
I really looked at swatches online, but it didn't look the same when I got it in person. I HATE that & it's why I prefer to go to the store
I hate that! I ended up buying the cheek stain in Natural Beauty because of this and it was WAY too red for me and not nearly sheer enough. I exchanged it for Tickled, which I love.
That's why I did my research and picked one of the Tarte cheek stains without shimmer. I mean, I like shimmer and all, but I was afraid somehow I'd look like a disco ball...I wanted something that would be good for day.
I love that you like Jennifer Crusie as well. Getting Rid of Bradley was the first book of hers I ever read and I still read it frequently. What's your favorite of her books?
I often return to Crazy For You, Tell Me Lies, and Getting Rid of Bradley.
This is from a job listing I got in my email today. I think someone writing job descriptions might be a little burnt out. (Some identifying info removed)
Title: Supervising Social Worker Company: Social Services Agency Salary: Commiserate with experience Location: CA
Leaving is hard, realizing that this is who your partner is is hard. There are resources to help you. Habbsies posted excellent ones. Your local YWCA may also offer services. Please be safe, and keep us updated. From the first post I read, he sounded like an abuser...the mental and emotional control was a huge tip off. Now that you're starting to assert yourself, it's important to be safe. The hotline can help you create a safety plan (for now, if you're back with him, when you're ready to leave, etc.).
Also, please find a way to meet with your therapist individually and tell her what's really going on, being honest. If she still thinks the marriage can be fixed, find another therapist. It's unethical for her to do therapy in a marriage where there's active abuse, so that woled be a prime indicator you need to find someone new.
My understanding, having 2 cats who've had upper respiratory infections, is that there are several viruses that can cause URIs. One of them is a herpes virus, which is what our cats have.
If you want to help keep the virus from replicating and recurring frequently, make sure there's lysine in her food or you can give lysine treats. That works for us.
No hair heat styling instruments No mani/pedis No haircuts/trims No new bags No new clothes (although realistically I don't need any new makeup once I figure out my foundation situation) No wearing ponytails No wearing sneakers (NB, Puma, etc) No internet shopping No yoga pants
I realized I scheduled a family therapy session for 4:30 tomorrow. But my usual hours are 11-7 and I don't have Monday off, so it's just another day for me.
I recently bought a stila smudgestick crayon (or something like that) in the shade Antique. It's great for doing my eyes quickly, I just scribble some on my lid & in the crease, then blend with my finger. It stays put on me all day.
I just got the new Suave naturals volumizing shampoo and I love it. It definitely gives more body without drying out my hair.
At my old company they mare made a rule essentially banning meetings on Fridays so people could get their shit done and go home on time at least one day a week.
I hate calling CPS. I'm on the phone with them now because one of my clients let me read a letter from his ex-girlfriend wherein she told him, very briefly, of sexual and physical abuse she experienced.
I was on hold with CPS for at least 30 minutes to make the report. When I get in tomorrow I get to file the written follow up. Whee.
So I don't sound like a total heartless bitch, I know that this information has already been reported. However, as a mandated reporter I HAD to report as soon as I received that information.
I had the most amazing therapy group yesterday. I let one of the boys take it over because he wanted to talk about everyone getting along. It led to tears, acknowledgment of losses, more tears, sharing personal histories, taking about how they become surrogate family for one another, and with thanking me, the staff, and each other for the help and support provided. We all hugged at the end of the group.
Ummm...one of my boys, who's from a really rough area where almost everyone is gang affiliated, opened up and talked about the things he did to keep himself and his family safe. I may have provided him, and all the boys, with some good perspective on their lives by talking about how we learn to survive in our environments and do things that outside of them don't work.
We have 5 kids who are graduating. They're all graduating on time, despite all the disruptions in their lives. We're all going to be emotional on graduation day.
Broc, that's exactly what it is. They are sometimes sheerer than tinted moisturizers and are supposed to have lots of skin-beneficial ingredients. I'll post a link, if I can find it, to where I research products before I buy. I don't want to waste money on something that's not effective or is harmful/irritating.
We talk at least 50% of the time, I think. I'm comfortable with silences while we're out. Much of the talk after the main course comes has to do with the food itself. I figure people just assume we're boring.