I'm mostly a lurker and have no official advice for you that hasn't been given already, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really proud of you!
What you did tonight was hard and you did it! You didn't waste any time, didn't listen to any of his lame ass excuses and you put yourself first. You're a strong woman and I hope that you remember that when you're feeling sad about all of this.
Congratulations of freeing yourself of this enormous douchebag!!
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Oct 25, 2012 14:24:44 GMT -5
What year were you married? 2007 Was your wedding day stressful at all? not one bit If you could change anything about the experience, what would it be? different photographer Favorite Part of the day? I have two. 1) getting ready with my bridesmaids. The B&B we got ready at had a closet full of boxes and boxes of old fashioned hats. We had such a blast trying them all on while getting ready. 2) right after the ceremony. H and I were with our favorite people (family, bridesmaids, and groomsmen) and all of a sudden I realized that we were married. We had actually done it.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Oct 8, 2012 10:24:14 GMT -5
H and I live across the country from all of our family and can rarely afford to fly home for the holidays. Last year one of MH's coworkers was gracious enough to invite us over to their Thanksgiving dinner. It was so interesting to be immersed in someone's family dinner, but immediately feel and be treated as one of the family. There was a fascinating discussion about the family origins in Poland. The coworker's mother was there and it was so interesting to hear about her life growing up and all of the experiences that she has had. I love stuff like that.
This year we got a Thanksgiving invite from a different coworker. We went to this coworker's house last year for Christmas (His coworkers apparently take pity on us - the lonely couple with no family around ) and it was epic. This family is hilarious, high energy, and so much fun. We got there fairly early in the day and immediately had a cheesy Christmas champagne glass thrust in our hands. (I've been googling for 15 minutes and can't find a picture. They had Christmas figurines attached to the bottom inside of the glass. They were awesome!) It was like the never empty glass of champagne. I don't even want to know how many bottles of champagne we went through that day!! They had endless hilarious family Christmas traditions. It was an amazing Christmas. I can't wait to see what Thanksgiving has in store.
So to sum up: I'm not sure what's on the menu or what I'll be bringing yet, but it is guaranteed to be a good time!
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Oct 8, 2012 9:52:25 GMT -5
I don't think you sound insane. But that could be because I'm the same way.
MH and I used to get into a lot of similar arguments. I need way more sleep than him, I am a light sleeper, and have a hard time falling back asleep if I get woken up in the middle of the night. H tends to fall asleep while playing computer games or watching t.v. He used to wake up and come to bed at all hours of the night and wake me up when he was getting into bed. We finally came to a compromise. If he wakes up and it's after 3:00 a.m. he sleeps on the couch. If it's before 3 he comes to bed and I don't get mad if he wakes me up. It's worked so far. He ends up sleeping on the couch a lot. I thought that would be enough to motivate him to find a way not to fall asleep like that, but it hasn't. Oh well, his problem, not mine. ;D
I think everyone has great ideas so far. I don't have anything to add, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone!! Good luck.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Oct 6, 2012 0:27:53 GMT -5
I went to sea world when I was in the 9th grade. When I saw the killer whale show I decided that's what I wanted to do. During the process of getting my animal training degree I realized that I didn't want to work with killer whales, or the entertainment side of animal training. I'm currently working as a veterinary assistant waiting anxiously for when the time is right for me to pursue animal training (read: when we can finally save up enough money to move to where my dream jobs are). Hopefully that will happen in the next year cuz I'm sure not getting any younger!
ETA: this thread is really fascinating. I love reading all of these stories!
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Oct 3, 2012 18:43:06 GMT -5
At my previous job we had an applicant who looked like she was high. She wasn't really paying attention during the interview, not making eye contact, eyes blood shot, smelled like weed. You get the idea...
Her phone rang during the interview. She answered it. She chatted for a moment with whoever was calling her. Then she just walked out without a word. ^o)
When I cook a whole chicken, I like to use the stock and the leftover chicken to make something like soup, pot pie, or chicken and dumplings later that week. If I'm not going to use the stock within say 4 or 5 days, I'll freeze it.
This is what I do, too. After I roast a whole chicken or chicken thighs, I save the bones in a large Ziplock in the freezer. I also use a big Ziplock to save root vegetable scraps (tops of carrots, ends/outer skins of onions, leftover celery sticks from a veggie tray) as I have them.
When I have time, I put all of that in my crockpot along with whole peppercorns, garlic, whatever other herbs I have on hand, and a little splash of white vinegar. Then I cover it all with water, cook it until it becomes broth, strain it, and then I pour it into Ziplocks (I open the Ziplocks and brace them inside a measuring cup, both to steady it and so I know how much of a portion I'm pouring. I usually do one-cup portions, and maybe a bag with a two-cup portion, because most recipes call for that much).
I keep it in the freezer, unless I know I'll definitely need it within a couple days.
I've done this a couple of times with great success. I've never had to add any liquid to the crock pot when cooking the chicken. There are always enough juices in the chicken itself. Keep in mind I've only done this a few times, though.
Today - Butternut Squash Lasagna from Gina's Skinny Recipes blog Tuesday - Pizza Margarita Wednesday - Misoyaki Butterfish - Epicurious Thursday - Lentil Black Bean Soup - Smells Like Home blog Friday - Honey Lime Enchiladas - Stephanie Cooks blog (making a full batch and freezing 1/2) Saturday - Jerk Chicken with Fettuccine Alfredo
The biggest thing for me was realizing its ok not to have kids. I was raised in the deep south where you are married with kids by 25 or a hag. It took seeing people who were happy and successful without kids to realize that it really was a valid life plan.
H was always against them. And when I'm honest with myself, I just expected them to be part of life more than actively wanting kids. And I never wanted to raise them. I use to argue with my exes about how there was no way I'd be a SAHM. Nope. Couldn't do it. Then H came along saying it was ok to not have kids, and I met a few professional women who didn't. And then suddenly, I ended up ok with embracing what I knew deep down.
Not sure if that answered the question, but it's my random thoughts on being CFC. And I'm 38. Not changing now.
It is helpful, thank you.
I suspect my hesitancy has less to do with my desire to ever have kids then it does being "left-behind" if you know what I mean. Granted, only a couple of our friends have kids, but it's more of the societal pressure that's nagging at me. Plus as an only child, I'm really not excited to tell my parents they aren't getting a grandkid.
MH and I were in a similar boat as RubyTue except that I was the one that told MH it was okay to not have kids. We grew up in the south and the "expectation" was that you graduated from high school, went to college, got married, and had kids. I never wanted kids, and when MH and I started getting serious I told him that if he wanted kids our relationship wasn't going to work out. He thought about it and realized that he felt "expected" to have kids because that's what everyone does. We are still young (29 and 30) but are very secure in our decision.
My parents were okay with it, but H's parents (mom especially) gave us a really hard time about it for a while. H finally told her that it was OUR life and OUR decision and we were not her grand-baby making machines. Well...that's how I said it in my head, he worded it a bit kinder. She's finally backed off.
As to the bolded...I thought it read "left-handed" and I was sooooo confused about what that had to do with having children. I was thinking: does she feel it's her obligation to try to pass down her left-handedness? And then I couldn't remember if hand dominance is even genetically determined. Reading fail.
Yes. I miss my maiden name and sometimes wish I hadn't changed.
This...
I would have absolutely changed my name if we got divorced. I missed and identified with my maiden name so much that I recently changed my name back even though we are still married. But I'm strange like that.
We are totally insignificant. I wish more people realized that.
I actually find the idea of insignificance comforting. If we were it, that would be incredibly disappointing.
So very, very true. I also think it's incredible that it launched 35 years ago, it is billions of miles away, and we can still recieve images it transmits. I can't get receptionon my cell phone half the time.
I love space. If I had been a little smarter...ok, a lot smarter...I would have loved to be an astronomist.
If my H used that bullshit sort of reasoning, I'd give him all sorts of hell.
Luckily, I dont have to worry about it, DH got the snip snip a little over a month ago. Super simple, I dint know why anyone wouldn't do it if they don't want kids.
We have to wait. No doctor will perform it on H. He's 30 this year and were CFBC.
I'm sorry you can't find a doctor that will do it. MH had one done last year when he was 29. The doctor asked him a lot of questions, but then did it no problem.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Aug 15, 2012 14:53:38 GMT -5
I finished watching season 2 of Pretty Little Liars the other day and was super excited to start season 3 today. I just found out that the episodes are only available online for a week after air. Now I have to wait until they are on Netflix. :-( :-( No guilty pleasure for me today.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Aug 10, 2012 17:15:38 GMT -5
I have two pet snakes. That being said, I would have heart attack if I found a snake in my bed, shower, or toilet. Nightmares for years! I studied abroad in the Australian rainforest for a month in college and we had to check our sleeping bags each night for snakes and spiders. Yikes.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Aug 10, 2012 16:43:33 GMT -5
Our neighbors have guests that routinely park in front of our house. They have the whole length of our yard to park in front of, but one person in particular pulls up as close to our driveway entrance as they can. Our driveway has a very small entrance, so it makes it incredibly hard to pull into our driveway without hitting their car. Other than that I don't care where people park.
I would board him. If it's a really good boarding facility where he'll get lots of interaction and play time (as opposed to some kennels where they just hang out alone in their kennel all the time), he's way better off there then at home.
I swear our dog would rather be at the pet hotel we take him to than at home--he gets constant play time and interaction. And, as in your situation, our cat is thrilled because she gets the house to herself
My thoughts exactly.
ETA: I just saw your picture. I. want. him. Seriously! He is adorable.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Aug 2, 2012 13:31:33 GMT -5
I don't know if this will help you at all but...
getting peed/pooped/anal glanded on: 3-4 x/week (okay, "anal glanded" isn't an official term) getting snapped at by animals: 10 x/week getting snapped at by owners: 20 x/week being told that an owner knows more about my job that I do: 2-3 x/week being told by an owner that if they charged as much as we do they would be a millionaire: 1-2 x/month (believe me, this is not the case. Vet care is expensive, but people don't get into this field to become rich) loving on animals and getting kisses from them: 1,000 x/week cleaning up poop, pee, vomit, etc: 7-10 x/week assisting in surgery: 2-3 x/week giving injections, drawing blood/urine, placing catheters, giving vaccines, etc: all of the rest of the time
I'm a veterinary assistant. Even though some days can be really sad/gross/hard, I love my job.
My dad has an interview on Friday and the interviewer said that it was "more casual" so he didn't need to wear a suit. So we were talking about what that meant and I said I'd probably still wear a tie. He made a comment about ironing a certain shirt and I said "OMG, do not wear a short sleeve shirt with a tie." He said he's trying to get a job, not win a fashion show. LOL-this is the same man who said he'd only wear sandals if he could wear socks.
If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know that "real" ties existed until far too late in my life. My dad only wore clip on ties, so I thought that's how all ties were. ;D
My random: H and I are headed to San Diego this weekend. He's going to be performing Chinese lion dance before the Padres game on Saturday. I'm super excited to see him perform. I also can't wait for the game. I love baseball. And San Diego!
Thanks! I work in the veterinary field as a vet assistant, and there seems to be high turnover. People are always quitting/cutting back on hours to go to vet or RVT school. I worked at this clinic for over three years and love my coworkers and miss them, but we had a new owner that was making us all miserable. DH and I went over the budget a lot before I actually got up the guts to do it. The best part was my bff/co-worker put her notice in two hours before I did. The look on my boss's face was classic. Well worth it.
I actually thought of quite a few MMers as I was doing it. You know... because I'm one of those creepy lurkers who reads all of your posts, empathizes, but never actually says anything.
Wow, I didn't know there was such a demand for vet assistants. I was a creepy lurker for nearly two years before we transitioned to this board. It's a lot more fun to post, I promise!
I wish I could post more. I can't post during work, and I'm on the west coast. By the time I get home from work everyone else is in bed or what I would say has already been said.
Last week I quit my job without another one lined up. I know, I know... I was beyond miserable everyday and there are pretty much always jobs available in my field, so I wasn't too worried. I accepted a job offer on Monday contingent on my background check coming back clean. It will. I am very much enjoying my time off, but can't wait to start my new job!
I fantasize about doing this on a regular basis, and I think quite a few other MMers do to. Congratulations on finding another job so quickly! This gives me hope.
Thanks! I work in the veterinary field as a vet assistant, and there seems to be high turnover. People are always quitting/cutting back on hours to go to vet or RVT school. I worked at this clinic for over three years and love my coworkers and miss them, but we had a new owner that was making us all miserable. DH and I went over the budget a lot before I actually got up the guts to do it. The best part was my bff/co-worker put her notice in two hours before I did. The look on my boss's face was classic. Well worth it.
I actually thought of quite a few MMers as I was doing it. You know... because I'm one of those creepy lurkers who reads all of your posts, empathizes, but never actually says anything.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Aug 1, 2012 13:21:42 GMT -5
Last week I quit my job without another one lined up. I know, I know... I was beyond miserable everyday and there are pretty much always jobs available in my field, so I wasn't too worried. I accepted a job offer on Monday contingent on my background check coming back clean. It will. I am very much enjoying my time off, but can't wait to start my new job!
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Jul 24, 2012 17:46:06 GMT -5
Vent: Owning a pet is a privilege, not a right.
We had a dog come in today that just broke my heart. It is a 72 pound sheltie (!!!!!) that has been living in the backyard for god knows how long. The owners bring it in "because it has a sore". They told the vet that is is perfectly healthy otherwise and was just running around and playing yesterday. Yeah...no. It has multiple open sores, and I seriously doubt that the 72 pound sheltie was just running around yesterday. He has horrible arthritis in all of his joints and can barely walk. That didn't happen overnight. I know that in some cases owners are unable to care for their animals properly because of finances, but it is clear in this case that the dog has been ignored for a very long time. If you can't give your pet the care, love and attention it needs you need to find other options. Especially if you can't even make your dog comfortable. It breaks my heart.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Jul 18, 2012 10:44:30 GMT -5
Thanks for the examples so far. IF they offer me the job the shift would likely be 4p-12a or 12a to 8a. I'm a night owl, so I don't think night shift would bother my sleep schedule too much. Of course I've never done it, so who knows! I'm thinking that I would prefer the 12a to 8a because I could sleep until H comes home and we could spend the evening together before I go to work. I'm sure there are unforseen kinks to that plan, though
One HUGE benefit to taking this job would be I could leave the job I have now. ;D Currently I never know how many hours I'm going to get each day when I go in to work, and the hours at this hospital would be much more stable. (Just to name one reason why a new job would be preferable to my current one - there are many!)
I'm mostly worried that not seeing much of each other would be a strain. We are hoping to be able to move to WA in a year, so I'm sure we can handle anything until then.
Of course, all of this is putting the cart before the horse. I need a job offer first.
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Jul 18, 2012 10:16:41 GMT -5
I have an interview tomorrow with an emergency/specialty animal hospital. They are likely hiring for evening or overnight hours. MH works the typical 8a-6p and I've always had similar hours. Does anyone have experience with working different shifts than your SO? Is it miserable? How do you make it work so that you are still able to spend time together? Thanks for any insight!
Post by thinklikeajellyfish on Jul 16, 2012 12:06:30 GMT -5
1. Doggy Day Care is where you take your dog during the day while you're at work. They get to play with other dogs and be tired when you come pick them up.
2. Pet insurance covers different things depending on the company and the plan. Some plans cover only routine costs while others cover emergencies and major surgeries. Some cover pr-existing or breed specific conditions while others done. You pay all vet costs up front (at least that's what I've experienced) and then submit a form and your receipts to be reimbursed by the insurance company. Whether it's worth it or not depends on the company and plan you choose. I don't have any personal experience with pet insurance, so I don't have any that I can recommend, but I'm sure others will.