The same thing is happening to me. I am in a wedding in September. I was not along to choose the dress and the bride ordered them from a store that is only local to her. She gave us a size chart to measure ourselves off of and we were supposed to call into the store. I told the store that we may be ttc soon and might be pregnant and might not be. The suggested ordering 2 sizes up from what I normally would order, just in case. Well, the dress came in and doesn't even get close to fitting. I ordered an extra yard of fabric and am having alterations done 3 weeks before the wedding. Hoping everything works out! The thing I didn't expect was my lower ribcage expanding so much before I was showing.
Maybe this is a stupid question, (no kids yet) but why can't she sleep on the floor on a blanket?
Because hotels aren't child-proofed. A ten month can usually roll and crawl, some even walk. Leaving them to play with lamp cords, outlets, trash cans, phone cords, luggage racks, isn't an option, and most kids equate being on the floor with play time.
I am about 21.5 weeks and I am still in regular clothes. Not all of them fit, just enough that I can get though a few weeks. I will probably be switching in the next week or so.
I had one...but it was friends only. No moms. Though after our rehersal my soon to be mother-in-law handed me a personal gift for the honeymoon. Awkward to say the least.
I don't think that my approach is coming across clearly. I do think their is a lifetime of consequences, for both of the people involved. No matter if a baby is made or not. Maybe you don't and that is fine, but sex is not something that I take lightly. I do think that it impacts a person's life and that is the case if it is done at 14, 24 or 104. To me, sex isn't like buying a cup of coffee. But you are entitled to your opinion.
I do think sex is a big deal at all ages, or should be, and I also think that teenagers shouldn't have sex.
Well, at the very least we can agree on those points.
Here is what I don't understand about all of you...why do you feel the need to mock my choices? I am going to do the best job I can raising my kid. To me, that includes teaching her values and morals that my husband, myself and my family share. Just like I am assuming all of you do with your children. If it doesn't work out, she doesn't learn and chooses to go a different direction in her life, fine, but I am going to do my best to raise my kids as I see fit.
So you would rather her enter adulthood with no knowledge of how her own fertility works? You would rather her never learn about birth control, or just have to find out on line, gleaning god knows what from Dr. Google?
You also realize that even women who "save themselves for their wedding night" will still need birth control, yes?
Safe sex is great within marriage. So yeah, I don't think I ever said I won't teach my girls about birth control. I will just reiterate that birth control is only to be used when having sex and teach them that our family believes that sex should wait until after marriage.
Religion is not the only reason not to have sex. Other reasons include not producing a baby that you are not ready to raise or getting a disease from someone else, among others. If my kid does not choose to follow my religion, yes, it may mean that they make different choices. My husband was raise in a household in that religion was not pushed very hard. The Christmas/Easter type, but he ended up in the same position as me, so it is quite possible.
When it comes down to it though I have no idea. I have never raised a kid, I am sure that it will be difficult and trying at times. I am basing my answers to your questions on how I think it will work, but I am sure that I will have to adapt along the way.
No, of course it's not the only reason. But the potential for both avoiding pregnancy and disease exists, and are rarely enough of a threat to be the sole reasons that a teen decides not to have sex.
There just seems to be this odd thread of authoritarianism in your approach, which comes out when you talk about needing a girl to have lifetime consequences for having sex, as though sex is a decision that will make a girl "bad" and it's a stigma that is permanent. That kind of mentality, if it is clear to strangers on the internet, is SURE to come across to your kids, and that's the kind of thing that kids rebel against.
I don't think that my approach is coming across clearly. I do think their is a lifetime of consequences, for both of the people involved. No matter if a baby is made or not. Maybe you don't and that is fine, but sex is not something that I take lightly. I do think that it impacts a person's life and that is the case if it is done at 14, 24 or 104. To me, sex isn't like buying a cup of coffee. But you are entitled to your opinion.
Well, then I will ask him/her about what they went over and the discussion will follow from there.
My mom also preached that I need to wait until I'm married and that we could talk about anything anytime.
Well, when I went to her about getting birth control, at 17, she flipped out and yelled at me. I changed my mind about birth control but still had sex with my boyfriend, with condoms. I'm lucky I didn't end up pregnant my last year of high school. Looking back I should have gone to Planned Parenthood. As soon as I went to college, I got on birth control, without her knowing.
My point here is, you may preach one thing, but be prepared for your teen to do the complete opposite.
My point is that I am not out campaigning for anything. You won't find my out protesting in front of an abortion clinic or standing on a street corner holding a sign with dead babies. I think it is wrong, but I don't go that far.
Where you turned me was saying that you'd raise her better than that.
I think you are woefully ignorant of how much control you have over a kid. Even if you raise them to know where you stand and teach them about exactly how hard life will be if they get pregnant - you are still dealing with children whose brains aren't done growing. And they have hormones and attitudes. And some just rebel.
You can be strict as hell with them, or guilt them or whatever as far as tactics go. Even if they are only at school or home - they could still find a way to do it.
Your tone has a smugness about it. Like you are right and have better morals. Not mention, your simplistic approach needs to be taken down a notch. It if were such a sure bet (teaching and reasoning with them, and keeping a close eye) then there wouldn't be tens of thousands of conservative families dealing with teen pregnancies.
Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as smug.
I think that we all think we are right in our opinions, or we wouldn't have those opinions. Like I said in another post, I have never raised a kid, I am sure it will be harder than I expect and I will face many challenges in raising them.
Well, then I will ask him/her about what they went over and the discussion will follow from there.
My point was, that you seemed to miss, is that you need to discuss this before the school does, or they will not be comfortable talking to you about it. Just saying keep your legs crossed/dick in your pants for God because that's what your daddy and I believe only works for the Duggars.
Eh...it worked for my parents. But yes, I plan on giving my children more education than my parents gave me on the subject.
Almost guaranteed, I said. Of course, sometimes it DOES work, in its fashion, but it doesn't have any contingencies built in. What if your teen daughter decides that she doesn't believe in any sort of god, even though you do? If religion is the only reason not to have sex right there and then, does that mean that no god = have all the sex right now? It probably does, right, at least to the teen?
Religion is not the only reason not to have sex. Other reasons include not producing a baby that you are not ready to raise or getting a disease from someone else, among others. If my kid does not choose to follow my religion, yes, it may mean that they make different choices. My husband was raise in a household in that religion was not pushed very hard. The Christmas/Easter type, but he ended up in the same position as me, so it is quite possible.
When it comes down to it though I have no idea. I have never raised a kid, I am sure that it will be difficult and trying at times. I am basing my answers to your questions on how I think it will work, but I am sure that I will have to adapt along the way.
What I forsee happening is the kid going to school on "sex day" and the coming home with questions and I will answer them as I see fit.
My kid is 14, and has had two years of sex ed, with a whole semester of classes devoted to it this year. If the school is the primary instructor of sex education, your kid is not going to come to you and ask you a damn thing. You need to get into this century.
Well, then I will ask him/her about what they went over and the discussion will follow from there.
Here is what I don't understand about all of you...why do you feel the need to mock my choices? I am going to do the best job I can raising my kid. To me, that includes teaching her values and morals that my husband, myself and my family share. Just like I am assuming all of you do with your children. If it doesn't work out, she doesn't learn and chooses to go a different direction in her life, fine, but I am going to do my best to raise my kids as I see fit.
It's the weirdness of the authoritarian approach to it all that makes people harp on you. For example, Sara also wants her son to wait until adulthood for sex, but no one thinks she's stupid and awful because she helps him reason through why this is a bad idea, and gives him as much information as possible so that he can reach that conclusion. You take an approach that is almost guaranteed not to work, and even if it does will have far-reaching ramifications that damage your kid's self-worth and decisionmaking abilities. That pisses people off.
Why is it guaranteed not to work though? It is how I was raised. It was how my husband was raised. And I mean really, what is the worst that could happen? My kid doesn't listen to me and goes a different direction with their life. Whatever. As long as I know that I did the absolute best job that I could then what more can I do.
As for self-worth and decision making abilities. I don't think that teaching them not to have sex before marriage and that abortion is not something you want to have to choose would void either of these things. The reasons for my believing this go back to my religous upbringing. I know that my choices and my religion are not for everyone, but as for me and my family, that is the path we are taking.