This happens and it will be fine. Agree with the advice that your dream job came up and you regret having to leave so quickly. 4 weeks notice is quite generous in most roles.
Bonuses aren't taxed any differently than any other income--they are sometimes subject to higher withholding at the time of the check, but any over or under withholding washes out when you file taxes.
Go to LensCrafters and find stuff you like--the dimensions are usually on the arms. Then check out zenni or coastal and buy things with similar dimensions
For painful but loved shoes--get a pair or nice thick fuzzy socks, soak the parks that are tight and hurt your feet in some rubbing alcohol, wear them around. This may stretch them out and make them comfortable.
I'm pretty sure I have that exact quartz based on the pattern. Again, LOVE. It's like indestructible - hot pans, citrus, whatever. Contrast that with the marble counter we put in my upstairs bath that already has a tiny mark from when I set down a bottle of wine on it and it dripped. NOPE.
I forget and accidentally rinse at least 50% of the time. Then I swear, put more toothpaste on the brush and just "apply" it for lack of a better term. Then inevitably I've forgotten my morning medication and have to drink water and fuck it up again.
Our only fights have been around division of responsibility (me having way too much of it) - we're in a good place now with it, but we outsource a ton of stuff. My mom was a married single parent because of my dad's job, and I would never want that life. And I know DH has those tendencies which gives me major pause. He's gotten somewhat better, but if push came to shove and someone had to skip work to deal with a sick kid--right now I think that person would be me. -Two demanding jobs, both of which we love, both of us are wired to be workaholics.
I'm just going to respond to this part. Maybe because you've already figured out how to outsource a lot of stuff this won't be as big a deal, but to expand on what I've been experiencing -- adding a third person to your life just, for me, seemed to exponentially increase the to-do list and the things you have to constantly keep track of/plan for mentally. DH and I actually split things fairly evenly, and I still feel resentful, because we can do 50-50, but there's still 150% to do. Because even though he's doing bedtime and bath time tonight, I'm not getting a break, I'm cleaning up dinner and running the vacuum (didn't I just do that last weekend, why is it already time to do it again? Oh right, because this little person gets things messy daily and I let it slide last night because I was trying to finish up something for work after kid went to bed).
Because on Friday night I'm already spinning my mental wheels thinking what's the weather going to be this weekend and will taking DS to Target be enough to occupy him between breakfast and lunch on Saturday or do I need to plan to go to the park with the train slide (again *yawn*). And do we have enough milk for the weekend or do I need to find some time to go to the store. And it's close to Christmas so what gifts to I need to pick up for the daycare teachers. All the things that are not and will never be on DH's radar and that I can't relax until they're taken care of and space is made in my brain.
No I don't think we have solved it, and it's probably my #1 reservation. There is only so much that can be outsourced, and I know with certainty that DH can never be trained to think of these things that need to be thought of--that is still my job now, and it's really hard to do traveling as much as I do for work. A child would make it infinitely worse. There is only so much that can be task-rabbited or amazon primed, and we may already be bumping up against that boundary.
Thanks you guys - this is a great thread and please keep it coming. On the medical stuff--it will be fine, but I have terrible fibroids that are causing me a lot of issues (and very likely making me infertile right at the moment) - I'm going to get that taken care of surgically, but then medical advice will be to get any pregnancies done quickly so I can have a hysterectomy or some other more permanent solution--because they will more than likely grow back and be a long-term problem. I'm 34 at the moment and will likely be 35 by the time I can get my issues fixed and be cleared to TTC hypothetically. If we don't want kids, knowing that just lets me do more aggressive treatments sooner.
My thinking, stream of consciousness-style:
-We have our shit together - good jobs, house, money, there's no logistical reason not to. Of course that means we have a fun life now with travel and restaurants and whatnot. -We have a very solid relationship and partnership. Our only fights have been around division of responsibility (me having way too much of it) - we're in a good place now with it, but we outsource a ton of stuff. My mom was a married single parent because of my dad's job, and I would never want that life. And I know DH has those tendencies which gives me major pause. He's gotten somewhat better, but if push came to shove and someone had to skip work to deal with a sick kid--right now I think that person would be me. -Two demanding jobs, both of which we love, both of us are wired to be workaholics. -Family is 3000 miles away--although so are both our jobs, so if we wanted to move closer to them, it would be easy to do so. Higher COL though (which is crazy comparing to DC). -I need my sleep and I am not a patient person. Newborn stage looks impossible to me. I have a 3yo nephew and he's fairly fabulous. -All our friends are having kids -Will we get bored with this version of life? -Would having a kid make us more connected to others/community and/or grow as people -At the same time, do I want to be connected to communities of hovering super-parents who have their kids in 15 activities and are doing SAT prep at age 5? I suspect that is who we are surrounded by here (and would be in CA too). -A vague sense that I would like to be about more than just my work. -My mother would die of happiness -A human we raised would generally be a good human I think. Probably chubby, definitely smart. But good.
If you were not someone who always knew you wanted to be a parent someday (but ended up becoming one...), I'd love to hear about how your experience has been... I am specifically interested in people who seriously considered staying child-free but ended up becoming a parent somehow (came around to it, accidents, etc.) Any thoughts on...
1. What convinced you to make the jump? 2. What surprised you? 3. How did your career change? 4. How did your relationship change? 5. What do you wish you had known...?
This thread is brought to you by some health issues that mean I need to get off the fence on this sooner rather than later... Would love to hear insights from others who ended up at Yes despite real doubts.
I wouldn't say we don't have attraction, but it isn't particularly sexual these days - and probably people would be horrified at how infrequently we have sex. But we both have low drives and sex can literally give me hives, which doesn't help.
I'm passionate about the relationship itself though - we are great friends and have deep respect for each other, make an incredible team, are on the same page in pretty much every aspect of life, are very proud of one another, share a lot of the same interests (but also exist separately), etc. I think having all of that is really rare, and I put a lot more value on it than on sex itself.
I got super lucky and fell into one - I was employee 150 or so and now we are about 1000. This is the biggest company I've been part of now. How "startup" is your startup? Does it have funding? A working product? Revenue?