TravelPro for sure. It really holds up. I've never found anything else that lasts nearly as long, plus they sell spare parts so if a wheel or something breaks, you can replace it easily! I travel frequently so I sprung for the TravelPro Platinum Elite spinner and also got one for my notoriously frugal boyfriend and he won't stop talking about how much he loves his. For a recent international trip I purchased a large 25" Maxlite spinner and i'm impressed how lightweight it is. I buy from either TravelPro's website (they often have discounts) or Amazon depending which is a better deal, but I've also purchased them from Macy's I think. Sometimes TJ Maxx has them, but I've heard conflicting reports on whether they're fakes.
ETA: I found out recently that their customer service is amazing. I had a wheel fall off of a piece of luggage that was over 10 years old, and otherwise in perfect condition. I reached out for a replacement part, but they had discontinued the model and didn't have the parts. So they gave me a discount code for 50% off a new piece of luggage!
I haven't been but was just coming in to echo another poster's idea of the Disney resort in Hawaii - I think it's called Aulani. It's frequently praised highly in the parent's travel facebook group I'm in, though it does look spendy. So, maybe the perfect option for a grandparent who's looking for a generous vacation. Bonus - no passports needed!
calamity , just call the ambulance company to give them your insurance info and have them submit it. They absolutely have to do that. Four years ago DD had 3 ambulance rides in one calendar year so I learned a lot about the process. Because the ambulance company was considered "out of network", they sent me the bill for the full amount, but the wonderful billing person at the ambulance company called me and informed me of my rights per the state, and told me what to submit to my insurance notifying them that they must process the claim as in network, and it worked. So I knew what to do with the subsequent ambulance rides. Apparently in MA it is law that for ambulance rides the out of network rule doesn't apply because you don't exactly have a choice in an emergency situation which company shows up. Now, the No Surprises Act is in place and I'm pretty sure this would be the case federally.
This is exactly what the OP should do. I went through this exact process a few years ago when my son was ground transported via ambulance from an ER to another hospital for surgery. The ambulance company was considered "out of network" but the issue is that NO ambulance company is "in network" and you have no control over what ambulance service you use, anyway. It took a lot of runaround, but the ambulance company is familiar with handling these things and was a big help in getting insurance to pay for it.
Just a heads up that you might encounter some difficulty in finding a provider that can see patients (even virtually through telehealth) who are in different states, because the therapist has to be licensed in both states. My partner and I live in different states and a few therapists have told me they couldn't see us for couples therapy because of that. According to them, it's also technically not permissible for them to even provide therapy via telehealth when a client is calling in from out of state due to temporary work or travel, which just seems nuts to me in 2024 given we conduct most business virtually from anywhere! You should definitely ask around though - I get the impression some therapists might be less risk-averse and be willing to turn a blind eye to the rules for this type of situation, but it sounds like they could technically lose their license if they were reported.
I have the Kindle Oasis and I LOVE it. I only use it about 50% of the time and read hard copy books the rest of the time, but I always take the Oasis with me on vacation because it’s so small. And I never would have thought I’d use the waterproof feature but I love that I can read in the bath or hanging out in the pool on vacation.
I wouldn’t give a kid a phone if they threw tantrums about giving up mine. That’s a recipe for disaster.
My 10yo has an Apple Watch - lets her text with friends and contact us or us contact her. That’s all she needs. I have no plans to get her a phone anytime soon.
Can I ask you questions about this? My 12yo middle schooler only has an iPad. For a lot of reasons (including mistakes I made with his brother!) I really didn’t want him to have a phone. It has come up a bunch of times that he needs to contact me and so I wanted to get him an Apple Watch. I went to Best Buy and they said the watch has to be tied to a phone. I thought the newer watches could function as a phone as long as you paid for a separate phone line. How do you handle this? My 14yo also wants an Apple Watch. He does have a phone. I don’t need to pay for the phone line for the watch do I?
Glad to see this recommendation, as my daughter put this game on her Christmas wish list and I was like, "whaaaaattt?!" She claims they have it in her 4th grade classroom and she loves playing it. Her teacher has won a Presidential Award for Excellence in Teaching Mathematics, so she must know what she's doing.
I will chime in with another positive review for Chase customer service. I've booked many flights directly through Chase's travel portal and had to do several last minute rebookings and found their customer service to be super helpful. There have also been more than one occasion (as recently as last week!) when I've had to cancel a hotel reservation that was clearly represented as non-refundable, and Chase has been a huge help in getting it cancelled and fully refunded. They'll state the policy for the room I booked, but then offer to put me on hold while they call the hotel directly to try to get the refund. I've never had them come back without good news. Honestly, it's surprised me because I've had HORRIBLE experiences with Expedia and other similar travel portals' customer service.
We have no homework for elementary students in our school districts because there is little research to indicate homework is beneficial in the elementary grades. I appreciate it - kids need to be able to play and use their imaginations and exercise their bodies after being in school all day.
You can get Starbucks logo iron on patches on Etsy for a pretty reasonable price. Idk if they'd come in time, but they look pretty official. I only know this because I work for Sbux corporate and have the Etsy patches on several articles of clothing
I second No Stress Chess. My kids and I started learning together when my oldest was 5. My youngest is now 6 and is a killer chess player…all learned from No Stress Chess.
Just me, kids are covered by ex-H. I pay about $60/month for med/dental/vision. My employer does not contribute to my HSA and I don't have any anticipated high medical costs annually. My deductible is $2490 individual, $4900 for a family
I've been to Costa Rica twice. Once as a girls trip and we flew in to Liberia and stayed in Tamarindo (a few days at Tamarindo Diria and a few days at a VRBO). Second time with our family (kids were 10 and 12) and stayed in Arenal/La Fortuna, Monteverde, and Manuel Antonio.
I loved all of it, but if you wanted to limit it to two places I'd probably do La Fortuna for hiking/adventure and either Tamarindo or Manuel Antonio for beach. In La Fortuna we stayed at Los Lagos spa and resort. Had numerous pools all with different temperatures, water slides, swim up bar, etc plus an AMAZING view of the mountain. As someone else mentioned the sloth tour is right there, there is zip lining, and we did a horseback ride to the La Fortuna waterfalls (you can also hike in). Plus some great restaurants nearby (food at the resort was meh).
It's a hard choice between Tamarindo and Manuel Antonio. Tamarindo has better beaches, but Manuel Antonio I think has more activities plus has the national park right there. In Tamarindo we loved the Tamarindo Diria resort. Had several pools, great food, could take surf lessons right there, could walk to restaurants in town, etc. In Manuel Antonio we stayed at an AirBnB that was fabulous. Had three units and a shared pool but what made it great was our host. He had so many good recommendations.
We rented a car both times and found it pretty easy to drive ourselves around.
Would you be willing to share the Airbnb that you liked in Manuel Antonio?
Following, as my BF and I are also planning to visit Costa Rica in February. We've purchased airfare to San Jose, but haven't settled on lodging yet, though I'm getting a little antsy about making some decisions because it's high season and it seems like many places are already getting booked up. We want sun and relaxation, beaches and wildlife and not TOO many crowds, and don't want to spend too much time driving around the country. I think we'll probably go to La Fortuna for a few days and then over to Manuel Antonio area for beach time. I love trip planning but Costa Rica has me nearly overwhelmed with choices! There's a good Facebook group I've found called Costa Rica Travel that has lots of advice, so that might be a good place to start.
I thought of another one. My friend, who has a degree in mathematics, supplemented her income by doing online math tutoring for a while, and she said it paid very well and she could work it in flexibly around her full-time job. I can't remember which site she was on, but it might be worth looking into.
Ditto the LinkedIn recommendation. It's a great place to find jobs. It's worth setting up your profile and adding contacts too - it's becoming a primary social media and connection platform for professionals. If you make a post about what you're looking for, your contacts might have some suggestions. Good luck! There are so many great remote job opportunities these days!
ETA: I found my current position when I wasn't even looking to change jobs, because the posting was shared with me on LinkedIn by someone who thought I'd find it interesting. It was a fortuitous, random opportunity that highlights the fact that job postings are frequently shared around LinkedIn through the social network.
I was cooking from the time I was nine or ten. I still have the little binder of recipe cards handwritten in my childish writing, as well as some of my children’s cookbooks. I especially loved baking…it felt like sorcery to follow the instructions of a recipe step by step and get an amazing delicious result at the end!
I don’t remember being asked to cook the entire dinner for the family but I spent a lot of time helping my mom assemble the dinners. She taught me simple things like making a bolognese sauce from scratch for spaghetti and tossed salad on the side.
My kids are still little but they like to “make concoctions” out of ingredients in the fridge or cupboard and I am pretty liberal in letting them experiment with what tastes good and what doesn’t. Feels like a good first step.
I don't have any advice, but as someone with my own share of co-parenting frustrations, I just wanted to say I'm glad you're consulting with a lawyer. My ex and I disagree vehemently on discipline strategies but the one thing I'd go to the mat on would be spanking. If I even got a hint of that happening, I'd have my lawyer dialed so fast... The mental state stuff sounds concerning. Does he have a history of mental health concerns or is this an isolated incident? I have difficulty imagining a scenario in which an adult in a healthy mental state would deliver a story like that to the other co-parent as a way to seek attention, because it could so easily get them labeled as mentally unstable and serve to get custody removed!
I adamantly disagree with this advice. Honestly this gives very much a “you two should really try to get along” vibe. If you’ve never been in court to decent a decision in legal custody for the best interest of your child, to someone who is actively Counterparenting those decisions (which it sounds like he is) you really can’t understand this dynamic.
She needs documentation of these conversations or they never happened.
Just so it's clear: The OP CANNOT make decisions right now because her ex has blocked her from communication because he has control through text and email. Are you suggesting that there are NOT ways in which she can document a phone call and what was said? Because in my state you can record phone calls. You can write down the date and time of the call as well as what was said--similar to what is done in counseling or doctor's note--and no where did I say don't document, and no where did I suggest that it was a "you should try to get along," vibe--I'm sorry you took it that way. Effectively the Ex has taken away her voice and so--NO they are NOT getting along and she has no control in the situation. Explain to the group how they are "getting along," now? Because she seems a little hamstrung and that's part of what she's asking about.
There are ways she can have her voice heard, and gain back some control. And there are ways she can safely, legally and effectively document her conversations while using the phone.
I appreciate this response because it gives me more to think about. I agree that email and text can easily be misconstrued and in my experience I've had more meaningful conversations with both my Ex and his wife in person. I don't really converse with him over the phone and am pretty careful to keep a paper trail of our interactions lately, but I do think that some of this growing animosity might be reduced with some human interaction. Recording calls would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone, if legal in my state.
My default is to be as reasonable as possible, both for my own sanity and also for the sake of my kids. This is why I posted - I want to get some perspective on my situation and find some ideas I might not have considered.
I so feel your pain. I lived in the same cul-de-sac as a woman just like this...go figure, her name was actually Karen. This was a fairly upscale neighborhood and she made her immediate next door neighbors miserable for years, calling the cops every time they'd have a Bible Study and there were more than 4 cars parked in the cul-de-sac, or when they'd have a get together with a fire in their patio firepit she'd call the Fire Department. She threatened to call the police on the 4th of July when my 3 and 5 year old were enjoying sparklers and pop-its and no-sound fireworks in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon because we were "bothering her and her husband", and in the Fall she yelled at them for jumping into the pile of leaves waiting for collection in the cul-de-sac because she'd spent the effort to rake them perfectly. During COVID shut down she came out to observe them riding their bikes and yell at them not to dare touch her garbage can on the curb because she didn't want their COVID germs. Hahahaha! The stories go on forever. I was so glad to sell my house in the divorce and move far away from that bitch.
All that to say, if you can nail this woman on any charge whatsoever, don't hesitate. I only wish I'd had the opportunity myself.
Thanks everyone for your input. I really try to be a reasonable co-parent so it's nice to know I'm not out to lunch in thinking these requests are over the line. I called my attorney's office again and was able to get in for an appointment on Wednesday (!!) so hopefully will have some guidance soon.
IndiaInk , the not wanting to medicate a legitimate ADHD diagnosis, especially if meds are recommended by the pros, is insane to me and it also shows a profound lack of understanding as to how the ADHD brain processes things and the person struggles. I can look back and I can see my socially awkward moments, my lifelong struggle with school, feeling like a failure, lack of being able to stay organized or in a good routine.
The meds are not bad when they are helping the brain do, what neurotypical brains do, and feel more balanced in life.
I 100% agree. This is something I'm going to talk to my lawyer about because it's making my heart hurt for my son. ExH was always fully on board with medication for our DD who has ADHD and agreed that getting the right dosage has been life changing for her. But when we walked out of the doctor's office after getting the same diagnosis for our son (after a year of him struggling tremendously in Kindergarten) he told me he had to discuss with his wife before deciding whether to medicate, and made the offhand comment that "kids these days are overmedicated for ADHD". Wut?!!??
I’m a stepmom and my take is a little different on some of this.
We have a group text and I also prefer we communicate everything major through that, because if they text just each other my husband forgets to tell me and then I get screwed. Like my SD won’t eat peppers and I already meal planned and grocery shopped for stuffed peppers for 2 dinners this week, and since I’m not a monster I won’t serve them with her here. So now I’m running to the grocery store last minute. Or, my husband has to work late on a night that my stepkid has an activity, and now I need to cancel dinner with my friend to cover, and if I had known I could have planned. Yes my husband SHOULD tell me, but sometimes he gets caught up at work. So actually, swapping days occurs in her home too and it affects her life too, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to run it by both of them. I assume he’s stopped responding when you message just him, because he’s so sick of asking you to include her.
If she’s nice to your kids, I’d just embrace involving her. If not, idk, I guess push back with the lawyer? But conflict with the ex wife is not going to make her treat your kids any nicer (I would never do this but it happens).
Regarding the not tolerating lateness and the other rudeness, that’s utter bullshit and I’d push back hard on that.
ETA to be clear, I don’t insist, or threaten, and my husband doesn’t ignore his ex if I’m not on the communication. I’m just quietly annoyed. She sounds like a LOT. I’m just saying, I can see why she wants to be included.
ETA again to play devil’s advocate. This woman married your husband and now shares her home with these kids who she is still getting to know. She has given up a LOT, because she loves him, and since you didn’t suggest she mistreats the kids I assume she’s trying hard there too. All she asks is that the ex wife include her on communication. And the ex wife refuses. Repeatedly, only contacts her ex. Your husband keeps asking the ex to include his new wife, and she won’t, so he’s stopped responding unless you’re added, and so then she goes and makes her own decisions rather than include you. It’s to the point that the ex wife is making time with her lawyer to insist on her right to push you out and keep you in the dark. Instead of just CCing you on the emails. How would YOU feel about the ex wife? You’d feel like she hates you and like you’re completely unwanted. When you’ve given up a huge chunk of your life to help raise her kids. That really does bring out the worst in people. All of a sudden being 3 minutes late feels like just another example of her selfishness and lack of consideration, and there’s a confrontation over it. Again I’m not condoning it, just saying- you’re refusing to integrate her into the family structure and that is for sure gonna bring you hostility back in your direction.
I think you misunderstood me because I *have* been copying her on everything as requested, because (a) I want to keep the peace and (b) I absolutely recognize that for many scheduling purposes it's helpful for her to be in the loop. It's only lately that I'm pushing back because it's utter BS that my ExH won't communicate with me about medical and other parenting decisions unless I involve his wife. Yes, she's helping raise my kids 50% of the time but I'm sorry - she doesn't get equal decision making power.
I'm very friendly toward her and have never, to my knowledge, given her reason to think I hold any hostility toward her. Her kids and my kids all go to school together, she comes to all the parent-teacher conferences and I let her know I appreciate her input and involvement in my kids' lives. But at the same time, I'd argue that she knowingly and willingly "gave up a huge chunk of her life to help raise my kids" and "gave up a lot because she loves my Ex". I did not ask her to do that and it's not necessary for me to grovel in gratitude for her sacrifice and give her equal decision making power in the kids' medical and parenting decisions just because she wants it.
Would you have a meal with him and every now and then post-divorce and pre-second marriage?
I’m trying to get a feel for how much he has changed and what your relationship was like before wife came on the scene. If he has truly changed 180 degrees, I’d be worried about him.
Yes! We got along great for the year post-separation before he remarried! We invited one another over to share meals, he even invited me to celebrate Christmas the first year he had the kids for the holiday. I look back on our emails from that time period and it was remarkable how well we co-parented! He's taken a 180 in almost every single way since his second marriage. Used to be light hearted, very social, active in leading social elements of a recreational sport club he was in and he's doing NONE of those things anymore. I actually feel concerned for him, tbh.
The wording suggested around a non-response = agreement is pretty common at my job, we call it negative consent.
The trouble is, the things I'm messaging him about generally need his response because they're things like asking him to swap some parenting days with me to accommodate my business travel. So it's like he holds me hostage until I communicate through the format of his choosing.
Can you get a call with your lawyer sooner? This would irritate me so much that waiting another 3+ weeks would be painful.
I like the idea of being able to say “I am doing xyz unless I hear from you by end of day”, but I would want confirmation from my lawyer that I could do that. I worry about him claiming he never received the communication and them retaliating with their own lawyer.
So, I've tried this and he either ignores my email completely or loses his shit on me for trying to make a decision that he's not aligned with.
Example of ignoring my email: I email him without cc'ing his wife, to request swapping some parenting days to accomodate my upcoming business travel. Ignored. When I follow up, I'm told to copy his wife otherwise he will not respond.
Example of losing his shit: I email him to say I'm going to go ahead and fill the rx for our son's ADHD medication, since he's been diagnosed and the same medication has worked wonders for our DD. (ExH and new wife are categorically against medicating, which is funny because ExH was totally fine with treating our DD's ADHD with medication before new wife entered the picture). ExH blows up my phone with messages saying he's not in agreement with medicating and I cannot pursue it without his agreement, etc. True....I cannot. So I'm in a bit of a bind.
Will see about getting in earlier with the lawyer. When I called back in May they booked me like 2 months out
Long time board participant here, but I don't post a whole lot. I have a situation that I'd love you all to weigh in on....
Background: My exH and I separated in early 2020 and our divorce was official a year later. We have a 9 year old DD and 6 year old DS together. He remarried pretty quickly and I am in a committed relationship now as well, though my bf lives in another state. ExH and I were very amicable throughout the entire process but he has gotten increasingly rigid and unbending towards me since his marriage.
Here's the dilemma. (Disclaimer, I have an appointment to talk to my lawyer about this in July, but since it's irritating me on a daily basis I thought I'd crowd source some opinions) Though we only communicate to discuss the kids and our parenting schedule, ExH now insists I copy his wife on every single communication, whether it be by email or text. He categorically refuses to respond to me if I don't copy her. He ignores my messages and if I ask him to respond, he redirects me to the group thread. We are talking about things as wide-ranging in importance from whether or not to treat DS' ADHD with medication, to confirming I picked up the kids from the bus stop.
I (and our mutual friends) have definitely noticed an increase in controlling behavior from him, that wasn't present in our marriage. He used to be pretty easy-going so this is new for me to navigate and I can only assume it's, in part, initiated by his wife. On the rare occasions I talk to them in person, they are very stern and unsmiling and unfriendly. Recently, when I arrived 3.5 minutes after the time I stated I'd pick up the kids, they informed me as a united front that lateness would no longer be tolerated. If we set up an in person meeting to discuss parenting concerns, she's required to be present and he gives her equal floor to weigh in on all aspects of the discussion and wont' make a decision without her consensus.
My therapist was outraged on my behalf when I told her he won't discuss the kids with me if the wife isn't involved, and said I should talk to my lawyer because it's likely a violation of our parenting agreement. I did set up an appointment, but I guess I'm wondering if I'm being a bit unreasonable. Wife is helping him raise my kids and will presumably be in their lives long term, so I'm not unwilling to involve her in some communications where it makes sense. I have tried all along to be reasonable and go the extra mile to keep the peace because he's a great dad and I firmly believe there's no reason to be unpleasant toward one another just because we weren't a fit for one another. We were together 16 years, he's a really good guy, and I wish the best for him. But I also don't want to be subjected to silly games and set up a precedent that I'm willing to comply with whatever new rules they come up with. I don't know...what says ML?